Christmas coming....continued

Darned FoxFire and Internet connection: I was on a roll when off goes my connection and I lost my blog. The only way to get it is to publish the draft and now it won't let me go in and edit.

Back to where I was. (Five years ago before I met him)

Dave was T-boned by an 18-wheeler pulling a low-boy trailer loaded with heavy, oilfield equipment. He had a head injury, a broken jaw, fractured vertebrae, whip-lash, and his right leg was crushed from about 5 inches below the hip joint all the way to the knee. He underwent extensive surgery on the leg. He was unable to work and was in physical therapy for over a year. He had to use his 401 K to live on, eventually had to file bankruptcy while he was waiting on his disability determination and workman's comp. That accident destroyed his life as he knew it. To add insult to injury, the DPS officer who worked the accident gave HIM a citation for at fault, although he CLEARLY had a head injury, had experience loss of consciousness and was unable to tell them exactly what happened, at the scene.

He went to court to fight it, Worker's Comp told him he did not need a lawyer...and since he was an honest man, he thought all he had to do was describe the accident and all would be ok. Not. The 18 - wheeler driver had pulled off the road, into the dirt right-of-way on the RIGHT side of the highway, he did not have on any lights, no blinkers, it was dusk. Dave continued down the road, he said there was so much dust from the 18-wheeler going off the right side of the road, that HE COULD NOT EVEN SEE the 18-wheeler....he thought the truck had pulled over to stop, .....instead the driver was swinging wide to turn LEFT into a side road. The Truck driver proceeded to turn left, not seeing Dave (remember all the dust) and T-boned him on the passenger side of Dave's vehicle. DPS did not cite the Truck Driver...who did not have on his running lights, or a turn signal, and who had in fact left the road-way. They did not take the driver to the ER for the STATE REQUIRED post-accident breath analyzer and drug testing....
Small community, small town judge, good-ol'-boy community, Dave's amazing inability to think he needed a lawyer. His ticket stood, so he was therefore deemed unable to sue the trucking company that HIT HIM! He lost everything! His job, his health, his faith, and almost his sanity. He went from never being late on any bill....with an excellent credit rating, to barely able to pay his morgage. He let his vehicle go back, he moved into an RV, his wife (at the time) blamed him for the change in their lifestyle...mostly she hated him because she had to go back to work. She had him placed on multiple anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. She turned him almost into a Zombie. He was miserable. She wanted out, and he gave her a divorce. HER LOSS, MY GAIN.

He took himself off all the psycho meds. He found out he was still worthy of love. Still, his macho....I'm the man, I should be earning the living .... gets in the way sometimes. It takes an act of Congress to get the man to take a muscle relaxant or a pain pill, when his leg is spasmed to the point it looks like the rod is going to break and all the pins and orthopedic paraphanilia is going to pop right out of the skin. He has refused to use his cane, to the point that he can barely walk at times. He refuses to use his handicap parking tag, we park out in Bum F.... Egypt and he is sometimes pale and almost falling down by the time we get into a store. Yet, his family, thinks he has life made....he has a wife who works, and he gets to "sit home" all day (night).

What the hell is wrong with those people? You would think that his family...who know him best, would know that being a stay at home husband is the last thing in the world Dave would ever want. He misses his job, he was an instrument technician and electrical engineer for a gas-plant in West Texas. He was also an assistant minister at a church I won't name. He lost that position because he couldn't PAY for a RENEWAL on some kind of ministry license required by their faith (WTF????) ... but, mainly the Primary Pastor couldn't use him anymore because he was not able to stand and preach, and he was having depression and not at a point where he was ready to be teaching Sunday School or going to retreats...What kinda church would not take up an offering and pay for that "required" license???? I'm good old, bible belt Baptist, our ministers get "the calling" and get ordained. I don't think they have to pay any fee based anything, to preach. He didn't get paid to preach, he preached from the heart.

Whew....got all that crap out didn't I??? ANYWAY, where I was going with the whole kit and kaboodle was that Dave doesn't want me to buy him anything...and I love buying him stuff he wants....that we can afford. He goes out of his way...everyday to make my life easy and to let me know how much he loves me and appreciates me. I truely am the most loved and luckiest woman on the face of the earth!

Christmas...a time for giving...to those we love, to those who are in need, to our church and to our community. I was I had the money that Donald Trump has...I would give it all away...

Ready or not...here it comes: Christmas

Wow, for somebody who wasn't shopping much this Christmas, I sure have been wrapping a lot of stuff! I must just be a shop-a-holic! It's like, I see something...and it's , "hummmm Dave would sure look fantastic in that". He wan't a Harley for Christmas...but that isn't happening! Rich we ain't! But, hummm, nice warm snuggly clothes, something special to go with his guitars, a little of this and a little of that!

I'm excited ... I love having an excuse to buy stuff for him, because most of the time he won't let me spend money on him. He is so paranoid because his family tells him he is a "kept" man and that I am his "sugar momma". Sometimes I just want to smack them. They try to take his man-hood away, just because he can't work anymore. He cleans house and does the yard-work. At home he can work at his speed, and when his injured leg and back start giving him too much pain he can sit down and rest. He cannot walk up and down metal staircases anymore, he cannot do oil-field lifting, he cannot walk very far without agonizing pain...yet they want to make him feel "less than the best" for something that is out of his control. Dave was on the job, working for a petroleum company, when the company vehicle was T-boned by a

Time to Blog

Lately, it seems like there is just not enough hours in the day. Friday, I got off at 8:15 a.m. and was too tired to go to the gym. I did not think I would make the eight mile drive home. Good thing I only experienced one red light (no going to sleep at the wheel drama there, thank God). I got home, fixed me a snack (night shift had eatten early because we had a spread for Jose who is going to days), so I was 9 hours without food. I could have snacked again when everybody else was, but I am trying to be good. So I come home and blow my diet with a chicken sandwich with a beer. Then 5 seconds later I'm out like a light in the chair. I decided that I was that totally sleepy because I ate mega-carbs...pizza and cake.

I slept most of Friday away, and got up just as the sun was going down. It was certainly crisp outside. Dave was burning the branches from the mesquite tree and it smelled so good. Then we watched t.v. until the wee hours. I have been up since about 8 since I couldn't sleep (night-shift) and by the time Dave gets up I'll be sleepy again. I hate having everything backwards, but I love working nights. I love that I can look though the charts and actually get a real grasp on what is going on with my patient's, instead of just pushing pills and papers all day. I love that my co-workers are my friends...I would hang out with them anytime. I'm blessed to have a job that I love.

Dave doesn't get why I like to blog. It's my de-stresser. Who needs Xanax when they have blogger? Who needs Ativan when they can go and read other peoples blogs. I don't lead an exciting life...and I am easily entertained, LOL, I figure this beats watching info-mercials for junk I don't want.

Guess it's time to try to wake up the sleeping prince, so we can go get out Christmas tree.

Christmas Cards

Wow, I have been working non-stop for 4 hours making out Christmas cards. The only problem, is that I cannot seem to just do a christmas card without writting a note too...I just never have time to write all the letters I would like to. But, wow, when I start making out my cards, it's like, oh, I need to write her! or him! But, no body ever seems to write back. When I moved here to our new place I sent out umteen billion cards and letters. I got one letter back from one of my old friends in Beaumount...and that is all. One letter. I slaved for days handwritting dozens of letters and only one person had the manners to send a letter back. One person. Who I immediately wrote back to. One person. We can get on the internet for hours and hours...but we cannot put a pen to paper to communicate with a friend.

Speaking of communication. Dave is a genius with electrical stuff. He doesn't have an electrician license, but working at the gas-plant he was an instrumentation and electrical technician (with all their specialized training). So I have had to listen to all this electrical greek while he is figuring out what all he needs to install an outside outlet for the Christmas lights and timers. Granted, we already have an outlet, but it isn't "GFI" (?) PROTECTED and it wouldn't handle the load and the outside yada yada yada is not weather proof, and blah and blah and blah and blah....my eyes have been glazed over for at least 15 minutes...yet he continues to explain over and over what he is doing and why he is doing it...which he finishes with: "Well do you want me to wire it Hot or Cold?" Duh, as in "HOT" is fry your ass like a Christmas Turkey....and "Cold" is .... finish the hell up with your blogging and shut the computer down so I can work on the electrical outlet..... HUMMMMMMMMMMMM....how much insurance did I say I took out on you???? Just kidding....and on that note folks...guess I got to shut er down.

Have a great day.

And a Shoe Went to Flying

Ok, I have now officially vowed never, never, never to go shopping on Black Friday again. Yes, I was lured by the possibility of some great bargains...yes I was lured by the promise of a very inexpensive, greatly discounted (if you could find it in the right size and color) leather Jacket I wanted for my honey for Christmas. Maybe it was the working 12 hours and then heading straight to the store, but somehow it was more than I bargained for. I'm looking at jackets and a beautiful cream colored dress shoe comes flying over the racks and nearly hits me. I cannot understand such frantic intensity for shopping. Darn, if that pair of shoes was so great, why is one on one side of the aisle and the other over there assulting my head???? Then I get home and later hear about some poor worker getting trampled in Wal-Mart of all places. Like, Wal-Mart is gonna run out of stuff to sale...no happening. And, Toyz-R-Us...who ever heard of people being murdered over toys. What in the hell is wrong with people. What happened to Christmas Spirit, what happened to manners, when did everything become me, mine, and I want. Somebody needs to spank these people!

Code Blue

Last shift I worked, I came in to get report. J had recieved a new pt, who honestly, looking from the door looked like the foot was on the bannana peel. I asked her "why's he here and not in ICU?". "Oh, well they will have a room for him when the relief gets here...". "Ok, I tell her, I'll get report on the rest of my patient's from the other nurse and by that time the ICU nurse will be ready for report...no need in giving report to me...and me giving a 2nd hand report to ICU is there?" "Uh, OK she agreed (relunctantly because she really wanted to just leave and go home). She had had a long day. I had given report to her in ICU that morning and she had transferred patient's out and they had floated her to tele and given her a butt-load of admits. She looked like she had been basically run through the ringer.

Half-way through my report, J interrupts to tell me that the Powers-That-Be had decided to leave the patient in Tele because "he is doing better" (!). I asked her, if any of them had stepped out of their ivory office to take a peek at the man, because he doesn't look too good. She assured me that he looked better than he had on arrival, and had on his C-Pap and was resting.

I finished my report, then she starts giving me report on the "Banana Peel" guy, I'm looking in the door and I stop her cold...."Let's just go in the room, so I can be checking him out while you're talking, because to me he doesn't look good". "He's got a foley, and it's draining good, and he got lasix and he had C-pap, he's X-years old, and he seems to have some sort of sleep......."

At this point I interupt her, my stethoscope on his chest...."He ain't breathing!" "Uh, she says, his chest is going up and down.." "Yup...that's the C-pap working...he doesn't have any lung sounds..." I start trying to wake him up, shaking him ... doing sternal rubs...calling his name. Hey, J , was he responsive when you were in here...? "He was talking to me", she says. "Well something ain't right now...he's out of it...is he diabetic (I'm observing the ring of sweat on the bed, feeling the patient's skin which is diaphoretic and pale). "No"...

GET THE CRASH CART NOW.....I call the Supervisor for rapid response team, and call respiratory for rapid response team.

The Supervisor comes in and I let the Powers-that-Be know the situation...IE: He isn't moving any air, but he has a pulse and is sinus rhythem...

By this time respiratory is there and checking the O2 sat...which was to say the least dismal....We hit the button...Code Blue...and the rest of the team arrives. The er Doc tubes the guy, but they cannot get it in position, and bagging him is making him puff up like a puffer frog. The man had two docs working on him trying to get him intubated and an OG To get the air out of his stomach. In between we were getting good sats with bagging, just blowing him up like a puffer frog. Mid-way through he had a seizure (damn that sure isn't a good sign!), they finally got him tubes and over to ICU...where they had to CALL IN THE ICU nurse they had put on call. Didn't save any money there folks.

Last I saw, the guy was still tubed and looking pinker, but sedated...don't know how that will turn out. J stopped on her way out 2 hours late and thanked me for looking at the guy with "new eyes", because to her he looked better, and sometimes appearances can be deceiving.

The rest of my night was pretty good except I had one patient that the family even wanted me to come out of the CODE because their mom had some blood in her spit....hello....that's not life threatening...I'll be there when I'm thru here...saving a life...got it folks??? Later they complained to management that "I wasn't treating them right"....hummmm was it the code when I wouldn't desert my patient to look at spit...or was it me asking them to quit sucking her tonsils out through the yanker because she was gagging and that was putting her in pain (gallstones people!!!) and we had just pulled out the femoral line and there was that little bitty thing about possibly causing her to start bleeding....YOU KNOW talking common sense to the contrary!!!!??? I'm just a bitch I guess. Anyhow, my boss just shook her head...and went to her office..., you just cannot please everybody and GIVE GOOD CARE at the same time!

Wal-mart Go-Cart's!!!!

Yesterday at Walmart there was this little old man on the handicap cart. One foot sported a blue foam foot guard and the other an ugly podiatry shoe...the kind you were after surgery. He was over in the dairy section looking at milk, he swung around and did a "U' turn , then he swung around and made it into a doughnut...then he did it about 4 more times. The funniest thing: the look he gave me.

Milk: $2.89
Cottage Cheese: $3.89
Blue Shoe: $25.00
Looking cool on the Wal-mart Go-Cart: "Priceless"

Add to it all the toothless grin full of wonder.....I was giggling all the way to the check-out.

Just do it.

The whole USA only 40-50 cases ANNUALLY of TETNUS...if you get a puncture wound, or a sore, just do it...get the shot. Nothing like being one of the few nurses in the whole USA caring for somebody with TETNUS...to learn more than ya want to ever know about LOCKJAW.

Did you know that if you have lockjaw:

1. You require respiratory support...ie...a trach, because much liike meningitis ya cannot bend your neck.

2. That you will have TETNANY all over which means you are like in a spasm all over...particularly your face...ie: LOCKJAW. (kinda like grinding your teeth all night long, except with a bite block in...and loosened or broken teeth)

3. You probably won't live no matter what is done for you, because by the time it is reconized, being so rare and all, it is usually too late.

LOCKJAW...TETNUS...ANOTERH SUCKY WAY TO DIE.

JUST DO IT...GET IMMUNIZED!

Damn, I guess you can tell it was another hellious night.....tucking bundles of ice packs under 102.8 degreee armpits....

Damn, one more beer and I may just be unwound enough to go to bed. I think I've gritted my teeth all shift trying to do everything I can....wish I could just make everybody well. No body deserves to suffer like this.

The Giggle Box Turn Over

When I was little I spent a lot of time at my Aunt Corabell's with my cousin Jimbo. We would giggle and tell secrets all night. My Aunt would knock on the door and tell us "hush up in there and go to sleep" and Jimbo would always answer "I can't Ginger knocked my gigglebox over!" That would set us off into another gale of laughter! I miss those days.

Well recently I had two incidents that knocked my gigglebox over. I actually woke up thinking about them and now I have to blog or I'll never get back to sleep.

Two weeks ago R had a patient that was in the middle group. I had A side, so I knew nothing about her patients. Half of her call bells ring at my station, and half of the call bells ring at the other station, so if she is on the other side, we answer the call bells. Well, one of her call bells was going off and I couldn't find the aide so I went to see what the lady needed. Well her daughter tells me she needs pulled up.

Now here a little physical description can go a long way: She was like 4 foot tall and really really round. She had very large bosom's and a double chin. I'm looking at her and thinking "Man, no way can I handle this alone." I go looking for reinforcements.

Everybody is busy. P is prepping a patient for surgery. I can't ask her to leave this man naked except for a towel and half his body hair in a cold room. R is in another patient room with a patient who is going south in a hurry and obviously she can't come. I go back to the room and tell the daughter it will be a little bit because everybody is busy. The daughter gets pissed at me and offers to help. I instruct her how to do it without hurting herself, and she's not really listening to me, so we get the pull pad and 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Nothing...this ladies butt is literally glued to the bed. Again, 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Nothing. I'm thinking "Damn...what the heck". I put her in reverse trendlenburg , "OK Honey, we've got to stand you on your head and let gravity help us out a little here." 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!!! Well she moves like 3 inches...and mind you, she was already all the way to the foot of the bed. Ok, I think, this really is not working. I put her back down flat and go and get another aide from the other side.

On the way to the room, I explain the problem. We get in the room and I put the patient back in trendlenburg and M gets on the other side. 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Ok, that daughter must have really been a wimp! Granny goes flying to the top of the bed, pillow behind the top of her head, up against the head of the bed, face between her massive breasts with the funniest look I've ever seen on a person's face. I look at her, I look at M and *choke* *cough*. "Oh my God miss, you've got head crunch here", I state as I straighten out the pillow and put the bed back up. M looks at Granny and *snort* lips twitch...she looked at me...I look at Granny who is trying to rearrange her neck rolls and bosom's and I literally lost it. I had to run out into the hallway. I was giggling and my mascara was running. My gigglebox turned over...I had to go into the doctor's dictation room because I was howling with laughter...and I could NOT stop. Co-workers were looking at me like I was deranged. GIGGLEBOX turnover I would snort and start laughing again. I laughed a full thirty minutes. I think stress had just caught up with me, I sure let it all rip! When it was all over I had no makeup left. I had to go to the bathroom to repair the damage. It was freaking hilarious!

Then last week I was taking care of a tubed patient and she had an air leak in the endotracheal tube. When the tube leaks the patient makes this funny gurgle sound that they should not be able to make. So the other nurse training me tells me to call respiratory and tell them the tube is leaking. I'm like, well can't we just add 1/2 cc of air until they get here? So we do...no problem.

I go to the phone, I phone respiratory and I'm telling F about it. Now we got this nurse that is from Kentucky working with us...her and I hold the trophy for hillbilly talking. No body seems to be able to understand us sometimes. So I'm telling F (who is Hispanic) about the cuff leak, and he doesn't understand me...so I repeat it...only the second time instead of cuff leak I say:

"The lady in Bed 7 has a cuff link in her ET tube". I realize what I said and I start laughing. I try to recover....I look to my right and M is rolling around in her chair snickering, I look at Ms. Kentucky and she is literally rolling her eyes and laughing...."uh, guess ya'll heard that huh?". F is still on the phone...and he's like" what, what, how did she get a cuff link in there?" I'm like...."no, no, damn it , you know what I meant!".

Well, they are still teasing me about the "cuff link"...hey...Gingerjar...was that Gold or Silver Cuff Link that lady had in her ET Tube????

Giggle Box Turn Over...God...I love my job!

Bracelet giveaway

Oh, in case I didn't do it right here is the other blogspot id for the giveaway:

http://www.blogger.com/profile/05605214202876973830

I'm not computer literate to know how to insert a link into my post. Just not sophisticated I guess.

Bracelet giveaway: Follow the blogspot!!!

Aleta is giving away a beautiful bracelet. You can get all the rules and details here:

http://fleurdealeta.blogspot.com


All you have to give up is a holiday memory....Isn't that easy!!!!

Darn I wish I had time to craft! I'm making my grand-daughters quilts...but they are the easy kind that don't take any real thinking to do. I just work on them in front of the tv, while the dogs snuggle down under my handiwork. I love doing it, and it is very relaxing. Between that and the gym I am probably the most kicked back ICU nurse you can imagine!

Fall has Arrived

Wow! November already. I have so many things I need to do. Decorate for Thanksgiving (although I will be working), start my Christmas shopping (Samm's Warehouse...look out), clean house (never ending job).

It's chill here...just a little touch in the air. Yesterday I got off work early enough to actually see a sunrise!!!! It was amazing. The pinks, oranges, golds and that deep deep velvet blue of the tail end of the night. I was just really amazed! Working nights, I usually don't get off work till about 9 a.m. and then I've been trying to go to the gym, so I have sunshades on most days! I got off work yesterday at 7:10. I cannot remember ever leaving work so early.

I worked ICU, and I had my vented patient fairly stable with only one drip running and Good to go for surgery. Basically had nothing to do for her except titrate the drip and chart because had explicit orders not to turn her or do anything that could dislodge the temporary pacer lines inserted through her groin into her heart. It's been awhile since I've worked with a temp pacer and I had to look some stuff up. That's ok, since I'm re-training for ICU I had "people" who could "tell" me what to do...but I'm very particular. I like to know why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how everything is suppose to work...that way if it isn't working properly I know it before it becomes a problem! The patient only understood Spanish, so I would explain everything to the daughter who would translate. The nurse "training" me didn't like me explaining so much, but you know, the family is scared...they are scared their mother is dying, they need to know what I am doing and why I am doing it. They need to know what is planned for their mom to help "fix" her heart. They don't need false hope that "everything is gonna be ok". Their mom would not be in ICU with a tube down her throat and a billion wires everywhere if she was "ok".

I can't tell them what happened to her or why it happened...she came to us from another facility...they were just lucky as hell she was actually in the hospital when she coded. She got timely well performed CPR. She is actually able to communicate a little even with a tube. If that had happened at home, she probably would have been brain-dead by the time an ambulance would have gotten to her! So, even it she is intubated, she has still got a real fighting chance at living. I cannot tell you how many times we code a patient...and even if we get a heart rhythm and vent them for breathing, how many times it is just delaying death by only a few hours. This lady...she is aware of where she is, she can nod her head to questions, she was mouthing her daughters name when she was out of the room, she was following simple commands. I hope her surgery went well, I think she is going to be one of the lucky ones!

Careless Words

Sometimes I start obsessing or thing about things from the past. You know...things you can't change or get out of your head. You forget then boom...so some reason the little niggly thought is there again. Careless words, careless thoughts, carelessness with a loved ones heart. Maybe carelessness is why I felt like my mother didn't really love me...I was just a burden, another brat...and a female one at that. Female brats are evil and untrustworthy. A mother must always be smarter, thinner, younger and sexier at all times, especially once that girl-child begins to grow female appearing breasts!

I have passed the 50 mark, the 40 mark, but the 30 mark was intimidating. Why??? My mother feared and hated 30. I can remember it like yesterday, I was 10. I don't know exactly what my mom said to make me think that 30 was so OLD, after all grandma was around 55 and was much older. Never-the-less, I thought my mother was gonna curl up and die...because she was OLD. Then, it occurred to my 10-year-old mind that not only was my mother gonna die before midnight because she was 30 and OLD, but that it was unthinkable that I would not give her a birthday present. We lived 13 miles out of town on a red-dirt road and 7 miles from the nearest store. I only had about 3 pennies, some rocks and some scraps of fabric in my Prince Albert can (yes RedDirt Woman...you reminded me of the prized Prince Albert cans!). I finally figured out something I could make for my mom. I careful used my 10-year-0ld hand to measure and borrowed grandma's "fabric" sissors to cut out my precious fabric. I carefully fashioned a loop on one corner, pot-holders! Well, not actually thick enough to pick up a pot, but remember I was 10....and didn't realize they were actually used for anything other than to hang on the wall in the kitchen. I carefully wrapped them in comic papers and tied a piece of my hoarded ribbon around the package. I was so pleased with myself. My mother would not go to her grave without a birthday present.

Mom came home from work, she was the "News Girl" on the local radio station...a job she hated...and she was tired. I remember she was resting on the divan after supper, shoes off and feet curled under her a piece of chocolate birthday cake in her hand when I presented her the package. I should have know she was pissed off from the way she sneered her lip at the package...but I was trying so hard to make her happy. Mom pulled off the comic paper and looked at the scrimpy little pieces of fabric. "What the hell is this?" she asked. "Pot-holders" I stammered. "Take this shit and get the hell out of here." Word for Word and I never forgot cursing because when somebody cussed that was a no-no in grandma's house, and there was sure to be heck to be paid! I remember flushing hot with embarrassment and running out of the room with tears filling my eyes. I could hear my grandmother admonish my mother with her full name, but didn't stay to listen to what was said. I went outside and climbed up in the chinaberry tree and satup there for hours, until it was dark and the mosquitoes were biting. I rememberthinking that I never wanted to ever be 30 if it made you be mean, ugly and OLD like that. The next day I threw my prized Prince Albert can, my scraps of fabric and all my treasures into the trash pile.

Mom never spoke to me ever about this childhood incident. One time I told her she had chicken legs when I was grown (30....grown ... not OLD) and to this day she will tell me every chance she gets to bring it up about how much I hurt her by making fun of her legs (which by the way....are still skinny), and I have said I'm sorry more times than can be counted, but she has never ever realized how much I remember the day she turned 30. I think to this day that scorned birthday present was a turning point in our relationship. A point where I knew that nothing I did would ever be good enough, but I never quit trying.

What age has brought to this experience is that I forgive her for being unkind to a child because I understand now that she was hurting. She and Daddy had just divorced, she had moved us back to Oklahoma from California. She was living with her parents in their house under their rules. She could only date if she was home by midnight. She was frustrated and horribly sad.

My mother undoubtably did many unkind things, but other times she did things that I didn't expect...like the time she gave me $50 out of the blue, I was 24, two weeks post-op from a hysterectomy and had a sick 15 month old baby and no money for medicine. I didn't ask, she just gave it to me with a hug. Then there was the time she called me and I was crying because my husband (#2) had gotten drunk, slapped me silly and called me all kinds of rotten names (curse words that don't bear repeating!) . She drove 4 hours in the middle of the night to give him a piece of her mind...after she pulled his drunken half-frozen ass out of the ditch he had passed out and rolled into. Me, I was waiting for him to freeze or drown and I wasn't helping him out of any ditches, I was actually praying to find him dead in the morning and pretending to be clueless. Come to think of it, maybe she didn't really do me a favor that time. Regardless, I appreciated her being a Lioness taking up for her cub.

So yes, careless words can be a double edged sword that can cut all the way to the heart. I make it a point to stop and think when I am angry...do I really want to loosen that sword??? Or is it better to walk away and fight another day? Me I choose to walk away, at least until I'm over my mad. I let all the poison cool, I go and write a blog and delete it. Then, I make up with who ever I was mad at, chances are it's all a misunderstanding because of careless words anyway.

Long week

Well it's been a long week, productive in ways and non-productive in others.

I have been working ICU, which is always interesting in itself. I had a patient that had a lap choleycystectomy (gallbladder surgery). He and his wife were so appreciative of every little thing I did...it was a breath of fresh air! He wasn't really what I would call an ICU patient by the time I got there, but he had been in respiratory distress, so we were monitoring him pretty closely.

My other patient that night was a hoot. He had gotten sick working on his roof following Dolly. Now personally I don't think (especially after this week helping my hubby haul metal roofing material's up onto a roof) that an 70's something gent needs to be on a roof, but since it's very expensive to get repairs done, and the ol' boy knew what he was doing he worked on his roof. Well, the work was a little intense for him and he had a heart attack. His only complaint was that his shoulder was hurting. He had an old injury from bull-riding. BULL RIDING!!!! In his youth, of course, but man ...how interesting is that. Only in the South do you get a 70's year old complaining of his bull-riding injury!

The last night I worked I had one patient I'd already had, that had surgery (of course) and had a pacemaker, he was doing great, and I was coasting. My other patient had had major surgery several days before and had been confused off and on. The Doc had pulled his chest tubes and he was doing good, no pain, no shortness of breath. This should have made for an easy night, but due to his confusion I was having worries that he was going to fall, since he kept trying to get out of the bed. When I finally convienced him that it was 2 in the a.m. and not 2 in the p.m., he settled down to sleep...you could tell he didn't really believe me...but I lifted the shades and showed him the night sky and the street-lights. When we did his early a.m. x-ray there was indications that he was going to have to have the chest tube put back in. I had to call the doc. He was actually sleeping and doing ok, so I didn't awaken him, but I know he was going to be dissappointed to be hooked up again and not able to get around on his own. I wonder how he did? Guess I'll find out Monday night.

Me and some of my co-workers have decided to try to lose weight. I am sick of having a pot-belly that looks like I'm fixing to give birth at any second. We went to the Gym, after working our 12 hour shift. I did a punishing workout called Body Combat...I kept calling it Mortal Combat (like the game) ...then I walked a mile on the treadmill...then I did a class called Body Pump (a light-weight training class).....maybe doing two solid hours of exercise when I haven't done much in a long long long long time wasn't such a good idea. Then when I got up from my nap I helped haul metal up onto the roof and screw it down (as before mentioned). By the time it was getting dark my legs were freezing up...I could barely hobble to the truck to go to town to go out to eat. I could only eat about 1/3 of my meal (hurrah!), and this morning went back to the gym to walk on the treadmill again to try to loosen up my legs. Then I had to chase the dogs all over the two acres twice...so when I sat down again...you got it...my legs froze up again....Lord if I live through the agony maybe I can tone up again.

Why did I let myself get so flabby that a little exercise is such agony??? Oh, and poor Dave, after working on the roof all day yesterday, he got out at the store and almost couldn't get back into the truck because he started having muscle spasms in his legs. I had to shove him into the truck and drive him home and ply him with pain pills, muscle relaxants, and all kinds of analgisic balms to his muscles to get him to stop screaming. At least I'm not screaming ... yet... obviously I haven't worked hard enough yet.

Why are People so Inconsiderate??

I worked last night, walked this morning (yesterday morning) and got woke up by Workmen on the roof...not their fault, you cannot roof a house without noise. I knew census was down, and since I only had 3 hours sleep in 24 hours, I called and got put on-call. When I was verified on call at 6 pm I laid back down and was dead to the world. So 3 hours later I get called by night shift supervisor, who is talking on another phone trying to decide whether to bring me into work or not. The whole gist of the conversation was that I would have to sit on 4th floor the rest of the night for a sleep study, and because I was on-call rather than schedule it was gonna cost the hospital time and a half instead of regular salary. So they decide to put the test off for the patient for one day to schedule somebody so it will not be as expensive (for the hospital), then she hangs up the other line, and tells me never mind...go back to sleep. What the fuck...just go back to sleep??? As you see it is now 1:46 a.m. and what am I not doing....I'm not freaking sleeping. So I've had 6 hours sleep in 38 hours...how does that compute to actual REST???? Not sure, but that time between 6 pm and 9 pm was awsome! I would love to just go back to sleep, but it's not happening, and I'm on-call for 1 hr and 19 minutes more, then I can take some Benadryl or something.

So, since I'm awake...here is my most favorite birthday memory:

My 11th birthday. My grandma baked a special cake for me. She had been practicing and practicing this new receipt for a Lemon cake (I loved lemons...but not necessarily lemon cake). She baked me a beautiful yellow Lemon cake and decorated it with those sugar characters you used to be able to buy at the grocery store, I remember it was a cowgirl, Then the candles were held by little candies. The candies actually tasted really gross on a Lemon cake, but to me it was wonderful and I bragged and bragged on the cake. My Uncle Dan (who is no longer living) was in from Oklahoma City and he brought me a bracelet with poodle dogs and every poodle dog had a pink rhinestone tail (my birthstone color). My mom bought me a book "Alice in Wonderland", which I still have...and I actually wrote in the book that I got it for my birthday...in little girl cursive. That book survived my house fire, because I had it packed at my mom's still, so I have a 40 year old copy of "Alice in Wonderland", wonder what the "Antiques Roadshow" would auction that buddy off for? LOL. Anyway I've never forgotten my cake with the cowgirl or how much I appreciated that my grandma went to all that trouble just for me...her little tom-boy grand-daughter!

This way a Birthday came...and went

Yesterday was my Birthday and it came and went without a sniffle. I was 51...now I am still 51 and one day. What did I do with my second day of 51??? I walked the American Heart Association heart walk....3 whole miles...after my 13 hour shift and before I ate breakfast. I earned myself a free cap, a pat on the back...and since I've got home a bowl of cottage cheese. Isn't life grand???

Then I get home...surprise, my hubby went to Victoria Secret and got me a pretty sexy bra set in my favorite red. Somehow he doesn't see the little jiggles and rolls I got going, but I'll pretend I don't notice them either when I test run that little set!

I wanted to blog about my favorite birthday memory...but I'm just too darned tired. So...give me some good reading. Tell my your favorite birthday memory....

Insane Mama: A Big Old Spooky Mess

Insane Mama: A Big Old Spooky Mess

You can follow the link to Insane Mama to enter a contest for gas money or a cash prize. All you have to do is submit a scary story or a Halloween story.

I have a doozy of a story. It's not a Halloween story, but it was very scary.

When I was married to Husband #4 (Don't Ask!)....we lived in a home from the '40's. We knew it was haunted. How did we know? Hummm...something about bangs in the night, voices screaming at the husband to "get down" and "stop" while he was painting his work-out room red. I got the hysterical man call at work at 2am...wanting to know where the hell the tequilla was so he could get his hands to stop shaking, and he was not a hysterical type of guy. Other times we would watch our two dogs, one a full grown German Shepherd watching something near the ceiling in the kitchen (always in the kitchen) and following it around the ceiling barking and whining and growling...and there was NOTHING there, not even a reflection of light from the street. The only other time the dogs acted that way was when somebody was breaking into the house next door and the dogs acted the same way while trying to scratch through the window to get at the burglar!

So, we pretty much were sure the house was haunted.

It was a few weeks before Halloween. My girlfriend Reggie and her *girl-friend* / *partner* were over visiting with her two boys. The boys didn't want to stay because it was getting dark and they had heard their mom talking with Hubby #4 about the house being haunted. Hubby #4 worked nights so he went to off to work, leaving me, my two girlfriends, his two daughts and two little boys to our own devices. We convinced the kids that ghosts are probably not real, and they if they were, we had lived in this house a long time...and the ghost was like Casper the Friendly Ghost because nothing bad had ever happened, just weird things like voices and noises.

We finally had every-body settled in eatting pop-corn and watching a DVD. We were watching Tom Hanks in "The Green Mile". We had been laughing and joking and everybody was in the living room. The porch light was on, all the lights in the living room were on, and all the lights in the dining room were on. The living room and the dining room were open...where it had been expanded into one big room at some time in the past. We were near the end of the show where the big Black Inmate is getting ready to go to the electric chair. He's walking down the hallway crying and lights start blowing out in the hallway on the show. At that EXACT moment all the lights in my living room, dining room and on my porch blew out...with sparks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The television did not go off or even flicker. Kids are screaming and all the grown ups stood up and screamed. My step-daughter almost had a panic attack...just sitting and shaking and going "oh, my God" Oh, my God" over and over. My other step daughter ran to her room and turned the light on in there.

Well, no body wanted to stay for the end of the movie. I had to replace all the light bulbs. The next morning Hubby #4 checked the fuse box and all the electrical stuff he could, but we never found an explanation for the lights going out....and the timeing??? Who could ever explain that?

To this day I still tell the story of the night the lights blew out at the same time as they did on "The Green Mile". I still have lots of witnesses that the story is true and I still love watching Tom Hanks in "The Green Mile". I no longer live in the haunted house, and I have never experinced anything like this again.

Something Drunk happened on the way to the Capitol

Well, Austin being the party town it is advertised to be, I couldn't go to a 5 star hotel and not at least taste the party life, could I???? Apparently not...so with some recommendations from the locals we hailed a Taxi and went to eat at at a place called the Belmont...which I promptly dubbed Bellview ( like the crazy farm in New York City...oops sorry...politically correct...Psychiatric Facility...) ...and Bellview it stayed the rest of the time. It had a outside upstairs patio that looked down on the local talent...which was playing guitar and singing their little hearts our. I drank Grey Goose and OJ and ate a marvelous plank grilled Salmon with grilled asperagus. It was really tasty...and of course...with a name like Bellview...expensive to boot.

Later we walked down to an old club called Antoine's. It had sheet metal walls...and the ceiling was those restored plaster ceiling type tile painted an attractive (?) rust brown. The bathroom was cool, had sheet metal stalls made for size "0" girl's. I'm a comfortable size 12 and I had to almost turn sideways to get in the stall. I actually hit my knee on the tolite paper dispenser! The door to the stall looked like the ceiling tiles distressed by a hammer, but the sinks were cool. The cabinet top was like hammered brass with brass sinks made into them and the hardware was like copper colored with the porclain (ms??) handles...very antique looking.

Anyway at Antoine's they had a two man band called "The Best of Love". The lead singer and guitarist was a white dude...that sang so smooth a cajun beat you would not even believe his race...while looking at him. The drummer was coal black and a big giant of a guy, shaved head, pierced ears and all! Like Mr. Clean in negative. Anyhow, he was playing the drums with these crazy paddles like wooden kitchen spoons. The music was out of this world. The guitarist played his guitar laid on his lap like a steel guitar and used a glass slide. It sounded almost like a harmonica...the music sounded like Cajun, bayou, and the blues all slung together. Very original and very memoriable. We bought a homemade CD they had produced of their songs...they only have about 5 original songs...but they were great!

More Grey Goose and vodka (notice I'm calling it vodka and vodka by this point???). We got a taxi back to the hotel. We went up to the roof-top hot tub and lounged around. More Grey Goose with a splash of that orange stuff in it. Then back to the room. Around about this time I suddenly notice that the set has fell out of my Opal ring Dave gave me for Christmas. I was so upset. I looked for it everywhere...but everything was a bit blurrrrrrrrrrrrrry so I wound up just going to bed to sleep everything off.

WELL the next morning bright and early my brother wakes me up with a phone call wanting to know if we want to go to breakfast before going to the graduation ceremony at the Capitol (my son is graduating from the Police Academy at the Capitol building in Austin). WELL MENTIONING FOOD WAS NOT A VERY GREAT IDEA AT THIS POINT. All the fun from the evening before came rushing up on me. Thank God, Dave slept through most of this ....ah, worshiping of the white goddess...but later....oh my lord...later wasn't good. I didn't have a headache kinda hangover. Just one of those...everytime you turned your head fast the room spun, you almost pass out, then you need to throw up and are so thirsty you think your tongue is a sponge. WELL DAVE WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT SYMPATHETIC EITHER...HE THOUGHT I DESERVED THE REVENGE OF THE GOOSE. He forgot who poured him out of the taxi and up the stairs....and into the elevator and kept him from drowding in the hot tub. I had already thrown up 5 times before the taxi got there to take us to the Capitol.

Well you know how there are always lots of security hanging around the Captiol building on any given day, well since they are having a graduation of the Rookie Cops times that number by about 3 times and you can imagine how many policemen are hovering around the elevators. I start searching for a restroom (the taxi had to circle the Capitol twice to find the right entrance...it was about 98 degree's and he drove with the air-conditioning off)...spinning head, heat, circling taxi, quick walk to the right entrance, up lots of stairs, head spinning, head spinning, heat, ....elevator???? By this time I feel like I'm about to black-out or throw up whichever comes firts! Well, I couldn't find the bathroom. Old building, few signs...the only sign a tiny gold lettered "ladies" hidden down a hallway....with a turn. I dash acoss a slippery waxed floor on new heels praying....God God God...please God God God.....looking for....oh, a trash can.....yes...I embarrassed myself....Water in Water Out....I turn around to find out....I have been followed by multiple uniformed personnel (guess they thought I had a bomb).I was so embarrassed!!!! To tope everything off my ex-husbands new wife had just arrived in time to witness me making quite the spectical of myself. My humiliation was complete. I finally found the restroom, and with a lot of wet paper-towels to the face, was able to make the ceremony, and the picture taking session, and I didn't embarrass myself any further.

Grey Goose evil, Grey Goose evil, Grey Goose evil, Grey Goose evil (I am officially on the wagon...from Grey Goose anyway)

Water Water Everywhere

Well, you know how it is, feast or famine, drought or flood. Since I haven't lived in this area that long, I wasn't too worried about the drought...except with all the wild-fires in the Spring and early summer. In fact when we were in Tennessee my hubby was so excited when it rained he got out the cam-recorder and documented it. It was really funny, to me, because I had spent the last few years either in Beaumont, Texas or the Piney forest of East Texas, where rain was more of a bother than a blessing. My hubby on the other hand (this was around the time we got married), had spent years in Carlsbad, New Mexico and West Texas...Midland and Odessa to be exact, then he had moved to the Rio Grande Valley. To him rain was not only a blessing, it was an occasion to be celebrated with champane!

Here, now....water, water, everywhere. Since Dolly we have been blessed with an over-abundance of rain. The soil here just cannot handle it. We live in black-land clay, you hear Rio Grande Valley and you think sand...but it just isn't so. With clay, after so much absorption...water just stands there going nowhere. Now remember we live in the country, so we have a septic system. After so much water, the septic lines and tanks fill up, they cannot drain because the ground is saturated. So, we are having trouble with our brand new septic system...and they just don't come with a garrantee. Oh, and remember the texas mosquitoes??? There is no stopping the breeding action when there is water standing inches above the ground everywhere you look. And the grass....beautiful...and deep...and unmowable...because the water is standing inches deep....and it HASN'T RAINED IN OVER A WEEK!

The lakes are full...for the first time...ever. I guess the water table has came up. I have a friend who cannot even shower at home because she lives on Class IV land...and apparently didn't do the recommended Class IV septic...and her well now smells like rotten eggs, and so does her bath water. So, guess since we have "city"water, we actually are doing ok. It's just that pesky little problem of water backing up in the bathtub. Guess it's a spit bath for me!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH

My hubby is Mr. Technical Techo decided to change my homepage and his. Now we have something called Monzilla Foxfire and he has managed to hide all the blogs I follow that I had saved as favorites because I didn't know how to add a blog-roll. So all these great blogs I love to read I have to re-find, and If I've forgotten somebodies name or blog-spot...I'm basically screwed. So Here I sit with the Plot of Revenge...How he has Figured Out How to Pry me Off the COmputer to sit outside in the 97 degree heat With Him and Watch the Chicken Smoke...not happening...this gal is gonna figure this 'puter out....now were did I put that delete key?

Sucky Ways To Die

I always thought of the many ways we destroy our bodies that liver failure would be the worst way to go. Yellow skin, yellow eyes, swollen belly, bleeding from every orfice, brain in shut down from over-abundance of ammonia, crapping every 15 minutes due to the meds to take said ammonia out of the system...yup a very sucky way to die.

I have revised my list to include total renal (kidney) failure. The kind where you have to have dialysis three times per week or swell up like a puffer fish and suffer agonizing pain all over and slow shut down of every system...most importantly...and not to be under-estimated your respiratory system.

I've had two patient's in less than than many weeks with basically the same thing. They both refuse dialysis...they know they are gonna die...but choose to live their last days without being hooked to the dialysis machine. That is their choice. My problem??? Doctors...who know the patient is in agonizing pain, can't breath because of the fluid overload and they want them to go for pointless and useless tests to tell them what they already know...duh...they are in kidney failure. Happened last week, Doc tells me to "convince" the patient to go for the CT Scan (humm, she is now 350# due to all the fluid, her legs are so heavy she can't move them, it is agony for us to just turn her to wash her bottom and back and the doc wants her to lay flat...transfer to a gurney...transfer ...still flat...to a tiny table that goes into the machine. Lie flat, possibly with her arms over her head...if they will go that high...then transfer back to the gurney, stay flat for the 15 minute trip back to her room and transfer back to her bed.) Now, if she survived all that "testing" just what good would it do? My answer to the doc. "Dude, she signed a DNR, She is wanting to go home with hospice, She is refusing hemodialysis...and this test is gonna help her, how?" "oh"...well he cancelled the test. She went home with her family by ambulance a couple of days later. I heard last night that she passed away, as expected, surrounded by her loving family.

Nuff said...I don't want liver failure or renal failure...

Not a Real Nurse?

WEll, I got a little fed up with being the total support person for a year for the new nurse...and stressed by all the stuff going on at work...so I applied and was accepted for a new position. I'm gonna be a casemanager. I'll still be a nurse, just the go-to person for arranging home health, hospice, rehab, and lots of other marginal duties. So, my co-workers are looking at me like I'm a turn coat...I was even told I was no longer a "real nurse".

So, am I only a "real nurse" when I am handing out meds, mediating with a family, doing teaching, fielding orders and phone calls and all those things. Why is it if you arn't wiping bottoms and giving bed-baths you arn't a "real nurse". And speaking of that, why is it that the people who think you arn't a "real nurse" are the very people who won't "touch" a patient, unless they have no other choice...and pick your brains to pieces...but consider their-selves a "real nurse". Education is not what makes you a real nurse...caring is what makes you a real nurse. I think I can do a great job of caring, and helping people learn to care for themselves.

If I am not able to learn to do this new job, I'm sure their will be plenty of "real nurse" jobs for me to go back to.

On the flip side, my honey is looking forward to me being home nights and weekends. :)

Abby gets the bird

Beautiful day yesterday, sunny, cool, little breeze blowing, so we opened up all the windows. Abby was playing vulture dog...just hanging on the back of the love seat looking out the window. Me, I was trying to catch a nap before I had to go to work...somehow 4 hours of sleep was not cutting it. All of a sudden, whack...whack...THUMP.

Apparently some nearsighted quails tried to fly right through the window screen, and Abby reacted like any red-blooded fraidy cat dog...and fell off the back of the love-seat. Then she tried to save face by jumping back up on the loveseat and raising nine kinds of billy hell barking and growling...which got the rest of the pack going.

Dave had to reported all this to me with glee, as I stumbled into the living room to see what all the fuss was about.

Too funny, then the pups all had to go out and pretend to be bird dogs...looking for birds...or feathers...or anything they could find and bark at it. Poor baby cow. Poor baby cow that is Abby's neighbor. Poor baby cow. Poor momma who got zero zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's.

We missed Ike...but...

Well we missed Ike, but a lot of my friends and extended family didn't. My (ex) step-daughters evacuated to Sulfur, LA...and wound up getting hit harder than if they had stayed in Beaumont, and three days later were told to evac from Sulfur because they had been without electricity for 3 days, so they just went home to....la-da-da...no electricity. They are getting pretty used to it by now. I have friends working at the hospitals there who I haven't heard from yet. I hope to try again the next few days as peoples cell phones start powering up again and the towers are back up.

Here...we went to the beach on Tuesday, Padre Island...the access roads were closed. We took the dogs and walked in with a couple of sandwiches, wieners for the pups, and some towels to sit on. We had the best time ever. There were only two or three beach-combers...and we were able to let the dogs off the hook to run and play and explore in the dunes. Funny thing, the dunes are closer to the beach, and the beach sand is all packed down because the loose stuff washed out. The surf is still muddy and only an idiot would brave the rip-tides...but for a romp in the water with the puppies it was wonderful. Dave pronounced it as the best beach day he has ever had.

Amen!

YIKES...HERE COMES IKE!!!!!!!

This is me and Abby working on a baby quilt for my new grandbaby. Notice how calm we appear. This was before we heard there was another hurricane in the gulf. Anxiety Annie...that should be my nickname, I an a ninny when it comes to storms that contain the following: wind, rain, lightening, and thunder...and did I mention wind, rain, lightening, and thunder....???

WEll somehow I got the picture on here twice...not what I wanted to do.

Ike is coming. We are warned of the following: Be prepared to evacuate with your patient's on a "volunteer" basis. (yeah right), you must report for work prepared for lock-in (in other words...once ya get here ya ain't going home...no matter what!). If you evacuate...you have a ride in an ambulance to a sister hospital where you will be responsible for a patient that is shipped....do not know if you will have a ride back in an ambulance or not...that is not known....you may know where you are going...you may not. You may have clean clothes with you, you may not, you will be responsible to pay for your own meals...if there are meals available (so take card, cash and extra undies kiddies...it might get rough!) When you get to the sister facility...you may or may not have a place to sleep (so are we taking care of the patient 24 hours a day for how long....and if we go to sleep after 36 hours or so is that a cause to be suspended or lose your nursing license??? or is that common sense?) or you stay at your facility...with admits pouring in because anybody with a chronic condition that is afraid to evac...like hemodialysis patients and patients on C-pap's (no electricity and every body panics)...so you may be caring for twice the patient's with half the helf and everybody is totally needy, and they bring oodles of family with them (who cannot be turned away). I understand everybody wants to be safe. But, when I report to work I leave my husband to fend for himself with three dogs in a mobile home in a least a Cat 3, and we know a Cat 3 and mobiles don't mix....I'm trying to talk him into evac before the storm to Austin or San Antonio so he can get a room, and be my rock in the storm when I evac to the same town...(I'll insist...I think), and I know I'll have a ride home...and I won't be so scared....of the wind, rain, lightening, and so on and so forth.....

Then of course there is the best case scenerio...it goes North and hits somebody else...but then that's where my son, daughter-in-law and grandson live...could be it would trace North....How selfish would it be to pray it go South of the Rio Grande???? The people there have nothing...no hurricane supplies, no government support, and they live in shacks...even I could not be so selfish....So.................

Anxienty Annie is praying for a miracle...that it peters out into a little ol' tropical storm Ike with a lot of rain and a lot of miracle in the thunder and that no body gets hurt or loses their homes.

50 1st dates....

Remember the show, 50 1st Dates with Drew Barrymore??? Well I had a simular experience last week with my new patient.

I recieved a 91 year old grandpa...with Alzheimers dementia. He had no family with him, and obviously was a poor historian. He was very pleasant and spoke a little English (Better than my little bit of Spanish). Every time I went into the room he would ask "Who are you?" in a fearful voice. Each time I calmly responded "I'm Ginger, your nurse." He would respond each time " I'm Mr. Jose." (not his real name). I would do what I needed and leave with a small light left on. About the 5th time this happened it started being funny. The aide went in with me to turn him. Now you have to know my aide...I'll call him Jay. Well Jay used to be an EMT which he thinks makes him ultimately qualified to tell the RN's what to do...or maybe it's because he is a man and is over 50 years old. Anyway, in his condensending voice (in front of the patient) he told me "YOU need to learn Spanish, why haven't you taken a Spanish course? You're a nurse." (the subtitle here is: you're a nurse I know you can afford it, don't you care that you can't talk to your patient's?). "Well Jay, I'd certainly love to take a class, but as you know the only time they teach it is at night....when I'm at work...and I can't take off work a whole semester to take a class." (unlike his family situation...we are a one income family!). My patient, Mr. Jose listened very carefully to what was being said....Jay told him in broken Spanish what we were going to do (give him a bath). Mr. Jose looked at Jay, looked at me....and shook his finger at Jay and said ....."YOU need to learn a little Spanish, SHE's ok!" Jay's jaw dropped to the floor, and I had to giggle, it was sooooo freaking funny. I actually think he meant to tell Jay he needed to learn a little manners!

Later when the doctor came in...Jose and I had another of our 50 1st Dates. "Who are you?", "I'm your nurse, Ginger".... The doc spoke fluent Spanish. She was talking to the patient and she started laughing, and patting his hand and saying, no no no...then another quick string of fast Spanish. I asked her what was so funny....She said she had asked him if he knew where he was and he had said "yes"....she said "well where are you at?" He responded "the funeral home"! No wonder he was so fearful everytime I went into the room...he thought he was dead!

Alzheimers has to be the saddest disease. I used to work with a nurse at the prison, her husband had Alzheimers, and he was in his early 50's. She eventually had to quit her nursing job to care for him full time. She had him in assisted living...but it still took her as a full-time caregiver to keep him safe.

I looked up some info on Alzheimers because my nursing mag's have printed articles about advances being made. A good resource is www.alz.org which explains about this disease, the progress being made and resources for caregivers.

Me, I wonder if Mr. Jose will be there on Monday still for our 50th 1st date?

Why Visitors Should Go Home...but they don't :(

Had a patient repeat tonight. Same dude that almost coded on me with the same spouse that screamed at me and grabbed my arm. WELL LET ME TELL YA! The poor guy got no sleep last night...his wife poked and prodded and shook him all night...and would come get me...."his stomach is hurting him"...

Well Ms. PIMA (ok that is bad...but it stands for Pain in my Arse), what makes you think his abdomen is hurting him, he is actually asleep.

Well Ms. SmartyPants nurse when you take your hand push it five inches down into his stomach, grasp the "fat" and twist it elicites a moan and he starts slapping the side of his bed with his hand.

Ms. PIMA, perhaps if you didn't attempt to palpate his spine from the front, he might possibly stop hurting.

But, Ms. SmartyPants nurse, he must be hurting.

Ms. PIMA, I really must insist that you unhand your husbands stomach before he covers you with Pulmocare emesis, which wouldn't be very pleasant.

Well, Ms. SmartyPants nurse, I really insist that you medicate him for pain since he is obviously in pain. (actually by the point the patient WAS in fact moaning) I could "see" the pain. I bet in the depths of his mind, back behind the drug induced fog and the ICU psychosis..he is thinking...someday Ms. PIMA...someday I will run to the light...run to the light to get away from the constant goading, pinching, pushing and pulling on me you do!

Oh, Joy! She actually slept one hour last night...so my patient got to sleep one hour. She said she would go home for a few hours to sleep today, so the Mr. will get a little sleep...of course that means she will be back to fuss over him and pick, prod, and piddle all night. I swear she stood at the door's window watching me, and everytime my behind got near a chair so I could chart and check the Medication records for the next shift...she was calling me for something. I feel sorry for the Mr. Maybe they will send him to rehab so he can rest up before he has to go home.

Me. I got off work and went to the other hospital to actually visit somebody, my neighbor. She is so nice...she gave me an ivy she grew for our house. She had knee surgery and is a bit under the weather. I took her a card, a mum plant (gold and yellow...very pretty) and two magazines. Her hubby wasn't there yet. Their cow died last night and he's waiting for the county to come and bury her. They sure loved that cow...she actually died of old age! Ah, to be a cow...a HAPPY COW!!!

Oh, and speaking of HAPPY COW'S never never never never sent a FarSides cartoon with a cow on it to a sister-in-law....they just don't get the humor...especially when they (unbeknownest to you) have gained 50 lbs since you last saw them....yes...my bad. I was trying to cheer her up since she had just gotten released from the funny farm. I sent her a card that had a salesman cow on it and a housewife cow opens the door. Salesman cow asks "are you a happy cow?"....and the rest is history. My sister-in-law didn't speak to me for nearly a year.

It is a Hurricane Baby

My ex-step-daughter who was due in two weeks and lives in a "sub" of Beumount, TX had to evacuate for Gustav. Her mom lives in Tyler, so there she went and when she got there had to go immediately to the hospital where she had a beautiful baby boy 5lbs and 6 oz, they named him Camdyn. So she'll always have the ultimate hurricane story!

What did that tree cost?!!!!

Went to Lowe's to pick up a replacement tree for the fig tree that bit the dust following Dolly (too much standing water did it in). Found a lot of stuff to buy (guess Dave will be digging holes), I get to the check out and the girl is ringing up my purchases. Her eyes get really big, she looks at me, swallows and asks, "Ms. How much was that banana tree?". "Well it was originally $58, but is on sale for $24.". "Oh", she says, "Well I need to call my manager, it overcharged you." "Well how much does it say it costs?" I innocently ask, "UMMMM it rang up $10,000."...............!!!!! I look at the pitiful, on sale, only three-leaves left clearance banana tree..."Well I sure don't see GOLD on the leaves...I think the computer is wrong!" We got a good giggle out of it. I had to wait 30 minutes for management to come to the garden center, then she discounted it more because of the mixup. I got a $58 tree for $6.99. Quite the bargin...for a $10,000 item I thought.

AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH

I AM A GOOD NURSE, POSSIBLY A GREAT NURSE, POSSIBLY AN EXTRAORDINARILY GREAT NURSE. But lately, it's been run, hurry, do this do that...now..now...snap...snap...snap...quick...oops, more, get me, bring me...now! No please or thank-you's ...just snapped orders from patient's, family members, and bosses. Ok, I get it, everybody is stressed. Everybody...is..sick..dying...or whatever. Family's are stressed...take it out on the nurse. Doctor's are stressed....take it out on the nurse. Housekeeping is stressed...take it out on the nurse. Pharmacy is stressed...take it out on the nurse...People at other facilities are stressed getting transfers from the shift before you came to work...take it out on the nurse.who.was.not.even.there.when.it.happened.and.expect.her.to.find.the.discharged.chart.
and.fax.what.you.want....in the middle...of a major code blue....(which she went to and did compressions and management of a balloon pump) ....and a fire drill...!!!!!!....and ER trying to give report on patient coming...AS SOON AS THE FIRE DRILL IS OVER!!!!! Even a good nurse, great nurse, or nurse extradinare is gonna reach reaction overload!

On top of everything else going on in this circus I call my LAST shift, I had an ICU transfer...on mega fluids 1/2 NS @120, GETTING a Golyte prep (ummmmh can we say 4 LITERS OF FLUID) for the 2ND DAY in a row (gee ICU nurse who transfered this patient, why did no one think to tell the MD that the patient started the day 7 LITERS OF FLUID positive...then add the next 4 LITERS...and fluid...and and and) and and...

I started watching his breathing very closely...his lung sounds...how he was abdominal heaving...side to side...Not midnight yet...called on-call to give a head's up in case the patient progressed to a more typical respiratory distress. Got order to D/C fluids down to keep vien open..(great, I'd already done that 3 hrs ago...and was planning to get an order for that as soon as the shit quit hitting the fan around here), no Lasix order (must see labs 1st). Well before lab got there...pt deoxgenated to low 80's (got a stat ABG +..that means arterial blood gases with all the electrolytes), put on non-rebreather at 100% oxygen. Called on-call back...as in GET HERE QUICK QUICK OR GIVE ICU ORDER...THIS PT NEEDS INTUBATED NOW! Oh, no, cannot sent to ICU or intubate without the MD showing up....buy now we are bagging and I've called for the rapid response team...Everybody shows up for the party...so I go to the phone and call the wife...who didn't really want to come, but I insisted.

She steps into the room, grabs me by the arm (yes there are bruises) shakes me SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WAS FINE WHEN I LEFT AND NOW YOU'VE TRIED TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hummmmmmmmmmmm....she was the one who insisted he have the test again the next day...with the mega prep...................I was the one who saved his life.

He's in ICU , vented, doing fine. Me I want to quit nursing....walk away, go back to being a secretary...where no body cares what you do or when you do it and if you don't get finished...who gives a shit???

Then to top the night off, since my intubated patient took the last ICU bed, I had to take a transfer...that was going to ICU...until my intubated patient took priority...and there was no bed left....so LUCKY ME....I got a patient that required me in the room the rest of my shift to keep her breathing...........

I left work after 9:30 a.m., Respiratory Doc came in and tapped my new patient's lungs and got her breathing again.

Now I can rest up. I'm off for 2 glorious days. My honey and I are thinking about me going back to travel nursing. Maybe I need a change of pace. Maybe I need a break....maybe I need another vacation. I'm feeling burnout.

Friends

I was just sitting this morning drinking my coffee and thinking about friends. Friends I've had at different points in my life and where they are now and if I even know anymore.

I don't remember any real friends until 6th grade. Before that my cousins were my best friends. My favorite cousin was "Jimbo". We did everything together. We slept over at each others houses on weekends, we were in the 4-H club together. I felt like she was so lucky because she had sisters. They were all lots older, but she had them. She could ask them all kinds of questions...about makeup, boys, life in general. You know, all the things you want to know, but won't ask your mom.

Uncle Bud and Aunt Corabell owned a dairy. It was really neat (when it wasn't your responsiblity) to get up and go get the cows in, put the feed in the troughs and watch Uncle Bud clean and hook up the milkers. I was endlessly fasinated and did not at that time, appreciate how hard the work really was. That dairy was cleaner than most houses. Grandma and Grandpa had a milk cow...a herford white face...not exactly a quality..quanity producer, but she had lost her calf, so grandpa started feeding her up and milking her. We learned how to make home made butter and buttermilk. I learned how to hand milk, but my hands weren't very strong, so I didn't do it much, but I did know how. That was probably the meanest cow I ever knew, she would hide in the back pasture when it was time to milk her and we had to go hunt her over the whole 30 acres. We never knew if she was hiding in the gully or the woods, and once she even jumped the fence and hid on the ajoining property, but then I digress. I was talking about friends here.

Back to Jimbo. When I was 10 years old we moved to Texas. Not a long move, but it put Jimbo 40 miles away, which pretty much ended the sleepovers. We grew apart, met new friends and moved on with our lives. She grew up, had kids, and so on and so forth. When I was at my Aunts Funeral in December, I got her address and phone number from one of her sisters. I was so excited, it made me feel connected to family again. She lives not far from my brother Greenville, but very far from here. I called her and we talked nearly two hours. I have written her two letters....I invited her to come to visit, and stay overnight...even her daughter who was considering going to college down here. She never wrote back. She visited Padre Island this summer with her family, passing within miles of my home, but didn't bother to call. I guess too much time has passed for her to put anymore effort into this friendship. I didn't go to the family reunion, but my brother did, he talked to her, she mentioned her vacation...that's how I know she was down here. You'd think she would want to spend even a few hours talking about family, but guess not.

Then in high school my best friend was Mary. Mary dropped out of school when she was 17, but she was so smart. We stayed in touch, and our kids played together as children. She moved away from C'ville, then I moved away, then she moved back to that area, but I didn't. I've lost her address, but I still know where she lives, the last time I was through there I went by her house to visit...yes it's been 11 years, but next time I'm in that part of Texas I'll try again. I've tried to find her on the internet, but she has a very common last name, so that's impossible, I've tried listings for her small town, but her phone is not on any of them. I wonder if she remembers me...ever.

Then there was my best friend Janet. I hear from her occasionally....an email now and then.

I've had a lot of friends over the years, but we all get busy with our lives and don't take care of our friendships. I actually have friends on MySpace and Blogger that I have never met, and they are special friends to me....they listen to me, and answer me, and make me feel connected to the world. I think I really like this blogging thing. It gives me a chance to just think out my feelings and vent, and just be myself.

Last, but certainly not least....and not a "girlfriend", my best friend is Dave. He is my lover, my confidant, my everything. We talk for hours about nothing. We laugh, we eat, we tease, we watch tv, or not, we listen to music or to the silence ... just being around each other is enough. I've had a lot of friends of the years, but I've never had one who just knew what I needed by looking at me. He calls me on the phone, just to leave a message. He sends me little emails to work, knowing that when I get a chance to check it...be it 4 am or later, that it gives me a little boost just knowing that he is thinking about me. I don't think I could survive without him.

Friends....they just make like....fuller.........

Karoke

Ok, so I'm off, and I'm drinking and not driving and doing really bad karoke at home. I have a machine, my sweetie piped it all through the tv and the surround sound (glutton for punishment he is)...but if I can stand his guitar practice, he can stand my singing....what, oh, well, where are all the dogs??? Do I see paws over the ears??? What was that howl??? A high "C" maybe??? Or a howl of severe pain??? It doesn't really matter, singing makes me feel happy, and happy is good on a day off.

Speaking of work, in a round-a-bout way. My co-worker , Ms. Newbie Nurse Forever called in "tired" to work. Actually called in and said she was too tired to work, she worked too hard last night, call her off, get somebody else to work. Hummmmmmmmmm. She had 4 patient's...I had six. She had one measly admit...I had two back to back admits, one ambulance transfer home, one hourly blood sugar on an insulin drip, one post surg 2 days, with a chest tube, and...that's how it goes. When she works me and the other experienced nurse get all the hard stuff, all the admits, any transfers or discharges...and she whines all night how over-worked she is. She is going on vacation soon....I looked on the schedule...17 days of pure bliss...no body picking my brain for anything....how ever will I survive???? Some days I come in so tired...and I feel like I have been in an episode of Alfred Hickocks "The Birds" and she has been picking at my brain all night long till the point I can't even think. How I drive home is on auto-pilot. I like her...as a person...as a friend...but as a nurse she is driving me and all my co-workers bonkers. She calls in all the time, tells us she's calling in because "I don't like the assignment I had, I'm too tired, they want me to work too hard"...and I wonder...she DOESN'T EVER TOUCH A PATIENT! She gets somebody else to do all her dirty work. Someday soon she may call in "Tired" and find out she doesn't even have a job anymore. In the meantime...I have 17 days of using my own brain for my own work..WooHoo. Oh, and when she was off "tired" I had two new travelers who didn't know where anything was or how our paperwork was to be done, and taking the time to help them still left me with plenty of time for my patients and admit...and I had the most patient's assigned to me because I was a "regular"....and I still had an EASIER night than with the 1 1/2 year "New Nurse Forever"!

Oh, and back to karoke. I rock...I roll, and I sing...bad karoke!

Dolly, Random weirdness

Well, Dolly may be gone, but there are still weird things to see and experience.

The elevator at work. The rear door doesn't open. It always says it's on the 3rd floor no matter where it really is. When you get in it always says you're on the 13th floor or going to the 13th floor...and strangely we only have 4 floors and a roof! So is that Lucky 13...like the guitar pick's or Unlucky 13 like with superstion??

The parking lot in the mornings. More than trees being pulled up and disrupted, our parking lot is flooded everymore, with water pooling up from the sprinklers. Maybe they are stopped up from the stilt, but what the heck is the matter with the timers...the water is still pumping out in the mornings, not spraying, pumping like a cut artery. Weird.

Driving home, I realize the farmers have probably lost millions of dollars in the valley. Cotton lies on the ground like wet popcorn. What cotton is still on the bush is dangling like wet hankies. Not exactly the fluffy cotton I'm used to seeing.

Roof's covered with bright blue tarps.

Ditches full of stacks of tree limbs.

People helping people....now that's not only weird...it's surreal!

Thoughts

"A day in the Life of Dan" a movie with that Steve guy that played in the "40 year Old Virgin". Wow. I didn't expect much...got comedy, and laughs, and tears...and Wow...I just didn't expect to enjoy the movie so much it was great.

Last week while we were preparing to go to Corpus Christi, I was checking the Local paper for stuff to do..and I did what I usually do and went to Obits...after all, I know a lot of people working in that area, and lived there for over two years. Shock, Shock, Shock....my ex...the drunk, druggie, stalker extradnair...my nightmare...my "look over your shoulder at all times", the reason for the scar on my face...the reason I cannot ever trust a man totally,.... well his luck ran out. What do you feel when somebody you thought you loved, somebody who made you feel so deeply, fear so deeply, and changed the way you felt about everything...forever...is gone.

Relief. Number one, to my shame, I felt relief. Relief from the fear of him finding me. Relief from my past sins, relief from the pain that never went away. Now when I look in the mirror and see the scar, maybe I won't see a man saying "It's Ok, no one will ever notice, after all you are getting wrinkles, it will just fade into the wrinkles and no one will ever know. After all, you KNOW I love you". Well after finally getting off the Merry-go-round and fleeing..first to my Son's (well, guess what...not a surprise...he found me), then to an agency job (guess what, found me again...thank you MSN for keeping my privacy), then landing in a South Texas town where I knew no body with 67 cents in my pocket and a new job, with 2 weeks to payday (sorry Abby, my poor pup who had to eat can beans with me).

Well guess what, he found me again. When my wrist was sprained from him twisting the phone out of my hand because I was calling 911...he took off with my truck keys, my debit card, all my cash, and my credentials that I had to have for my job. The cops picked him up...and wanted to release him...because, after all he was just drunk...and couldn't he just stay with me until he sobered up. "Well, Hell No Officer, He is not my husband, I am not married to him, and he assualted me"...well all that meant nothing in this county, after all that is a common problem in the hispanic community...just same-oh-same-o. The only reason that arrested him "Officer, as I understand it, interferring with a 911 call is illegal, actually a felony?". Well Ms. Gingerjar, please explain how he interferred...Well he forced his way into my apartment and placed my wireless phone in the commode, then he bent my hand backwards (at that time I did not realize I had a real injury), breaking my cell phone....I screamed for somebody just pulling up in the parking lot to call 911. Well, Ms. Gingerjar, were you in fact trying to call 911 at the time of the incident.... Mr. Officer, if you will look at my face where I was struck and my flip phone which is lying in two pieces you could notice I was not wanting him here. Well Ms. Gingerjar...is there anything else you would like to add??? Yes, Mr. Officer, I have a disc with copies of phones where he beat the hell out of me...which is why I moved to this fine town in the middle of nowhere, and JUST HOW DO YOU THINK I ...A PLAIN OLD CITIZEN KNOWS THAT IT IS A FELONY TO INTERFER WITH A 911 CALL???" So Ms. Gingerjar, you are saying you wish him to be arrested and you will press charges. Yes, Mr. Officer, where do I sign???

The next day he was released on bond (without me being notified) and he caught a bus back to Corpus. I kept calling the arresting officer and was told I didn't have to do anything, since I was assaulted, the DA would automatically pick up the case, I did not have to call, go to court, or be involved (in other words...leaves us the fuck alone and quite calling). Guess what, THE JUDGE dropped the case. He did not have to appear in court. NO BODY asked me about the harm done to me. He was not my husband, he was not my boyfriend. Because we had "co-habitated" I had no rights. If he had been a stranger and assaulted me he would have went to jail, because I "knew" him...I had no rights. I felt that the system had raped me...more than he had...raped me and beaten me down. I was afraid to even go to see my son, or my grandson, I went no where. I stayed home, with my phones off and my cell off...with him calling the apartment complex office up to 50 times a day demanding that I call him back, filling my cell phone voice mail with all the calls it would hold, I couldn't even turn it on. The man was bipolar...He would threaten me "I'll kill you, no body will do anything, they know I have papers, I'll kill you and throw you in the lake or the river...NO BODY CARES. The cops and the legal system proved to me he was right, I had no rights... I was just a woman. Defenseless. Useless. Piece of trash. A throw-a-way babe.

So now he is dead. Roll over accident, drunk driving (go figure) and what do I feel? Sad. His mother has lost two children in two years, both alcohol related. Me. Elated, guilty as charged, not "glad he is dead", but glad that he can no longer ... ever....ever...ever hurt me again. My nightmare is gone.

How may other women live with the nightmare? I don't know, but for me the storm is over and the grass smells freshest after the rain.

Please, Please, Please

Please, somebody, quick, tell me why an 18 year old would be dumb enough to smoke Crack laced MJ...why??? Don't kids know that they can get a heart attack, even if they've never had a history...young and stupidity...yup they go together! Had a patient, we'll call him Joe for HIPPA purposes. His cuz didn't want to "smoke" alone and talked the kid into helping him out with his weed. Granted Joe, who loves to smoke MJ, has not been smoking as much lately...why??? Who knows, lack of a source, lack of money, whatever the reason...he was laying off. Then here his Cuz shows...and he gets more than he bargained for....severe chest pain. I ask him "Joe you still in school?", "Yup!", "Ya a Senior?"..."Well No....", "Well What grade Are you in"....He sheepishly looks at the Floor..."Well I'm doing the 10th for the 3rd time....I'm a Sophomore". The MOM in me wanted to kick in and say, "DUMBASS...THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SMOKE DOPE" . Well guess you could say he has said good-bye to ambition, hello to addiction.

Left a boat-load of literature on Cocaine, crack, smoking cessation, substance abuse and the like at his bedside, and referred him to Casemanagement for possible follow-up counseling. That's it, that's about all we offer.

At least the crazy lady in bed 3 quit screaming at me long enough to go home.... *hand-springs* in the hallway!

Nighty night. Gotta go to bed now.

Newby Nurse forever does it Again

Well, I guess me watching over one of her patient's all night long wasn't enough. I told her you couldn't give blood with a 24 g needle, and I reminded her to check the IV BEFORE obtaining the blood from the lab...she pooh-poohed me with...it has NS going at 100 in it, it's fine, I'm using it. Checked blood at the bedside, she pulls back the sheet and low and behold the IV is out and the NS is flowing all right...right into the bed....oh my gosh...whatever will I do....WILL YOU PLEASE START ME ANOTHER IV? I actually turned in disgust...and said..."Sorry, you'll have to get the Charge Nurse for that, I'm too busy (after all I had a new IV to start in one of my own rooms!). She was shocked, I didn't do it for her, I didn't start the IV or the blood, or do her medication records or ......you get the drift.

Got an admit last night, 95 yr old gal, full of grit and vinegar I tell ya. She's a cutie. I really hope she is better by this evening as she was very sick this morning. No complaints from her. I did have a patient that was yelling at me when I came in the door, mad because I didn't speak Spanish, I got somebody to translate and calm him down...this morning he was speaking PERFECT English!!!! Like why the heck did I have to take an ass chewing...when he understood me PERFECTLY???

WEll to bed I go...I actually had a decent night as you can see, it is 8:30 and I am home again!

Another Day...and back to work

My last day at work (Sunday night) wasn't too bad. Got relieved by a nurse from a sister hospital that had traveled from Arizona as a volunteer to do some relief work. The valley unsually has slow summer season. We don't have extra workers in the summer, but always have travel nurses to help in the winter when we are busy...winter Texans and all. Well since the big OTHER hospital had so many window's blown out...they have almost a whole floor (over 21 rooms) that are out of commission, and they have been on diversion for two weeks now, we have been getting all the overflow. I am not complaining, since that means I'm not getting cancelled and not having to use over-time to tide me over so my pay is level. It just seems like the patient's we've been getting have been really really sick...and "heavy". My "new" nurse was complaining (again) that her patient load was too heavy and I actually should have gotten that assignment...since I was more experienced than her (whine whine whine) I offered to exchange...give her my one day Post-CABG with 3 chest tubes and a PCA, my two day Post-amputee with a PCA, my patient getting two units of blood that night (on my shift), my Confused patient (with no sitter) and my new hemodialysis patient who had a severely low BP.....well after about two heartbeats of thinking about it she realized she actually had gotten the lighter patient load.....very stable patient's with one patient a DNR....what was she really complaining about???? She just has a lot of insecurity and doesn't trust her own judgement. If she would just start relaxing...she knows what she is suppose to do...but she stresses herself and everybody around her because she just has no confidence....too bad it doesn't come in a tonic...I'd give it to her.

Dolly: The aftermath!

Well for us, the damage was moderate...mostly roof. Others' not so lucky. The storm drains overflowed in town and peoples homes have 3-4 feet of water in them. Other places have better drainage than here. Here, there is a levy system for the Rio Grande, but most places have built up small earthen levies around the outsides of their property to hold water in...because it is so dry, when you water you don't want it to run out and into the ditches, well this system has worked against us with the torrent of rain. Water stood in yards for days...allowing the mosquitos to breed and hatch. Hords of mosquitoes..black...clouds of mosquitoes, immune it seems to every spray known to man. Hundreds at the door waiting for a meal to come out. Hundreds swarm into the vehicle when the door opens. Hundreds swarm onto you when you get out. "Off" is our friend...which is only a deterrant!

The adjuster is here...still measuring and computing damage...and we..we were lucky. We didn't lose any food due to being able to use a generator most of the time (and planning, I filled every empty space with water bottles full of frozen water (solid water stays frozen longer than crushed ice) and had 40 pounds of bagged ice in the freezer to keep it cold! The roof and underpinning are our main concerns. The roof...before it rains again...needs to be totally replaced, and the underpinning needs back on to decrease our energy consumption and allow the house to be really cool again. But, we know angels were watching over us. It could have been much worse.

Goodbye Dolly

Thanks to all who were concerned with our well-being during the recent storm. I would like to comment back, but having difficulty with the internet, as well as the satellite since the storm. Today (31/2 days post-dolly) is the 1st day with power. 5pm, and the power came back on....ice...wow! You don't know what you have until it is gone. When you are sitting in Cat II hurricane with the wind blowing the rain sideways at 100 mph, you realize how little and insignificant you are. Walls shaking, wind screaming, you feel so fragile. Human beings are only flesh and blood, and easily injured. I was terrified...almost psycotically so...I've always been afraid of storms. I've survived tornadoes and thunderstorms...but this was something else. Shingles flying, windows flexing...self flushing tolits (something to do with the atmospheric pressure outside being lower than inside or something technical like that...plain weird if you ask me.)

My hospital...being so kind and caring...sent the surgery coordinator out into the hurricane (6 hours after a very slow-moving landfall) to fetch me for work .... so out into the hurricane I wade...with knee boots, and the water was only two inches below the top of the boots. Then I had the scariest , white knuckled ride of my life, creeping along at about 10-15 mph with water up to the doors, trees in the road, power lines down, driving in the ditches...got to the resoaca (small lake) and there was road construction...and the barrels had all washed away, and you couldn't tell which part was the road and which part was going into the water....Got to work...no power except emergency generator. No air-conditioning...just a few box fans...floors sweating (you know how they wax them) within 5 minutes I was soaked to the skin with sweat...not a very pleasant feeling. The first patient began immediately cursing ME because it was HOT and I should FIX it. I sweetly pointed out we were in the middle of a hurricane...and was promptly informed a little wind was nothing...and I was to fetch coffee...of course we didn't have any coffee...because a coffee pot is not considered emergency equipment and does not rate a RED EMERGENCY plug...so there was no coffee. I was then informed by this patient that I was to get my ASS out of his room and GO TO THE CIRCLE K and get him some DAMNED COFFEE!!!!! Hummmmmmmmmmm....and just how was I suppose to accomplish that...on foot...in a hurricane...with objects flying around in the air?????? I made him some instant coffee with hot tap water from my stash in my locker...which he REFUSED to drink after I went to all the trouble. Later a corrections officer who was having to sit with an inmate asked for coffee and I offered him the same thing...and he and his partner were very grateful...and very appreciative. At least somebody thought I was doing something right!. We lost part of the roof on the 4th floor and patients had to be moved to third and second....so we had a mix of med/surg and telemetry/PCCU patients. I kept moving fans around trying to keep my patients as comfortable as possible...but it was really really really miserable.

Today...I have power. The air-c0nditioner is cranking and the humidity is coming down in the house. Life is good.