Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Giggle Box Turn Over

When I was little I spent a lot of time at my Aunt Corabell's with my cousin Jimbo. We would giggle and tell secrets all night. My Aunt would knock on the door and tell us "hush up in there and go to sleep" and Jimbo would always answer "I can't Ginger knocked my gigglebox over!" That would set us off into another gale of laughter! I miss those days.

Well recently I had two incidents that knocked my gigglebox over. I actually woke up thinking about them and now I have to blog or I'll never get back to sleep.

Two weeks ago R had a patient that was in the middle group. I had A side, so I knew nothing about her patients. Half of her call bells ring at my station, and half of the call bells ring at the other station, so if she is on the other side, we answer the call bells. Well, one of her call bells was going off and I couldn't find the aide so I went to see what the lady needed. Well her daughter tells me she needs pulled up.

Now here a little physical description can go a long way: She was like 4 foot tall and really really round. She had very large bosom's and a double chin. I'm looking at her and thinking "Man, no way can I handle this alone." I go looking for reinforcements.

Everybody is busy. P is prepping a patient for surgery. I can't ask her to leave this man naked except for a towel and half his body hair in a cold room. R is in another patient room with a patient who is going south in a hurry and obviously she can't come. I go back to the room and tell the daughter it will be a little bit because everybody is busy. The daughter gets pissed at me and offers to help. I instruct her how to do it without hurting herself, and she's not really listening to me, so we get the pull pad and 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Nothing...this ladies butt is literally glued to the bed. Again, 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Nothing. I'm thinking "Damn...what the heck". I put her in reverse trendlenburg , "OK Honey, we've got to stand you on your head and let gravity help us out a little here." 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!!! Well she moves like 3 inches...and mind you, she was already all the way to the foot of the bed. Ok, I think, this really is not working. I put her back down flat and go and get another aide from the other side.

On the way to the room, I explain the problem. We get in the room and I put the patient back in trendlenburg and M gets on the other side. 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Ok, that daughter must have really been a wimp! Granny goes flying to the top of the bed, pillow behind the top of her head, up against the head of the bed, face between her massive breasts with the funniest look I've ever seen on a person's face. I look at her, I look at M and *choke* *cough*. "Oh my God miss, you've got head crunch here", I state as I straighten out the pillow and put the bed back up. M looks at Granny and *snort* lips twitch...she looked at me...I look at Granny who is trying to rearrange her neck rolls and bosom's and I literally lost it. I had to run out into the hallway. I was giggling and my mascara was running. My gigglebox turned over...I had to go into the doctor's dictation room because I was howling with laughter...and I could NOT stop. Co-workers were looking at me like I was deranged. GIGGLEBOX turnover I would snort and start laughing again. I laughed a full thirty minutes. I think stress had just caught up with me, I sure let it all rip! When it was all over I had no makeup left. I had to go to the bathroom to repair the damage. It was freaking hilarious!

Then last week I was taking care of a tubed patient and she had an air leak in the endotracheal tube. When the tube leaks the patient makes this funny gurgle sound that they should not be able to make. So the other nurse training me tells me to call respiratory and tell them the tube is leaking. I'm like, well can't we just add 1/2 cc of air until they get here? So we problem.

I go to the phone, I phone respiratory and I'm telling F about it. Now we got this nurse that is from Kentucky working with us...her and I hold the trophy for hillbilly talking. No body seems to be able to understand us sometimes. So I'm telling F (who is Hispanic) about the cuff leak, and he doesn't understand I repeat it...only the second time instead of cuff leak I say:

"The lady in Bed 7 has a cuff link in her ET tube". I realize what I said and I start laughing. I try to recover....I look to my right and M is rolling around in her chair snickering, I look at Ms. Kentucky and she is literally rolling her eyes and laughing...."uh, guess ya'll heard that huh?". F is still on the phone...and he's like" what, what, how did she get a cuff link in there?" I'm like...."no, no, damn it , you know what I meant!".

Well, they are still teasing me about the "cuff link"...hey...Gingerjar...was that Gold or Silver Cuff Link that lady had in her ET Tube????

Giggle Box Turn Over...God...I love my job!


Sue said...

Head scrunch. I was laughing too!

Reddirt Woman said...

That is too funny. I haven't decided if it's a plus or a minus, but I have a very visual imagination and I could just see the whole scenario. And miss daughter was really just acting to make you try to move the 'jellyroll' by yourself. I was glad that I wasn't drinking anything when I read your post today. My gigglebox is now on for the day.



Aleta said...

LMAO - thanks, I needed to laugh out loud in the middle of an office of people! These are hilarious stories. Loved it!!

Debbie Y. said...

Her butt was glued to the bed had me laughing and then you said you head scrunched her, I wouldn't have been able to control my laughter either.

I hate it when I say the wrong thing and it makes everybody laugh at me, but what can you do. If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at?

Thanks for the stories.