Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Spring Break is in the Air

Here, near Padre Island, spring is here...how do I know? I see College Kids everywhere...on tv, in cars...and how the hell is it that all those girls can find fantastic bikini's and fit and jiggle in them everywhere???? Did I get old? It was just a day or two ago, I was the chick in the teeny tiny swim-suit, basking in the sun. Now I look for a little more adequate coverage and cover all my exposed skin with sun-screen.

Did I grow up, or just get old? Hummmm, maybe it was that damned AARP card I got in the mail today, makes me want to run naked down the beach yelling "NOOOOO I'M NOT OLD!!!", but that might get me locked up for insanity, they probably wouldn't buy the "Early Onset Dementia" excuse. Dave thought the mail run was excessively funny today, as I have been teasing him for years about receiving the AARP offers in the mail. I think he secretly contacted those damned people and put my address on their database. Bummer. He better look out, I see more roses in my future.

Last week I had to return two bras to Victoria Secret that didn't fit. The salesgirl conned me into letting her measure me...then proceeded to show me the ugliest bras I had ever seen, I wound up taking two of them just to shut her up. I asked to see something more stylish, and got one with lace on it....what the hell, I'm barely over 50 for God's sake...I am not ready for 18 hour comfort yet! Then to cheer myself up following the Victoria Secret depression causing incident, I headed over to the local nail spa to get my feet done. The nail tech, who was Vietnamese and barely spoke any English kept trying to talk me into additional services. I finally decided, OK, wax the upper lip. So into the inner salon room we go. She carefully spreads hot wax on one side of the mustache area....RIP...she looks at the used wax strip and says "WOW"....omg, NOT 'WOW'. Humm, "lady, do you want me to do the chin?"....now she is looking at my face closely, and I think, "Oh, holy hell, now I have a beard????", "Yes" do my chin....she proceeds to spread hot wax from EAR TO EAR....RIP.....needless to say, it was horribly painful, and now the skin on my chin is all irritated. I felt like the OLD BEARDED LADY from a circus....

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo, my darling husband, felt sorry for me and brought me a dozen Pink Roses with Lilies to work to cheer me up. My coworkers all thought he was apologizing for something. So I had to tell the Victoria Secret, ugly bra's, waxed lip, "Wow" story...and somehow, by the time I get to "WOW", it's not depressing anymore, but actually funny as hell.

So, I think I am ready to hit the beach, in a modest swimsuit, for spring break, with my newly waxed face and new AARP card.