Thursday, January 29, 2009

10 honest things.

Nogging Blogging nominated me for an award...I am so honored. I think the rules are that you have to tell 10 honest things about yourself then nominate 7 more people.

1. I am so uninformed that I do not know how to pick up an award or post it on my page.

2. I truely and honestly love my hubby with all my heart.

3. I hate to clean closets...even when forced.

4. My worst Christmas was when I was 13 and my step-father CLYDE made us clean closets after we opened our Christmas presents. I remember crying the whole time. It was absolute torture!

5. Three people who have died I did not cry for...and maybe even deep in my heart I was a little glad they were gone and couldn't hurt anybody else. One died of old age, one died because he was murdered (couldn't have happened to a better person) and one I blogged about died in a one-man roll over alcohol induced accident.

6. I love vanilla ice frills.

7. I love my two boys totally.

8. I love being a nurse...although sometimes I burn out and want to veg at home.

9. I have a love / hate relationship with my mother...and have to BITE my tongue every time I talk to her (and chant in my head...remember she is old and humor her...remember she is in Kentucky and can't control you...remember that she is old and humor her..)

10. I love wearing bikini's even though God knows I'm 50 lbs too heavy and 25 years too old to do so. Thank God for backyards!

Now I nominate for the "Scrape Award" the heck do you insert blog-sites in here?????

Head Nurse
Thoughts from the Nightshift
Red Dirt Woman
Wonderful World of Weiners
Blender Kimmy

darn, I cannot remember anybody else right now.

Follow-up and other Stuff....

I went back to see the doctor yesterday, and the ta-ta's pic's are fine. The problem I was having (Pain, swelling and tenderness) resolved mysteriously after the ta-ta's were in the vise-grip of the x-ray machine...which was a very puzzling thing...maybe a lymph node was all jacked up or something. The doctor is clueless as am I. So, today I get to go and have some bloodwork done to check homone levels and stuff. Hopefully this problem will stay resolved.

When I was a child I had an injury to my left breast (I was 11). I was helping my grandma draw water from the cistren (we didn't have running water). We didn't have an actual well cover, but there were boards that were placed over the well to keep the cats from falling in (we had one cat named Leo that fell in and drowned causing grandpa to have to drain the well (by hand) and clean the well (accomplished by my uncle lowering him down into the 30-50 foot depth with a pully and rope. I remember that well, because I watched it all happen. My grandma was afraid that grandpa would get stuck in the well (rope break or something)...or have a heart attack and we wouldn't be able to get him out...but it all turned out fine. We never used the cistren water for was bathing and clothes washing water only, all our drinking water was hauled from town in the old 5 gallon milk cans.

Anyway, back to the story. I was 11 and I was drawing water from the cistren/well. The boards were turned over so I could get the bucket out. When I leaned across to pick the bucket up off of the pully, there was a rusty nail sticking up out of the board (that I didn't see or know was there) and I leaned across it puncturing my nipple. I just remember it was horribly painful...and I was so embarrassed and I didn't tell anybody. I just sat down until the pain went away and I was able to breath again! I didn't know it at the time, but I formed a blood clot in that part of my anatomy. Several years later I had to go to the doctor because the blood clot broke loose and I had mastitis at the grand old age of 16, then again at age 17. My mother was madder than hell that I had hidden this injury from her. The mastitis was bad enough the doctor almost put me in the hospital to put me on IV antibotics. Then when I had my kids I nursed my second child and I had two or three severe bouts of mastitis on the same side that had to be treated with oral antibotics. So I was righously concerned when I suddenly started having a problem (again) with no precipitating factors. It is rather unusual for a woman of my age (past child-bearing age) who's had a hysterectomy, to have this type of problem...because face it...these ta-ta's arn't producing anything! I'm a nurse...and I was too embarrassed to take it to the doctor until I couldn't stand it anymore...I first blamed it on starting to work out at the gym and quit all upper body still did not clear up. Then I thought maybe I really needed to get it checked out because I have been on estrogen therapy for 9 years...and that is a factor sometimes in tumor developement. I read and studied up on the internet as you can tell...LOL. Right now, the problem has resolved, mostly, but the doctor wants to do some follow-up bloodwork, which I will be submitting my precious blood for today.

Oh, and have you ever noticed that when there is a part of your body that is in pain...everything either bumps it or hurts it. The dogs want to stand with their feet ... where??? On your chest...most particularly on the sore side. Patient "accidently" punches you...not once...but twice while you are trying to start an IV ...where???? You got the sore ta-ta. Ring the bell Mike Tyson...I'm going in for round three. I managed two months of pain with my friend "Alieve" before I gave in and went for the *painful* mamogram. If I had know it would *help* and relieved the problem I wouldn't have waited so long. So Girl-Friends....don't put off the exam's...just do it and get it over with!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Beautiful Day to Be alive

OK, so I am feeling optimistic today, very optimistic. I went yesterday to get the ta-ta's squished...and a cold read showed "normal". This made me very relieved as I've been having a problem for a couple of months now...and just finally gave in to going to the doctor. I have to go back next week. Maybe the fix will be something as simple as a hormone adjustment. You know us women, we think of the worst possible scenario's when anything is going wrong. I had decided if there was any cutting to be done I would op for that procedure where they pull the tummy up and use your own fat for reconstruction. Then if I had to have any medicine that would make my hair fall out I wanted to cut my hair and have a wig made out of it. Yes, I flew all up and down the scale of absurbity. So, here I sit .... optimistic and relieved.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Blazing Oven of Fury

Ok, maybe not a blazing oven of fury...but certainly a blazing oven....a really blazing that was on fire so bad, I dare not use it to cook on (all the insulation burned out of the top and I'm not sure what it may have done to the electrical wires). I wanted a new oven. Yes, we can even say, I lusted for a new oven...but I *did not* intentionally touch that oven with the intent to commit oven murder. Actually, Dave and I had been out and had a few beers (the beginning of poor judgement), I decided to toast some pecans for a *healthy* snack to go with the few beers we had at the house. Then I made two mistakes (on top of drinking beer and attempting to use an appliance). I placed the pan too close to the top element and I *forgot* to set the timer.

We are sitting there watching my taped "American Idol" and listening to the good, the bad and the ugly....when Miss Abigail's nose goes into the air. Then Miss Izzadora's nose goes up and she begins shaking all over. We look up, and there is smoke literally boiling out of the oven. We run into the kitchen and the pecans are blazing. I made the common error of opening the oven door (never do allows oxygen in...and do you know what oxygen does to a fire???). Licks of flame roared out of the oven and up to the stove top (I was SHOCKED). DAVE (enter the big strapping man on a white horse!) slams the door closed, turns off the electricity, pulls the stove out from the wall and unplugs it. By now the entire house is filled with horrible smelling smoke. To my complete amazement...although the smoke was making us cough and choke...none of our smoke detectors went off. Dave checked the batteries in the smoke detector's...and the battery's were fine and the smoke detector's tested normally....but with the dense smoke...they still did not go off.

Today we went and chose a new stove. Dave went with Gas since he does most of the thought was..."he trust's me with gas????" Tomarro I am gonna look into replacing those worthless smoke detectors.

Update on my friend *L*: She has been extubated but is still *not there*. I appreciate the comments from my friends. I am trying to not let it get me down. I am going to visit her tomarro after I attend a mandatory class.

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Tribute To a Friend

For my friend *L*

She lies silent in her hospital bed,
her brilliant blue eyes are closed.
A machine breaths in and out for her,
She cannot even wiggle her toes.

Lights are dimmed, voices hushed
and wires run to and fro.
Every two hours shes positioned and turned
She remains silent and can't even moan.

The New Year started with such promise,
what was in her mind we'll never know.
Her Husband went partying without her
came home to find her lying still and cold.

Now why she was in such despair
her friends and kids can only speculate,
for she left not a letter, an email, a note
when she decided to self medicate.

Could it have been a horrible accident?
Could a word from me changed her fate?
Could I have done something to stop her?
If I'd only talked to her that last day?

For you see, in retrospect thinking
for hindsight is 20/20 they suggest.
I'd noticed some bruises on her face
and decided to mind my own business.

Knowing now what I didn't know then,
I am weighed down in remorse.
If I'd pulled her aside and spoken,
Could my words have altered her course?

So she lies silent in her hospital bed
Her brilliant blue eyes are shut
and her friends, co-workers and kids
We never knew we'd miss her this much.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Day In the Sun

If anybody is reading...that like my mom is in Kentucky with white stuff falling around their your heart I laid out in my back-yard in my bekini and actually got sun-burned...with 15spf sunscreen on. God I love being so close to the equator. Now, if I just had another extra day off I could have had a little drink with an umbrella in my hand! Non-the-less my winter blah's are much better (notice I didn't even blog for almost two weeks?).

Sunny, hot today...but windy and cloudy tomorrow when I will be officially off. Glad I got to soak up some natural antidepressant!

Extra Day Off...

Well, I was put on call tonight. That was good right, except, exactly like last time, it was a night we were all bringing a special dinner for one of our Traveler's that is leaving and tonight was her last night. I had already prepared my food, had it heating in the crockpot. I had already loaded the promised doggie kennel (for her kitten to travel in) and was just about ready to go. So I killed time until about 10:15 , then I headed off to the hospital with my food in tow. We actually had a very good feast...and visit.

The only bad thing was that I asked about my patient I was taking care of in ICU the last day I worked. I had left after hanging blood for her that morning (Jan. 5...Monday Morning). I noticed that her room was empty and thought she had probably moved out and downgraded, because except for being anemic she was actually looking somewhat better. Imagine my shock when I found out that she had another gastric bleed (or her clips popped off, or she had another ulcer that ruptured), and that she actually coded and died. The traveler that is leaving was taking care of her that night. She had already called the doc that she didn't look good, and he was actually back on his way in and a team had been called to re-scope her, but she coded before they got there. I'm sad. She was a sweet little old granny, who had kept me pretty busy all night, so time really flew. We had bathed her and used my lavendar baby powder stash on her, and she was so appreciative of smelling good. Somebody who loved her had painted her fingernails and toenails bright pink. She had tattooed eyeliner and eybrows. I bet she was one hot chick in the day. It makes me sad to think of her life chapter ending.