Wednesday, May 20, 2009


My step-son, daughter-in-law and two grandchildren are coming to visit from North Carolina. I have never met them. I am so excited that they are coming to visit. Excitement...tempered with caution. The visit has turned into them coming to live with us while they look for jobs in this area. My step-son D was recently laid off from his part-time job. His wife A still works part-time at Home Depot.

They both worked part-time so that they did not have to hire child-care for their 9 year old and 11 month old. They choose to do this for several reasons: one is the savings financially and the other is so they can have a closer bonding/parenting experience with their children. I really commend them for this. A is unable to pick up an extended hours...and they are not able to survive with only 1/2 of a paycheck coming in. They do not want to move in with D's mom, they have lived with her before. His mom uses illegal drugs and her husband is an alcoholic. This makes living together difficult at best. They do not want to move in with A's mom for basically the same reasons, except A's mom and step-dad are addicted to prescription drugs and they stayed there for one month while they were looking for jobs previously, and it was very chaotic.

We do want to help the kids, but we feel like it will have to be with rules. We feel like if they move here we need to limit how long they can live with us...that way they will feel pressured to actually get out and work at finding a job. (I had an ex-sister-in-law live with me for two years while she was "finding" a job. She wasn't even registered at the Texas Workforce when I took her in to "check-in" two years later. I kicked her out .... she had a job in a week!). We want them to have incentive's to better themselves.

Here the economy is still fairly long as you don't want to buy a car or a house! I think we could help them find somewhere to rent reasonably though a net-work of friends and family. If they stayed here two months and worked a least one month...saving their money...they should be able to find someplace to rent, and have enough to pay their utilities. We may have to help financially because of all the deposits needed for utilities and such, but I know we can swing it.

I am just a little worried, because I don't know if our personalities will clash, having never met them. Also there will be two little ones to help take care of and feed. That does put a little pressure on me, as I am the one who works shift work. Dave is disabled, and D has not seen his dad since before his accident. I don't think he realizes his dad cannot do everything and be everything like he was before his wreck. Also, I have been having my hours cut just about every pay-period...and that hurts financially. I also know that they don't have any savings, and if they move here we will have to finance the move...gas, truck, food...and that will eat up our savings.'s a two edged sword.

So, I commit my problems to prayers. I'll let God sort it out. What is to be will be. I will just be....."Super to heft small children with a single cape flowing behind me...home-made pan of cookies held on high!"


Debbie Y. said...

That is worrisome but awesome in the same context. Super Granny you will be no doubt. God will work everything out. I think the restrictions/incentives will help get the kids working and they will be closer to you so you can get to know them better.

bARE-eYED sUN said...

hoo-boy! :-(

sorta like watchin' a slo-mo train wreck. :-)