Gingerjar

Crazy Day

2011-12-28T08:42:00.000-08:00

You know the day is gonna go to crap when it starts out with a rat in the room. Yesterday as I sat here at my computer doing Facebook, the dogs went crazy and there was a flash of a HUGE rat butt, scurrying under the bed, then a flash, under the cabinets, then a flash...oh yeah that was me jumping onto the guest bed. I squealed and screamed and banished a forgotten length of door trim like a sword, but my hero, Super Dave, slept on through it all in the other bedroom. Abby and Izzy, chased and growled to no avail, the rodent got away somehow.

The rest of the day did not improve. Patient load was horrendous, just a really busy group of really sick people. Personally I managed to prick my finger with a sterile needle, run into a wall and cut my elbow on the dry erase board, fell over a dynamap breaking it and hurting my leg....and last but not least to add insult to injury I put my hand in my pocket and my bandage scissors had come open, lacerating my finger.

The cure for all this craziness and bouncing off the wall (literally...hahaha), Dave had me a hot bath and a glass (not shot) of Tequila Rose! He may not have saved me from the rat today...but he did indeed save me! My Hero!!!!

MEN!!!

2011-12-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

WHAT, IS IT A CRIME TO SLEEP. Anytime we are watching a movie and I nod off...and yes...I have been prone to nod off during any kind of film for the last 30 years, just ask my kids...my husband acts like it is a crime. He is gets pissed off if I cannot quote the last few sentences the characters on the PRETEND life have been saying...WHO THE FUCK CARES....I AM DOZING...IT ISN'T A CRIME~! Get a life......

Me and My Mutts.

2011-11-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

Dave and I traveled with friends to Texas Hill Country. We rode our Motorcycles on the Three Twisted Sisters...my most challenging ride yet. It rained all night Friday night and we woke to the welcome sound of water running over rocks in the Frio river, right in front of our cabin. Here is a picture of me and the dogs later that evening hangin out on the porch. The temperature had dropped to the 30's and my Valley Dog's were freezing!

What Happened....did I die???

2011-11-11T05:45:00.000-08:00

It looks like riding a Motorcycle... and addiction to FaceBook really can cause death. Apparently death of my blog that is...since I haven't blogged since like March of this year. I spend a lot of time on FaceBook, until today, when it appeared my account was phished. I was forced to reset my password, and now I am locked in password hell, the sign on takes me to reset password, which takes me to sign on, which takes me to reset password...et nauseum. I cannot actually get on my account to check my friend and family posts, it is driving me crazy!!!! Literally crazy!!!

Ok, so today I am up at the butt-crack of dawn, it is an amazing 37 degrees outside, and it is 90 in our bedroom. My hubby is cooking me one brain cell at a time...I woke up with a raging headache and have been hanging out in the cool, unheated side of the house for hours. Now I am cold...my free are frozen. To alieve my discomfort I have been hunting for socks to no avail. I finally found the solution....work gloves. So I sit here in front of my computer wearing yellow gloves on my feet, looks a bit like a duck...wondering if my hubby will find me frozen and think I have gone off my rocker?

Back to : Motorcycles: I have graduated from my Honda 1300 VTX to my new love: Harley Road King Classic. I am addicted. I even rode in 52 degree weather (with wind chill I was definitely chill). My new bike has cruise control, which is great for my weak wrist and power....dang....I catch myself hitting 80 when I think I am going 60. Loud pipes.....the coolness factor (not many women can handle this size of a bike), braids flying behind me....life is good.

Spring Break is in the Air

2011-03-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

Here, near Padre Island, spring is here...how do I know? I see College Kids everywhere...on tv, in cars...and how the hell is it that all those girls can find fantastic bikini's and fit and jiggle in them everywhere???? Did I get old? It was just a day or two ago, I was the chick in the teeny tiny swim-suit, basking in the sun. Now I look for a little more adequate coverage and cover all my exposed skin with sun-screen.

Did I grow up, or just get old? Hummmm, maybe it was that damned AARP card I got in the mail today, makes me want to run naked down the beach yelling "NOOOOO I'M NOT OLD!!!", but that might get me locked up for insanity, they probably wouldn't buy the "Early Onset Dementia" excuse. Dave thought the mail run was excessively funny today, as I have been teasing him for years about receiving the AARP offers in the mail. I think he secretly contacted those damned people and put my address on their database. Bummer. He better look out, I see more roses in my future.

Last week I had to return two bras to Victoria Secret that didn't fit. The salesgirl conned me into letting her measure me...then proceeded to show me the ugliest bras I had ever seen, I wound up taking two of them just to shut her up. I asked to see something more stylish, and got one with lace on it....what the hell, I'm barely over 50 for God's sake...I am not ready for 18 hour comfort yet! Then to cheer myself up following the Victoria Secret depression causing incident, I headed over to the local nail spa to get my feet done. The nail tech, who was Vietnamese and barely spoke any English kept trying to talk me into additional services. I finally decided, OK, wax the upper lip. So into the inner salon room we go. She carefully spreads hot wax on one side of the mustache area....RIP...she looks at the used wax strip and says "WOW"....omg, NOT 'WOW'. Humm, "lady, do you want me to do the chin?"....now she is looking at my face closely, and I think, "Oh, holy hell, now I have a beard????", "Yes" do my chin....she proceeds to spread hot wax from EAR TO EAR....RIP.....needless to say, it was horribly painful, and now the skin on my chin is all irritated. I felt like the OLD BEARDED LADY from a circus....

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo, my darling husband, felt sorry for me and brought me a dozen Pink Roses with Lilies to work to cheer me up. My coworkers all thought he was apologizing for something. So I had to tell the Victoria Secret, ugly bra's, waxed lip, "Wow" story...and somehow, by the time I get to "WOW", it's not depressing anymore, but actually funny as hell.

So, I think I am ready to hit the beach, in a modest swimsuit, for spring break, with my newly waxed face and new AARP card.

The "Bomb"

2011-01-01T04:05:00.000-08:00

Closest thing to a bomb yesterday. Secretary was talking to the House Supervisor yesterday and stepped backwards, surgery had dropped off pt and just placed the O2 tank in the nurses station...kinda in the middle, and left. Well secretary knocked over the O2 tank which was full, thank God it only loosened the regulator (as opposed to breaking it off). We got loud, dramatic spewing O2. The House Super was a guy yesterday, and he was able to turn the tank off with his fingers (we would have been scrambling to find a wrench). If the regulator had broken off....bad news.....we were lucky. The House Super looked at how full the tank was...we had something like 2000 lbs of pressure....wow...glad it didn't turn into a missle. Scared the bejesus out of me! LOL.

Which way is the Wind Blowing?

2010-12-11T07:17:00.001-08:00

Nothing smells worse than a dead 'possum, especially if said 'possum is between the insulation and the floor of your bathroom. When the wind blows from the South (ocean direction here), the smell is unbearable, and that is the direction the wind blows most of the time. I have laid on the ground and cut the insulation cover and pulled the insulation down, but my arms, not being 6 foot long, cannot reach the area where the suspected critter met his demise. In fact, not sure if I want to. The stench has improved, but not gone yet by far. Everything in my bathroom has been pulled out of the cabinets and under the sink, we even pulled up the false bottom under the sink, nada. To make this all worse (for me at least), is that my hubby has a very weak stomach. That means that "I", being a nurse with a "strong" stomach, gets to seek out the source of the decomposing corpse. THIS IS NOT FUN. I WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE FUN...NOW.

Moral of the story: When going out of town for the weekend, and you wish to rid your home of "mice", don't put poison under your house...there may be a bigger, smellier critter lurking around.

I wonder if I could rent a hotel for the holidays? I wonder now big of "sticky" traps I can buy. Is there a product called "Corpse be-gone" or "Decomposing body Oder eater" or "Freebreeze for Decay"? I would "kill" a 'possum to get my hands on something that would eliminate the smell.

What he brought home from Vietnam

2010-12-07T05:30:00.000-08:00

Working in ICU, I seem to always be seeing and learning new things. Who would have thought I would ever take care of a patient with Tetanus (Lock-Jaw), a disease that has been pretty much eradicated in our country? Now I have cared for another patient with something I never thought I would see in my lifetime: Hansen's Disease (Leprosy). I did not even know what Hansen's Disease was, so I asked the nurse giving me report, "What the heck is that?". He had cared for the patient 12 hours without even asking that question. We googled it on our iPhones (management has taken away our internet use and we don't have any "books" on the units), and were amazed to find that Leprosy is now called Hansen's disease because so dude discovered the bactrium rods that prove the diagnosis.

Hansen's disease can be treated, but not really cured. It is simular to Tuberculosis and the medications are almost the same. Apparently there are thousands of cases here in the United States every year. The Armadillo is a carrier of the bacteria (another good reason to run from the scaly armored digging machine). Usually Leprosy is contracted in another country, a 3rd world country, where the sanitation is not good and the water is not clean. In this man's case he contracted the disease in Vietnam while serving in the military, judging from his age, it was probably his 3rd or 4th tour of duty. The article I downloaded stated that the incubation period could be up to 30 years.

This man had documented treatment at least 3 years ago. Apparently he was not following up with the VA or his family physician. He had gotten neuropathy to the point that he could no longer walk. He lived alone, his family all lived far away, and no body took care of him. No one, at all....apparently even knew what his diagnosis was or how sick he actually was....no one. With the stigma that this bibical disease has, I would venture to guess he didn't talk about it much.

Finally one of his children traveled to see him, and seeing the condition he was in decided to stay to take care of him, but his father refused to let him take him to the doctor (maybe a little dementia setting in here). The son, who had no medical training, tried to care for his father to the best of his abilities, but he was already so debilitated and covered in decubitus ulcers (bedsores) that the care he needed was beyond his skills. His father began having difficulty breathing and was brought to the hospital by ambulance.

Now he is recieving end of life care and will probably go home with hospice. I am puzzled that any ex-military, who should have been recieving military benifits and medical care, could have gotten to be in such poor condition...in this country with all the medical advances we have. I would think that there would be a Social Worker who would follow up when patient's with chronic conditions just stopped showing up for their appointments. I would think they would at least contact them by phone to be sure they were still alive. I know that patients are in part responsible for their own health, but sometimes, just one person going out of their way can make a big difference.

The physical manisfastations of this disease was horrible, the neglect of someone who served our country so nobely....criminal.

My Birthday Weekend

2010-10-14T03:46:00.000-07:00

I worked this past Saturday. I was put on call, then called in by 8 a.m. for ICU. When I saw my patient's, I had a sinking feeling in my heart. One patient was post surgical, no problem. The other, I had cared for several times over the last few months, over the course of several hospitalizations. I knew I was in for a hard day. Patient's mom is also a nurse, and is very helpful with the patient, but when the nurses kid (twenty) is sick, soooo sick....somehow, the whole family because a patient by extention.

Unfortunately I could tell this was going to be a heart wrenching day, and within hours the family finally decided to honor the patient's wishes and made her a DNR. OMG, it was so hard. The families pain was so hard to bear, as they bravely helped their loved daughter thru her last hours.

After it was all over, the mom and sisters insisted on doing after-care and saying good-bye. I gave them their privacy. I don't think I have ever been so sad at work. The secretary said she had too leave our unit because I was making her cry! I was so glad to leave work that evening.

The next day was my birthday, and I was called off, so I was able to recoop. I have prayed for this sweet girl and her family every single day since. It really makes you realize how precious this life is and how short it can be.

Ends and Pieces

2010-09-18T02:37:00.000-07:00

Today I was off and running around shopping for this and that. Seems like that is the way life has been lately...a little of this and a little of that.

Good news: My knees are much better now. I found out I have arthritis, though why it suddenly flared up to the point of hardly being able to walk is a mystery. I blame it on the on again, off again weather systems (hurricanes) since it started when tropical Storm Alex was tracking near hear. I now have pain med, vitamins and steroids and the pain is gone in the left knee. The right knee is still recovering from me dropping my 800 pound motorcycle on it on pavement. Good thing Dave was there to untrap me, since I couldn't get my leg out. Note to self: Stay off the damned front brake girl!

Good news: Looks like everything is shaping up for me to go to my 35th class reunion. Now how in the hell did I get so old? Seems like just yesterday I was trying to choose a dress to wear under my graduation gown (like anybody was gonna see it), and praying that the thunderstorm would pass so we would still be able to graduate in the football field (it did, and we did). I haven't seen my older brother in two years (fishing trip) and we graduated together. He is not going because of financial reasons (he could go with me, but we are riding motorcycles...and I don't think he would ride B*tch!). We are planning on stopping on the way back to visit him.

Good news: Work is going great in spite of the economy. Our hospital is "up for sale" so to speak, but our Med-Cath owners are still holding their own stock-wise. Our hospital did a record breaking 27 heart surgeries last month (we are the "little" heart hospital), and we have not had many cancellation or call off days, and it was still "summertime". October 1, starts our actual "busy" season, as the winter Texan's start returning to the valley. I'm already getting calls to work on my days off, and I know it will only increase. Our new travel nurses are starting to arrive, and work, and it nice getting to know some new people.

Other stuff: My son has gone back to work, almost for 3 months now, and is doing good. My other son's hand is better and he is back to work. Everybody is healthy, and we are all getting by. Dave is as usual, wonderful.

And that does it for all the little ends and pieces going on in my life. Isn't it theraputic to blog? I get to start counting my blessings!

Floating

2010-08-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well I was having a fine...semi-crappy week, when they decided to float me to 3rd. Well, I don't mind floating, but I have only floated to that floor one time in 4 years, and I'm pretty sure it was almost 4 years ago. I got report. No body bothered to tell me where the supplies were kept, or any of the forms. The regular nurse on the other side didn't even bother to tell me her name. Some of her patient's records were on my side, because she apparently had the middle group, although I'm not sure since no one bothered to explain how the patient's were split on that floor. Everybody thought that were my patient too...and I had to field family requests and doc's and phone calls for you, the unknown nurse for the unknown patient's!
I worked my ass off. Transitioning from being a cardiac nurse to doing pretty much all GI stuff (three post exploratory lap's, with two ruptured appendix with open laps, and a few other goobly gook's thrown in to confuse me) was no easy task. I literally had to think myself through everything I was doing. (What no Open Hearts...no chest tubes....no harvest sites???)

About two p.m., when I was about to drop from lack of nurishment (no breakfast, no lunch, although my assigned aide had managed to disappear for breakfast, mid-morning break, lunch, mid-afternoon break) while I earnestly medicated, did pericare, took people to the bathroom, turning and doing all the things that normally two people or at least THE ASSIGNED AIDE does, when finally the Nurse Manager walked by to ask how I was doing.....HUNGRY and about to pass out was my answer. Oh, we have two nurses assigned to float around and help, haven't they helped you??? Well one of them had informed me she was the "admission nurse" and did admission's only. The other had informed me that if I had a difficult IV, that she would try if I tried several times first. So there is all this help available, and I am drowning, because no one will even show me where to find stuff. I was literally alone at the station 90% of the day answering the phone's, call bells and taking care of my assigned patient's. I hope they never float me to that floor again!

The topping on the cake was when on of the GI doc's was rounding and asked me a question about his patient...you got it Exp. Lap, then open lap with appendectomy...and I didn't know the answer off the top of my head without looking at my paper's or the chart...he remarked " You certainly don't know you patient very well, do you?" He points out the info he needed in the chart (a lab report that had been placed by a med records tech while I was in a room)....like my remark was..."Gee, there it is...right were it belongs". Moron! My husband saw this same doc for a Colonoscopy last year...guaranteed I will never see him...he will not get one more red dime of my money....asshole. Read this people....I AM A CARDIAC NURSE...I KNOW ABOUT GI PROBLEMS, BUT I AM NOT A SURGICAL NURSE!!!!!!!!! I AM HELPING YOU PEOPLE OUT, BECAUSE YOU ARE "SHORT" STAFFED, WITH YOUR TWO FLOATING NURSES TO "HELP" OUT WHO NEVER "HELP" OUT...MAYBE IF THE PEOPLE ON THAT FLOOR DID THEIR JOBS PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO WORK WITH YOU.

OK, now I feel better.

People that Quietly touch your life.....

2010-08-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a patient will touch you, in unexpected ways. Just seconds, that become a memory, that comes to you from time to time. Last week, it was a physician, who was my patient. Going for surgery, outcome expected to be very good.

He was humble, not arrogant at all, not expecting extra perks or favors from being a V.I.P., just a very nice guy. I gave him all the info about his surgery, even though I suspect he knew more than I, because I thought having the more basic information would help to calm his family down some. I remember when I was a patient having a procedure, that although I was very familiar with what was going to be done, it is still very scary knowing you are the patient, putting yourself in other (hopefully) capable hands. The lack of control over the situation, is in itself anxiety inspiring.

While I was off, this patient went to surgery. I was expecting to already have him back on the floor as a patient, as we get post-op hearts out as early as on the first post-op day. I found out yesterday, which would have been like the 4th post op day that he had to go back for another procedure, and that his outlook was very bleak. I was shocked! I would have absolutely thought this mans outcome would be great, he looked healthy, he had a positive attitude, lots of family support, and a good surgeon.

I am in prayer for him and his family. I was very touched by this humble unassuming man, who you would never suspect was a physician.

Been out playing...not blogging :)

2010-05-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

I looked back at my blogs today, and gee it's been over a month since I wrote anything. So much has happened in that time frame. I left night shift and now I work days...not having any trouble getting up in the morning, just still working on time management skills since the day shift stuff is so different from the nights. Days is all about hussle and bussel and hurry up: Report, doctor rounds, med run, orders to take off, breakfast (for the patient's), pt's to and from tests, all that pretty much at the same time...then 11:00: doctors AGAIN, VISITORS, lunch (for the patient's), med run, whew...breath...usually by this time it is around 2 p.m. or 3 p.m., hummm I haven't eatten, drank, or urinated in 7 hours or more. I usually take a deep breath, and look for a sucker to cover the desk so I can do the three things I must do..eat, drink, and make water :). My 30 minute break is usually 15 minutes of food shoveled into my mouth, while usually having to go back out to answer family member or doctor questions. Sunday I actually got my salad dressing on my salad and had my first bite in my mouth...and had to leave for 45 minutes to round with a doctor...then a patient wanted pain meds, then somebody else stopped me...I thought I would pass out before I got back to the food. I have taken to keeping a coke in the fridge because my sugar drops so low I start getting black spots in front of my eyes! I had forgotten that about when I worked dayshift before.

The worst thing about days is that I am forced to carry a specta-link at all times...heaven forbid you actually are unable to talk, it always rings when you are in a patient's room, gowned, gloved and doing something that takes total concentration. If you fail to answer the phone...somebody will start banging on the door...hey answer your phone...off comes the gloves, off the gown, excuse me, I will be right back....WHAT HAPPENED TO: Allow me to finish my task with THIS patient, TAKE care of everything THIS patient needs at this moment before you pull me out to THAT patient's room. UNLESS it is an emergency each patient is EQUALLY in need of attention. I will get to EVERY patient's room as soon as I can, but I can NEVER be in SIX ROOMS at the EXACT same moment...can't somebody else: get them ice, turn them over, place their oxygen tubing back on, or take them to the bathroom? Why can't the AIDE or the SECRETARY ask them what they need first. "What do they need?" "Duh...I don't know, I'm not the Nurse, they said they want their Nurse." Insert VERY LOUD SCREAM HERE!

Deep breath...so in order to relieve all the stress of work I have taken up the extreme sport of Motorcycle riding...

Death is not always...so neat...

2010-03-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

As a nurse, I get very used to seeing death. Death is mostly expected...somebody has been sick a long time, or has a very bad diagnosis. We are not surprised at the outcome, the body wears out, life has taken it's toll, cigarettes....drinking...bad decisions, sometimes cancer and things just totally out of our control. Death is always sad, even when it is the expected outcome. We do post-mortem care...remove IV's, foley's, lines, tubes, and clean and wash the remains, it a very quiet and respectful, meaningful task. It is an honor to perform this necessary task, so the families last view of their loved one at the hospital is in as natural a state as we can achieve.

When death is unexpected...things are not quiet so neat. In the hospital there will be the wreck of the room...tubes, lines, gauze, syringes...you name it, strewn all about the room. The Resuscitation team will work with a frenzy to try to bring the patient back if their code.

This weekend, I got a taste of a different kind of death, the kind that the First Responders and EMT's see on a daily basis. I gotta say, I am glad there are people cut out for that kind of work, because I can tell you I'm NOT one of them.

We were on our way to the beach. The weather was fairly nice, 83 degree's, but it had started misting. We had our cruise control set...after all...we had a vehicle full with my niece, her fiance, her two kids and my grand-daughter...in addition to me and Dave. A jacked-up Ford club-cab passed us just flying. We caught up to him when he got behind a slower vehicle...which he promptly passed. Dave and I agreed that the dude was an accident waiting to happen, as he was passing without adequate space. We remarked to each other that if he didn't wreck, he was gonna cause somebody else to wreck. Unfortunately we were right. He went to pass another vehicle...had to jerk back into his lane, but his truck started rolling. It rolled twice across the opposite lane of traffic, and then hit the ditch and the palm trees. The driver wasn't wearing his seat belt and was ejected out of the driver-side window. He apparently was dead before leaving the truck, since there wasn't much blood....I should know, since I was the first on the scene and was the one who covered him with a bright beach towel. His cousins were with him, and Thank God, wearing seat-belts. The male had already bailed out the broken window, in shock, and told me "don't look at him, he's dead!" I told him I was a nurse and I had to look at him to see if there was anything I could do. It only took one look to see there was nothing I could do for him. He was lying on his stomach, but his head was facing me (in retrospect I realized his neck was totally broken). CPR was not an option as he no longer had a mouth, or even one whole side of his head. The man probably weighed close to 200 lb, but it looked like every bone was broken...like a child's toy...tossed into the ditch. Later, when I was assisting with the woman inside the truck, I found his left mandible lying in front of the truck on the ground...totally bloodless, fleshless, and very clean looking., and probably one of the most horrible things I could have found.

The female passenger was in shock, I had her unlock her door so I could check her out, but instead of staying in the vehicle, she of course bailed out as soon as the door was open (not that I blame her!). I gave her a beach towel to use as a blanket and sat her on the ground. EMS still hadn't arrived and neither had the police...we were out in the middle of no-where's-ville. I asked if they had been drinking...and she said no...and I believed her ...there was no odor of alcohol, or other indication that alcohol was involved. I had given the male passenger a beach towel for a blanket also...but had abandoned him to treat the female because his adrenaline level was so high...he was aggressive (SHOCK!) and I didn't want to agitate him. My sweet husband was busy fetching me towels and trying to get hold of 911.

I know it felt like forever, but EMS and the Constables were there in minutes, then the Laguna Vista Police arrived, although in fact were were a couple of miles outside of the township. A female responder, who was pretty hefty (read: muscled) just picked that lady up like she was a feather and carried her out of the brush. I was very impressed. I was also very glad to relinquish the response effort to somebody better equipped. I had no gloves, no stethoscope, no anything...just beach=towels and my brain.

DPS arrived and took our statements. The children were upset and crying...There had never been quite so close to death before. I promised them new beach towels from Wal-mart on our way to the beach, which pacified them. I, on the other hand, am still thinking about the wreck and what I could have done better or different to help the two survivors. The worse is the dead driver...who will never had that second chance to slow down and wait to pass...to have that chance to get to the beach. In a blink of an eye...his life was over. He was young, healthy and had everything to live for...and that is the saddest part of all.

Coca Cola

2010-03-01T06:47:00.000-08:00

Had a patient in ICU, total liver failure, very sad case. Young guy not even 40 yet, probably won't live to see his next birthday, emacipated arms and legs, huge pregnant looking ascites belly. Lot's of co-existing problems, since the liver does so many things besides filter blood. The liver has a lot to do with blood coagulation and so on.

Well the little guy had a Nasal Gastric Tube and was getting feeding via the tube. I had done all the proper things like flushing the tube, checking residule, hanging new tubing and new feeding. I had noticed that the flush was a little sluggish, but nothing really concerning, until I needed to give some medication just before end of shift. I go to check residule and the tubing looks like clabbered milk. Ummmm, cannot aspirate with large barrel syringe, cannot push H20. Ok by now I'm starting to sweat. I have to unplug this sucker. Removing it and placing another is a no go because of esphogeal varcies and the high high high risk of the duke bleeding to death. The best solution is usually to place some soda in the tubing and wait then work it until it clears, the only problem there is the hospital no longer provides cola's for the patient's (budget ya know). Well, it just so happened I had a soda in my fridge stash (my dear hubby had sent it for my lunch two weeks ago, I don't drink soda so I had just saved it) so I put some down and worked and worked and worked. I was finally able to aspirate part of the feeding (which is like baby formula...only like I said clabbered). Dude asks me what I'm doing, he has been without anything to eat or drink by mouth for 20 days, I tell him I'm putting Coke Classic in his tubing to clear it. He gets a big grin and says "Coke...I'm getting Coke...wow!" It was so funny.

So this morning before I leave I go in and flush the tubing, he looks at me, raises his eyebrows hopefully and queries "Coke???". It was just so funny!

Dancing Time in Texas

2010-02-06T03:17:00.001-08:00

Tonight, we were gonna go to the Los Fresnos rodeo, however, after two days of rain, the mud deterred me. I don't do mud. Instead I opted for us to go to Wink's Grill and Bar w/attached arena. It is the coolest place. We took Angel to eat and stay (just until 9:30) for a little music. Inside it is very rustic. Rough cut cedar on the walls decorated with deer heads (yup a mans paradise I'm telling ya). It also has a full sized windmill turning by the dance floor. One edge of the dance floor has a mechanical bull with a blow up safety bumper. This place is HUGE! The stage has a full sized wagon on it, and tonight the drummer set his drums up on it. (We did leave before the live music because I was afraid it would get too rowdy for a 10 year old, even though lots of people were coming in with children...just doesn't seem right to have them out late with all the drinking stuff going on). The bathrooms are sooooo cool. The sinks are metal #3 washtubs and the sinks have actual old-time pumps that pump into a wooden bucket, then the water runs out the bottom where you wash your hands. The handles on the sinks are deer antlers. The rest of the bathroom is early sheet-metal decor, but thank-god for state-of-the-art tolits.

I spent a good bit of time teaching Angel to jitter-bug and two step. Then there was a party for a Quincentina (not sure if I spelled that right), which is a Hispanic traditional coming out party when a girl turns 15. The teenagers requested some line dancing and Angel was soooo in her element. Who knew that they teach line-dancing in elementary school as part of their PE? She did very well, and was adequately impressed that her "granny" picked right up and did all the moves right with the teens. Little did she know that I was a hard-core three times a week line dancer in my hay-day!

We had a very good time, then came home and watched an old Jim Carey movie "Liar Liar" and went to bed. Tomorrow we will possibly attempt going to the Cameron County Live-stock show and the rodeo. There is also a carnival and craft show (woo-hoo) so I'm looking forward to it (ok, I hate heights...but I can sacrifice myself to ride the scrambler with the grand-girl child I'm sure!

Did my brain Turn to Mush???

2010-01-29T01:01:00.000-08:00

I really had an awesomely crazy night the other night. I arrived at shift and there was no one there to give me report. I was confused. My pod was empty, no patients, no nurse, nada....was there some kinda mistake. Did the House Supervisor have a brain fart, what the hell? Within seconds I realized I was living my worst nightmare..without Vaseline. I was alone because I was "opening" the pod for all the patients that had been holding all day in ER.

I got a direct admit that was being wheeled out of the elevator as I was scratching my head in confusion (over the "empty" pod). One minute later they are wheeling my transfer from ICU, as the phone was ringing for me to take report from Day Patient on "my" patient that has been waiting for a bed for over an hour. Oh, then the aide calmly informs me I have two new admits waiting in ER.

Pause, take a breath here, hummm, usually in ICU, or even PCU, you will only get one and possibly two admits in a night, and one of those is usually a transfer. Transfers are the easiest because they already have their database done and most of the paperwork has been completed. Next easiest is the ER admits, even though they come with a billion orders at least they have a IV access and a rudimentary history and some meds have usually been given, and the patient is relatively stable. Direct admits are the hardest. Not only do you have all the paperwork to do, but you also have to try to twist Pharmacy's arm to get their first dose medications issued, and you have to start an IV.

Well, I get the gal from the elevator. Reception did not bother to put a mask on her, or to inform us that she had a nasty cough, which of course she did not cover. What is it with people? Do they think they sound sicker if they don't cover their cough? I certainly hope she had a benign case of bronchitis or something, because if it was H1N1 or TB, everybody in the lobby, on the elevator or in the hallway were exposed. I immediately introduced myself, fetched myself a mask and put her on isolation.Then I popped into the next room to meet and greet my ICU transfer. Then I popped into the next room to get it ready for the Day Patient.

Two hours later I was transferring my ICU transfer to the Medical Floor and getting that room cleaned. I discharged my Day patient home. I had started an IV on my Direct Admit and I was talking to Pharmacy for the umpteenth time for...you got it...my first dose medications. I then proceeded to get THREE ADMITS FROM ER. Count them...THREE. I was so tired at the end of shift, I was trying to catch up my charting.

This was my charting. Patient received from ER via streacher (scratched that out), via strecher (scratched that out), strechar (scratched that out)....scratched my head...Patient received from ER via gurney.....

Then I went home and slept.

Wide Awake in Texas

2010-01-14T03:07:00.000-08:00

I worked Monday and Tuesday nights, and was off yesterday. I came home and caught a few zzz's then had to get up and go the eye doc to get a recheck on the bifocal contacts. If anybody has actually learned how to wear the mono-focal's ....shish, I sure hope they start working for me. My right eye is for far away vision and my left for reading...the only part he didn't tell me is that my already poor depth perception would become practically non-existent. I am working on driving without running into anybody, and walking like one leg is not shorter than the other. Updates to follow.

The Christmas Dress

2010-01-05T11:36:00.000-08:00

What we did around Christmas.

2010-01-05T11:33:00.001-08:00

Dave unloaded the propane, so we could cook Christmas dinner. It had rained torrents of rain..for days. Note the stylish "hog" boots he is wearing.

Then we cooked out and ate fahita's. It was all good.

Peeves...we all got em...

2009-12-28T02:44:00.000-08:00

Brother dearest:

I can write this here since you don't read this blog...my secret blog! I admire your New Black Shiny Corvette, but I don't covet it. I love my old Red Paid For Ford...I call it my Paid Ford. It suits me just fine. I almost need a ladder to mount into the driver's seat, but here in Texas, where all the back roads are bumpy, it suits me just fine. I didn't appreciate your sarcasm when I didn't sit my behind properly into your New Black Shiny Corvette Leather seat. Your precise instructions "turn, put your butt in first and then turn and put your feet in", may work quite well when you are 5'7" wearing tennis shoes and have had a lot of practice squatting down to six inches from Terra Firma...but for your dear old sis...two years your senior...wearing stylish 4 inch heeled boots, tighter than this jeans, and haven't performed a squat that low since I was catcher on my baseball team...getting into your NEW Black Shiny Corvette was a feat reminiscent of playing an insane game of Twister...in fact you can now call me TWISTED SISTA!
Your precise instructions also did not take into account that said New Black Shiny Corvette was parked in the MUD....since we don't have a concrete driveway leading to our house off the dirt road. In order to follow your precise seating instructions I would have to either A) plant my 4 inch heels in the mud and swivel driving the heels in deeper than an auger or B) attempt to balance on my toes, swivel, and plant my ass .... well at this point I would most likely be wiping mud off my favorite pair of $60 Patrol Jeans....and that isn't happening in Sista's world! So yes...I led the way into the car with my long long long legs (much longer than the stubs you stand on) with my sexy black 4 inch heeled boots practically doing the splits in the mud, and still managed to look sexy as hell....and ..... guess what .... I was actually able to get in and sit even without following your instructions. Guess getting that nursing degree and learning critical thinking is working out quite well for me isn't it. Oh, and I love you to death, but if I hear one more time about how important your job is , how important you are, and how everything is top secret and if you tell me you'd have to kill me (well basically that's what you're saying right?), I just may have to shoot ya myself instead of just rolling my eyes. I'm sure you don't want to hear the gory details of my regular day (G.I. bleeders, nausea and vomiters, code brown's, and other gross stuff) and your job is oh so much more interesting (the red wire goes here...zap...green wire here....zap....black wire here...zap...white wire here...zap...yellow wire...et nauseam...). I would so suck at your job...schematics ....color codes....numbers....and you, oh I know you would so suck at mine. So today, when you are washing the country mud off your city car....just know that in spite of yourself...I truly love my baby brother even if he could be a controlling ass at times. I've still been married more times than you bro, so if nothing else I've proven myself better at picking losers than you...if that's a contest!

Today's list

2009-12-23T06:16:00.000-08:00

1. Take Zithromax.

2. Shop.

3. Wrap Presents.

4. Sleep.

5. Work.

6. Sleep and Repeat.

I have been taking Antibiotics and now I am an almost new woman. I am still hoarse, and I still look like crap, but I feel like me again. It was pretty bad Sunday night at work...my little patient in 26 was so worried about me...she forgot she was sick. I wore a mask for 2 days. I hope I charted on everybody...I was on so many antihistamines I don't even remember my name. My cardiologist was seeing a patient after Midnight on Sunday...I asked him for a script. I told him I would go to my primary care MD on Monday...but I would have to wait to be seen, or it would be at least Tuesday before they would see me...and I had only slept 4 hours in two days...I didn't know if I could stay awake to sit in the waiting room. Dr. G. gave me a script with a refill! Bless his heart. I would have kissed his feet, but I probably would have passed out. I sterilized both nurses stations and Doctor Dictation rooms and every available surface including phones and computer terminals, whether I had used them or not, with Sani-wipes before the end of my shift. I went through 3 economy boxes of Kleenex's that kill 99.9% of Cold and Flu Viruses and 7 boxes of hospital tissue and one large bottle of hand-sanitizer.

Here's hoping everybody in the boggersphere is healthy during the holidays...

It's 4:19 a.m. and I am still up!!!!

2009-12-19T02:18:00.000-08:00

I'm dealing with the creeping crud. Not the H1N1 mind you, but definately more snot than I like to worry about. Sick enough after two days to call in sick, which I hate to do. Sick enough that the fake-Sudafed they sell at Wal-mart was not doing the job, neither was Day-quil, or anything else I could find. Dave finally found some Sudafed...the real deal, in the back of the drawer. It expired in 1999. I DON'T CARE. I've been taking it. I feel better, except the crap makes me nauseated. It made me nauseated in 1999 too, I'm sure, and like all other medicines I can only take 1/2 doses....or be drugged to the max. The way I feel right now...drug my butt and put it to bed.

Yes, it's 4:19 a.m. and I dare not lay down...but I hope soon that I'll be able to go to beddy bye, cause this chick has got to work tomorrow.

I have some awesome pic's from the Christmas party. Dave was so handsome in his black western suit with his black stetson, and I didn't look too shabby hanging onto his side in my outfit. He even bought me a corsage...and I do believe I was the only woman at the party wearing one...it was special! I just have to remember how to download pic's to Blogger and I will be in business.

76 degrees and it's Christmas time?

2009-12-09T03:38:00.000-08:00

Here in the Valley we are experiencing some great weather. Yesterday 76 degree's and sunny. We took the bike out and roared into town to do some shopping. Not much space to haul back purchases...but all I needed was some fancy shoes to wear to the fancy party Med Cath is hosting for our hospital. Our little hospital is the only one in the Med Cath system that came in under budget (read: made a profit) for the fiscal year...in spite of a recession. So, lucky us, we get a catered dinner at the country club.

I have purchased the dress...from Dillard's where I actually hardly ever shop. The skirt is floor length tulip style, and the color changes from Deep Red to Black when you move. The blouse is black velvet with three quarter length sleeves. The cuffs and wide boat neck collar (man it's hard to describe this stuff...glad I'm not a wedding reporter! hee hee) are the fabric that changes color. The good thing about the outfit is that it is slimming. The bad thing is that I probably needed the skirt in a 14, but all they had was a 12, so I'll spend the evening sucking in the gut and trying to breath. I bought some cute shoes at Payless...and they were on sale...$11.00, a bargain for shoes I'll probably only wear once or twice. The shoes fit quite nicely into the bikes trunk bag.

Then Dave too me to eat and we went to the Cattleman and Co. Steak house...they have an awesome lunch .... even the smallest meal is way more than I can eat...and less than $10 a plate, and you get all the home cooked pinto beans you want...hot, steaming, and totally without any pork in it. We always sit on "the back 40", which is an add-on screened in huge porch...and I love feeling the breeze and being able to look out at the mesquite trees, flowers and flora. It's kinda like sitting outside...only not near as hot.

After shopping and eating, we had to hurry back home before Angel got off the bus. I took at 15 minute power nap, then her and I went outside to enjoy the balmy weather and sit on the porch swing. Later, as it was getting dark, we came in and tried to play the Wii game. I couldn't find the tennis game, but we found the training game, where you shoot balloons and stuff...and we had a blast. Me, I'm a very careful...aim and shoot kinda girl. Angel...may she is like the shot-gun from hell. Her controller sounded like a machine gun. She shot everything in sight, including friendlies. Remind me to discourage her from joining the military! She was like a 10 year old commando with curls. I was laughing so hard I almost fell down. It was fun.

Getting Ready for Christmas

2009-12-03T00:31:00.000-08:00

Guess you could say Christmas is sneaking up on me this year. Here it is the 3rd and I haven't gotten all my gifts done and wrapped yet. Usually I'm almost 100 percent finished with my shopping, and within days of the tree being up I'd have my stuff wrapped. Not this year. In fact, said tree hasn't even been purchased as yet. There are no Christmas candles scenting the living room. No Ponisetta's with their bright cheery blossoms. No model "Grandma's House" decorated with it's little running lights. Where is my holiday spirit?

We had Dave's mom's memorial Sunday. It was sweet, it was sad, now it is over. Time to start getting things ready for Christmas. Dave is depressed. I am depressed. But, I intent to try to pull him out of it by decorating and trying to get our lives back to normal. This will be the first year his son and grandkids are here for the holidays and I want them to be as stress-free and happy as possible. I'd love to get the lights on the outside of the house...not sure if that is practical though, but it might get Dave's mind off the last month. I want to declutter my mind.

Probably won't be shopping much for these holidays, but I want it to be special non-the-less. I want less glitter and more memory. It seems like as I get older the days are flying by so fast. I want some great memories for my kids and grandkids for when we are no longer here to decorate the tree. I want to get closer to God and back to when times were simple. I guess I want to be 5 again.

Long Time No-blogging

2009-11-22T13:35:00.000-08:00

I know that I've been on hiatus for some time. My mother-in-law was in the hospital with a lengthy illness (40 days) and had several surgeries during that time. She passed away 11-19 and this is the first chance I've had to re-connect with my blogger-friends. We are still dealing with getting ready to have a Memorial Service for her since her wishes are to be cremated and that takes several days. As we wade through funeral "hell", it is nice to know we do have some choices and can have some input on how things are done. Basically I just want a classy Memorial for a classy Lady...

Rest in peace mom.....

Betty "Jean" Wilson
Nov. 25, 1935 - Nov. 19, 2009

Siezure disorder vs Asshole Disorder

2009-09-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

Ok. So the title isn't politically correct. Sure big 300 lb dude was having siezures. Dude been sick with alot of issues for awhile. But after the seizures are over and you've been adequately medicated WTF is up with trying to kick the shit out of the nurse everytime she comes to the bedside. And grabbing her arms and twisting the shit out of them, and nearly dislocating her thumb, all because she is trying to get you up in the bed so you can breath. Why beat your surgical stump bloody because you have to stay in bed, because you haven't walked in two weeks and you have been having seizures every couple of hours, and you're attached to 9,000 monitoring devices in the freaking ICU? And WTF do you think you can go at 2 a.m. in the morning anyway???? All the bars are closed or I'd leave your happy butt in the floor (which is where you'd be if I didn't keep putting your body parts back onto the bed) and I'd go have me a nice cold margarita ....

She took What??? Part II

2009-08-27T07:10:00.000-07:00

Gotta love our internet here. Down more than up. Read part one to catch up.

Well Er nurse had picked her up at 7p. She told me: "Well she grunted when I asked her questions, so I thought she was alert...they gave her Narcan at...oh...around 3 pm...and she was AOX3 then.." Me: "What was the Narcan for?" Her: "Oh, they thought maybe too much of her home pain med's." Me: "What she on?" Her: "Ambiene, Oxycodone, Liquid Morphine..." Me: "Liquid Morphine...I didn't even know they prescribed that to the general public...how much does she get." Her: "I don't remember, but her hubby has the meds out in the Hall".

Ok, first the patient...girlfriend...is not looking to good. O2 Sats are down, BP in the commode, respirations slow 9-12, somulent and not waking up. Put her on a non-rebreather mask and put her head down, and head to the hallway. Hubby hands me the meds, I pull out this bottle of CONCENTRATED MORPHINE LIQUID. Hubby states it's a new med for her and she's only had one dose. I look at the bottle, and there seems to be a good bit missing. She only took one syringe by mouth he says, I gave it to her. "Well sir, how big was that syringe you were using??" "I don't know...". "I'll be right back I tell him, I just need the pharmacy to look at this bottle..."

Pharmacist does some calculations based on how much is left in the bottle....wait for it...wait for it....the patient got 100 times the dose she was suppose to get...100 TIMES the dose....can we say....big time too much medicine.

I call the doc, give her 2 more amps of Narcan, take her to ICU, she gets 2 more amps of Narcan on arrival and meds for the blood pressure. She's starting to perk up, opening her eyes.

The next night I get her back. She had been awake all of 4 hours. She asked for AMBIENE so she could sleep. Chickie almost had the never-ending sleep and by my recollection slept almost 48 hours straight, and still wants a sleep aide! Sorry. the Doc hasn't continued that medication. Well then, how about a pain pill for my pain.....Sorry that hasn't been restarted either. I get the eye roll, the blowed out breath...Well then how are you gonna fix my pain.

One ice pack, some extra pillows, and the light's out...patient was asleep in minutes without any pharmacological intervention at all.

Accidental Overdose contributing factors:

1. Unclear instructions on the Bottle.
2. Patient and Hubby don't speak or read good English.
3. Who the F-bomb gives liquid morphine for a 3 year old surgical scar anyway????

She took What???

2009-08-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

Got a patient the other day from the ER. Admitting Diagnosis was Rabdomylitis and Acute Renal failure. I was lead to believe this was a walkie-talkie. Incidentally reported, pt had been unresponsive at home, unable to arouse and that she got Narcan on arrival to ER, with good response and that she was talking and responsive.

Well, 5 hours had passed from the time the patient recieved Narcan and came to the floor. When she got to me, I'm like, "Uh, she doesn't look like she's breathing too well to me." ER Nurse "Well I picked her up at 7 pm,

Cute and funny...

2009-08-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

So, a few days ago Ashley (the mamma)and Daniel (the daddy) go out on the back porch to smoke (no smoking in the house...Rule #1). Out the doggie door goes: Abby (weiner #1), Izzy (weiner #2), Killer (weiner #3) and Ali (grandchild # 2 just turned one)!!!!! Ali wanted outside with mamma and daddy and just observed the dogs and followed them. Now every-time our backs are turned she heads for the doggie door...because she loves being outside. Ashley is paranoid. I am paranoid. Grandpa and Daddy are paranoid. She knows how to get out the doggie door, but the only way off the porch is the side or the steps...and she doesn't do steps yet. I'm sure that's just a minor glitch in Ali's escape plan. If she watchs the dogs a few times I'm sure she will catch on! Kids are just too damned smart!

Entering the world of laptops.

2009-07-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well. I'd like to say we have entered the good-times and suddenly won the lottery or something, but that would be a lie. Actually we went to a garage sale. My "geek tech" hubby spotted a "dead" laptop that no one could figure out how to fix. He went to radio shack and bought some electrical techo-geeky stuff.,...and wow. Now I have a Dell laptop that works perfectly. Not sure if it is too old or slow or not...who could tell with out slow-poke server? What is a challenge is typing with a keyboard that isn't sticking, or a mouse that goes on the fritz because it's not finding a signal. It is amazing that my husband is sooooo smart. Gee, and the gal at the garage sale threw in the case, floppies, a power cord and anything else that even looked like it went to a computer. He gave her $20. Damn, I love my man.

Now the only thing weird is that he is using my most loved fix it supply...Duct tape...to hold the power supply thingie together. I always tell him duct tape holds the word together...and now he really agrees. Can you believe the man took me to Corpus Christi for a romantic weekend and gave into to my garage sale fetish??? Then is the effort of fairness I took him to a Warehouse tool sale where he bought things I cannot even name...yet alone know how to use...with the exception of the needle-nose pliers. Oh, and I bought him a sign for our window "Forget about the guard dog, watch out for the owner" with the picture of a large gun barrel.....LOL.

I also plied him with steak and seafood. We walked on the jetties by the Lexington (a battleship that is harbored at Corpus) and we watched a helicopter buzzing by while they were filming a Pepsi commercial. They were also having the Special Olympics there, we didn't go, but there were plenty of contenders staying at our Hotel...and they were not all designated Special Olympie's...some were just plain old red neck drunkards! We tried our best to join them...what with me falling into the hot tub and all....ride the wave people...it was really an accident!

So after a weekend of total rest, I went to work...and I don't know what the hell I did to my back (we know it wasn't the wild and weird position sex we tried out over the weekend), but I have been having hellious lower lumbar spasms (so weird for me...I usually only freak up my upper back from pulling up patients). So...I went to the doctor yesterday for pain meds, muscle relaxants and so on and so forth. Today it is some better, but tomorrow I go back to work.
Oh, and I am gonna have an MRI. I have a birth defect called spinal bifia occulta, which means I'm missing some spinous transverse processes on my right lower lumbar spine, and the doc wants to check and make sure I don't have any bulging disks.

Oh, nuff already. I'm listening to "THE BEST OF THE DOOR'S" which my techo wizard hubby loaded on my I-pod Nano I got for Christmas and I still don't know how to use.

I'm still here.

2009-07-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

Went to the beach yesterday. Had a really good day watching the grandkids play in the surf. Nobody drowned. Drank some brew (had a designated driver: Dave). Came home, got pissed off, the lazy-in-law...or slobbit, didn't unload the dishwasher or clean up her mess in the kitchen. She did manage to wash her two weeks worth of laundry...after I pointed out I couldn't tell what was clean or dirty in her room...there were piles everywhere...and we have a washer. You'd think a 24 year old WOMAN would be ashamed to have a room that nasty...and stinking of pissy diapers and God only knows what else. I'm glad my room is on the opposite side of the house.

Is it bitchy, insensative, or unreasonable to expect a house-guest who is living with you, to at least keep their part of the house clean. In 40 days she has offered to cook 1 time. And I had to help with that. Our meal was prepared and placed on the table at 10:00 p.m., even though we eat every day at 5:00 p.m., oh, and her husband had to cook the chicken, and the rest of the meal came out of jars....

Ok, so I'm bitchy. I just want to come home on my days off and not spend 4 hours cleaning the house before I can go to bed. Then get up and have to cook and clean up again. Dave and Daniel have been busy outside ditch-witching electrical lines and water-lines so we don't have electrical wires snaked over the yard to the well-pump and stuff. It is hot, dirty work, and they shouldn't have to come in and clean the house too. Daniel, by the way, has got a job now and is working 9 am till 6 pm. Ashley on the other hand is going to get unemployment due to Home Depot firing her while she was on her approved vacation. However, Ashley thinks this means she is still on "vacation" and therefore she shouldn't be expected to lift a finger. The straw that really got me pissed was the other night. I'd had 4 hours of sleep, yes, I will admit, I was a wee bit grumpy. I'm trying to cook supper. I only wanted to sit outside and drink my coffee and enjoy the last of the sunlight...but oh no, I had to do my part of the meal, Dave was smoking fahita's, and I had to make hot-sauce and cut up taters. Did anybody offer to help peel? Nope! Help chop up? Nope? But SHE asked to use my phone. Dumped the baby in the playpen to cry herself to sleep, and took the phone out to her car so she would have privacy and it would be quiet...and left me in the house cooking and listening to a sqwalling hungry baby.

WHEW!!!! I blew a freaking gasket. I picked the wet hungry crying baby up. I carried her to her daddy, sitting out on the swing. I went back in the house and I was banging pans and cooking. By the time everything was done it was dark and the mosquito's were out, so I didn't get to sit outside. I feel like a damned vampire.

I was so depressed Dave took me and the kids to the beach yesterday.

I smelled death today

2009-07-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

Today I smelled death and it wasn't pretty. No perfume, no cologne nothing to freshen the air. Just the scent of a woman, who everyone forgot. Found unresponsive on the floor. Three days that no one remembered seeing her. Three days of piled up mail. The policemen couldn't even break down the door. She was afraid you see, of vandals and had locked up good and well. Except for the window. The lone window raised up for a breath of air. In the 103 degree heat. Humidity and rat's had done their job. Three days in the heat and 90 year old flesh begins to rot. The heart was still beating, but breathing wasn't her job. Seeing heaven was what she had thought. The EMS did a marvelous job, with epi and bicarb. They brought a dead heart to beat. But death was dogging her every breath. Who covered her with the newspaper we wonder. Was she visited by death's angle to plunder?

With the vent she came to me. She breathed by a machine. We bathed her battered body. Head with a lump and a black eye. why and where she fell, no one knows why. A heart attack??? Maybe, a stroke , a possibility. Maybe we will never know. She was never stable enough to go to CT. And what difference in her treatment anyhow. We pumped her with fluids. We pumped her with vasopressors and all sorts of dialators. We got heartbeats in the 150/s and blood pressure bearly high enough to read. She coded over and over. But her relatives. Who lived out of town. In their guilt induced coma's demanded the best. Keep her alive no matter what. Their manta their chorus...her life.Hours of CPR, Broken ribs, as rotten flesh wafted up , broken ribs and nothing else. We panted and planted our hands, We pumped and we pumped and we pumped. For a while we had epi induced arrhythmia...then asystole and nothing else. We tried until the try was gone. We gave up finally at 1. The family arrived from and 8 hr drive. Their precious aunt no longer alive.

So I came home and drank some brew. I'm finally sleepy but who knew. When I threw my arm up over my head. My eyes opened up as I smelled the dead. Irish Spring soap...a miracle cure, now if only I could forget and sleep...but my mind keeps circling back to her...covered with newspaper like a sheet, and rat feces....who found her first and thought her dead, and covered her with headlines all over her head? .............Today I smelled death.

Damn but I'm tired. I'm going to sleep (I hope) maybe tonight will be better.

Wow!!!! I'm made the great 100!!!!!

2009-06-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

This is my 100th blog. Wow....I never thought I was quite that "wordy"!

Kids are here. All is going great. We've been to Slitterbaum Waterpark at South Padre Island and today we are going to the beach at Isle Blanca Park. It will be so fun. I've had a good bit of rest too, which was much needed. I feel refreshed and ready to tackle another year of hard, but rewarding work.

The two grand-daughters are beautiful, and a joy to be around. The baby doesn't cry much, and is just starting to crawl. She will be walking soon since she turns 1 yr old next month! Her big Sis, Angel, is a sweetie who is willing to help with everything. She just soaks up the attention like a flower turning it's face into the sun. Yesterday she swam in her wading pool then we took a bike ride down the dirt road. She did good, but easy to tell she has spent most of her time indoors. The grand-parents were still going strong, and she pooped out on the bike. She will be 10 next month. Both of the girls birthday is on the same day...so wow...we will definitely be having a birthday party!

Well, I gotta get off this 100th blog and get stuff packed. The ice chest is ready. We are picking up Subway sandwiches....so I guess it's time to take my special man a cup of coffee and kiss him awake....so we can go!!!!

I hope everybody is having a great summer (so far)! I appreciate the comments and my blogger friends.

Post #99 or I had a crappy night...take your pick!

2009-06-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

One patient, coded just before shift change...in ER....got her 1/2 way through report. Can we say 7 pumps equals 7 drips needing titrated. No BP, No pulse (pulseless electrical activity), no pee, no real temperature (93 degrees is not compatible with life for long). Intubated (not breathing on her own). Guess you can see where this is going....8 hours later I remembered to pee. Oh, and to actually look at my other patient a few times (she had 5 drips going and unstable BP), but her grand-daughter...who was a Veterinarian was at her bedside and more than happy to call me...frequently...but mostly I can say when I was needed. I figured out I hate arterial lines.....they can be a pain in the hiney when not working properly.

Left both of my peep's alive ... and if not stable...with titratable drips. Wow...I'm pooped.

So I'm headed to bed. Kids will be starting out from North Carolina for here today. Thank God it will take them two days to get here. I think it will take me two days to recoup from last night.

Giggles

2009-06-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

Last night at work us girls were in the doc dictation room gabbing. We had moved the charting in there because the light is brighter (we are required to turn down the station lights at night... making it difficult to see and if we are in the dictation area it's quieter for the patient's...and we can pick up the phone calls there and still hear the call bells and everything.

We somehow got to talking about last Halloween....one of the girls had been going to a Halloween party in San Antonio and I was asking how her costume worked out for her. Now L had decided to go as a "Happy Hooker"...which was a long stretch of the imagination for me. L is not obese, but like me is carrying a few extra rolls around the middle. She is also usually very shy and I could not picture her in this costume. She informed us that she had changed her mind and went at "Naughty Nurse". I was giggling because on "Sex and The City" (the movie), Miranda quips that the only costumes for women are "Slutty Nurse" or "Sexy Witch". L assured us that not only did she go as "Naughty Nurse" that she had pictures. She described her costume: Her white Lab coat...and nothing else. I started laughing....well L....elaborated....She had on a black lacy cami, black fishnet stockings, a bra and undies (of course) and high high heels. Oh, and as she walked out of the room, she also quipped "I even found a condom and pinned it to my pocket"! WTF.

"Wait, Wait, come back.....what do you mean you FOUND a condom????" "Was this a new or used model?" At this point our very innocent and young aide P quipped, "Trojan?", "Magnum?" I ask....we started giggling. "Ribbed for her pleasure?" P asks. "French Tickler?" I ask...by now we are giggling so hard tears are running down our faces. P, with streams of mascara....then tops it all off "Chocolate or Strawberry flavored!?" She gasped!!!!!

Thirty minutes later we are still looking at each other and giggling....Everybody is walking by, just shaking their heads .... wondering what the joke is....and we cannot even say. How do explain condoms and work????

Beach

2009-06-04T19:49:00.000-07:00

Nothing brings out the beach bunny in me like 98 degrees, 10 mph wind and dogs in the surf. I had so much fun. The only blight on the day was the teenagers next too us. They weren't noisy, they weren't rude, they weren't drinking alcoholic beverages. So what is the problemo???

Stupido~~!!!! They took a huge floaty Star shaped toy out...with 5 teenagers. A wave knocked them off of it...and they got pulled out by the rip-tide. I called 911, and a 24 year old guy nearly drowned getting them back to shore. I will say, our shore-patrol, EMS, Constables and all showed up very quickly...but if that 24 year old had not went ourt they would have been pulling out 5 bodies. Two of the teens could swim....they were able to help the two girls back to the Star...but they were exhaused. The 24 year old pulled them all out....then had to be carried out of the shallow water. I had them put him on his side in recovery position...and yes, he was puking sea-water up! The EMS basically checked his 02 sat's. He refused to go to the hospital...just needed to rest...he was having really bad cramps from swimming.

The teens stayed about 30 minutes, then left. They left their huge Star Shaped "toy" floater...guess they didn't want it anymore. We let the air out and brought it home. It will be perfect to take to the bay-side where there is almost no waves...and no rip's or under-tow.

Now I'm sunburned and waiting on the smoker to finish the meat. We stopped at the fruit stand and bought canalopes, watermelon, tomatoes, cilantro, cucumbers and blackberries. I've already made the pico-de-gio and I'm ready to dig in!

Wow...wet stuff falling out of the sky!!!!

2009-05-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen this stuff in so long. It is cool, it is wet...it is blowing sideways....wait...it's rain. Gee I need an Ark...because I haven't seen this much rain since the floor (of Hurricane Dolly that is). My thirsty grass is getting a drink. The irrigation canal is filling up, the farmers will be happy.

Now if we can just convince the Cameron County Tax Assessor that our house doesn't exist in two different places at the same time so they can quit collecting double taxes from us...I would be totally ecstatic.

Houseguests?

2009-05-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

My step-son, daughter-in-law and two grandchildren are coming to visit from North Carolina. I have never met them. I am so excited that they are coming to visit. Excitement...tempered with caution. The visit has turned into them coming to live with us while they look for jobs in this area. My step-son D was recently laid off from his part-time job. His wife A still works part-time at Home Depot.

They both worked part-time so that they did not have to hire child-care for their 9 year old and 11 month old. They choose to do this for several reasons: one is the savings financially and the other is so they can have a closer bonding/parenting experience with their children. I really commend them for this. A is unable to pick up an extended hours...and they are not able to survive with only 1/2 of a paycheck coming in. They do not want to move in with D's mom, they have lived with her before. His mom uses illegal drugs and her husband is an alcoholic. This makes living together difficult at best. They do not want to move in with A's mom for basically the same reasons, except A's mom and step-dad are addicted to prescription drugs and they stayed there for one month while they were looking for jobs previously, and it was very chaotic.

We do want to help the kids, but we feel like it will have to be with rules. We feel like if they move here we need to limit how long they can live with us...that way they will feel pressured to actually get out and work at finding a job. (I had an ex-sister-in-law live with me for two years while she was "finding" a job. She wasn't even registered at the Texas Workforce when I took her in to "check-in" two years later. I kicked her out .... she had a job in a week!). We want them to have incentive's to better themselves.

Here the economy is still fairly strong...as long as you don't want to buy a car or a house! I think we could help them find somewhere to rent reasonably though a net-work of friends and family. If they stayed here two months and worked a least one month...saving their money...they should be able to find someplace to rent, and have enough to pay their utilities. We may have to help financially because of all the deposits needed for utilities and such, but I know we can swing it.

I am just a little worried, because I don't know if our personalities will clash, having never met them. Also there will be two little ones to help take care of and feed. That does put a little pressure on me, as I am the one who works shift work. Dave is disabled, and D has not seen his dad since before his accident. I don't think he realizes his dad cannot do everything and be everything like he was before his wreck. Also, I have been having my hours cut just about every pay-period...and that hurts financially. I also know that they don't have any savings, and if they move here we will have to finance the move...gas, truck, food...and that will eat up our savings. So...it's a two edged sword.

So, I commit my problems to prayers. I'll let God sort it out. What is to be will be. I will just be....."Super Granny....able to heft small children with a single arm...pink cape flowing behind me...home-made pan of cookies held on high!"

I got Square Pants...and I don't know Why???

2009-05-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

I talked to my momma two days ago. Momma is handicapped since her stroke 6 years ago and walks with a walker. She also broke her left hip 2 1/2 years ago, even after rehab, that leg is slightly shorter than the other due to the muscle drawing up somewhat (of course she will never believe that and insists the doctor put the wrong size hip in her????) Anyway, momma has been falling. Her balance has been iffy for quite some time, and there is no measuring her stubbornness!

She is determined that she can still do everything...she loads her dishwasher, she folds her clothes, she cooks her breakfast...but she cannot open the kitchen window over the sink...her walker takes off without her (it does have wheels ya know), and my momma, having the personality of a pissed off viper...ie: rattlesnake... cannot wait 10 seconds for anyone else to come and help her, so she falls. She has fell so much in the last two years that she has a technique for "butt landings".

She was telling me of her latest "butt landing" on top of the last two this week, and I suddenly had a vision of that stupid Burger King commercial, where all those gals in red short-shorts are dancing with phone book shapes in the britches...and I started giggling...and trying to tell mom she needed to get her a square foam insert so she could have "square pants" (SPONGEBOB)...WELL the giggles brought on the coughing, choking, sputtering, tears running down my face (I could just picture Mom with the red short-shorts and the square insert pushing her walker down the hall...with the square rump going up and down.....). Ok, I know, she is a poor handicapped woman...but my mom used to be the hot-to-trot best dancer ever and her favorite song to dance to was "Wipeout". She could jiggle her bottom in ways I have never discovered the secret to! So...Mom...squarepant's.....

Yes, I have officially turned the corner, I am crazy.

CDC is a HIPPA Violator

2009-05-06T04:39:00.000-07:00

I read the newest report by the AP press last night, about the 2nd Swine Flu victim. I was infuriated....how could the family possibly have any privacy when so many "details" were released: age: 33, Sex: Female, Job: Teacher for the Mercedes Independent School District, had given birth to a healthy child during her hospitalization.....

Ok, lets break that down shall we. Mercedes...very small town close to the PROGRESSO, Mexico crossing and when I say small town...it wasn't hard for a LOCAL report to match the obituary to the information provided by the CDC (www.valleymorningstar). The Local report goes on to tell how the report er ferreted out information and attempted to get more information from the School Superintendent.

While Mercedes is in the vicinity of various Hospitals: One in Westlaco, 2 or 3 hospitals in McAllen, two hospitals in Harlingen, two hospitals in Brownsville...do you think it will take long for a serious reporter to figure out which hospital she was at, and start a panic??? Especially since the obituary gives her residence as Harlingen? Both hospitals have birthing suites, but how long do you think the families privacy is going to be considered...since it has already been compromised??? I thought the whole "HIPPA" was that information that would identify a patient was not to be released. I guess the CDC doesn't have to adhere to the same laws the rest of the medical profession are required to.

Meanwhile, both the hospitals in Harlingen are in overdrive. Publicized in the paper...changes in their visitation polices. How much will this help??? The woman in the article was in the hospital two entire infectious cycles before her 2nd test came back positive...according to the reporter...now where did he get that information??? Is it correct, is it accurate...I didn't read that in the ASSOCIATED PRESS release from the CDC. Is that hearsay or did he speak to family or was that released by the School Superintendent under duress??? I don't know, but if you count back, that many days would have put her in the hospital BEFORE Mexico admitted they had an epidemic. AND it took two tests before they found the illness. Now how is that for a false negative. How many people will get a "false" negative...get better and go back to work, and never know they actually had the dreaded SWINE FLU?

Just wondering all these things as I wait for the CDC to release my "OFFICIAL" test result. If it is positive and they list all the same information about me to the newspaper...how long before somebody comes knocking on my door...violating my privacy? This area is "small town" where people do know their neighbors, we know when they are sick, in the hospital, or are just praying for healing. It would take exactly the same amount of information released on this 2nd Swine flu victim ... the same exact amount of information...and anybody in the US could find out who I am. We think we are anonymous??? I don't think so.

Feeling Better Today

2009-05-02T04:49:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't have the exotic and highly contagious Swine Flu or Politically correct H1N1 (don't want to offend any pigs in the naming of diseases). Why is it that scientists fight tooth and nail to get a new illness named after them, but the lowly pig is insulted that the Swine Flu is named after them? I just don't get it.

I apparently have a particularly persist ant case of bacterial pharyngitis...so I'm on antibiotics and still on the antiviral for the possible exposure. My quick flu test came back negative, and even with only 60% accuracy, I am pretty confident that I don't have any type of flu. I got a Z-pack, Tesselon perles for cough ...and actually was able to sleep 4 hours last night! Hurrah!!! I haven't slept over two hours at a time in 5 days! I've coughed my way through 3 boxes of anti-viral Kleenex's. I also discovered that I have an allergic reaction to the C

I was feeling a little better yesterday evening, so Dave hooked my wagon up to the lawn tractor and pulled me and the dogs around the yard in it. I'm such a redneck nerd....it was fun, the puppies loved it. Now they will want the mower out every day!

Dave and J moved the calves into our pasture yesterday after they finished the electric fence. Abby could not get used to them being there and would not stop barking. The puppies usually totally ignore the calves in the other pasture...but they were on this side in the dogs "yard"! Wiener's are so territorial!

Well I need to get of here...the power just went out and I'm using up the battery backup on the computer.

To Close the Borders ... or Not?

2009-04-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

At this point closing the borders would most likely be pretty useless...think of it this way...You have a barn, with a horse...said horse leaves the barn through one of any doors you have on every side. You shove the horse back in one door and while you are closing it, he runs out another. You repeat the scenario over and over....until suddenly you realize that all the doors are closed but the barn is empty and the horse is galloping down the road.

Closing the borders would be a little like that. We can't keep the Mexicans from crossing illegally on the best of days. Border patrol agent's are stretched thin just keeping the drugs and illegals from crossing where ever they have a chance. We are in the process of building a very costly and (so far) very unpopular fence between us and Mexico , and of course there is still the river. If I lived in Mexico, and thought I was going to die if I stayed...darn tooting I'd be trying to get out. That is why a pandemic will happen. It will be impossible to contain it within a countries borders...because of fear. People will panic, they will go where they think they are safe...and damned the consequences. They will come here even if they know they are sick. You can run, but you can't hide....bacteria /viruses are everywhere.

How will world responds now that the horse has exited the barn? The next few weeks are going to be very important to our future. Hopefully most of the cases will remain mild and this will be a practice run for all the pandemic planners. They will be studying for the next 20 years on how to get better at planning and making manuals. People will get better at figuring ways around the system. That's just the way people are.

On a more personal note: I am feeling better. Still off work as I'm still hacking, coughing and can barely talk. My throat swabs are still pending, I take it the State Health Department is a little bit swamped right now. Now, if I were dead, they would put a rush on it and would know tomorrow, but since I prefer the present (with me alive and hacking), I'll just wait my turn for my results. Stay safe out there, wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands...and avoid people like me who are hacking their lungs out...even if they are using anti-viral tissues that kill 99.9 percent of cold and flu viruses', it's that 0.1 percent that will get ya every time.

Swine Flu Panic...or Prudent Caution?

2009-04-28T03:57:00.000-07:00

Here in the valley I live close to four international entry ports...or international bridges from Mexico. FOUR! It is inconceivable that at least a few sick people haven't made it across, especially in the days before the warnings...when the flue was still in it's incubation stage. You can be contagious a day before you actually start showing symptoms.

People cross over all the time, and go to the local hospitals for care. They know that due to federal laws that they cannot be turned away without at least being triaged. It is not common practice for the triage nurses, ER staff, Er physicians, out-patient secretaries or ever the security guards to wear protective masks. It's the time of year when we see a LOT of pneumonia , pneumonitis, acute respiratory disease's, increased allergic responses...because there is a lot of changes in the weather, cool at night - hot and muggy during the day.

Add to that the allergens in the air as the farms plow and plant, and the winds have been blowing 30-40 miles per hour for the past month....every day. It has been theorized that there is more molds in the ground this year due to the excessive moisture and standing water we had during Hurricane Dolly last year. These would have lain dormant until the spring plowing.

I keep hearing the question "Why are so many people dying in Mexico and not in the U.S.". My thoughts are these.

1. In Mexico, if you are sick, you don't need a prescription for antibiotics, you just figure out what you think you need and you go and buy it. People take the antibiotics until they feel better...not until they have taken a full course of medications and eradicated the problem. When they get sick again...the pneumonia, bronchitis, or whatever respiratory illness they are experiencing is more resistant to the antibiotics.

2. Because they can get antibiotics without a physician's order, by the time they actually go to a hospital, they are literally at deaths doorway, nothing is working. Influenza, pneumonia, bronichitis, the common cold, cardiac heart failure, Pulmonary Emboli, Tuberculosis...these all have very similar lung symptoms...with sputum production, infiltrates on Chest X-ray, increased WBC's and/or left shift on bloodwork, cough, fatigue / malaise , and with the exception of CHF, fever may or may not be present.

Every illness that fits this criteria is probably initially treated as pneumonia or bronchitis...a throat swab and sputum cultures are not always ordered. With this Swine Flu ... while there is a frequent cough, there is little sputum production...therefore nothing to culture. Add to that the new resurgence of Adult Whooping Cough...and you have one more thing to add to a differential diagnosis.

What really sends up a red flag is a young previously healthy adult in Acute Respiratory Distress that winds up tubed in the ER. The only problem there is again figuring out the problem. To further muddy the diagnostic scenario is also the fact that there is alot of illegal drugs readily available and used in this area. You can get young healthy adults with Acute Respiratory Distress due to smoking crack, or snorting cocaine. So as you can see, the puzzle can be very complicated for a doctor...or a whole group of specialists to wade through.

Then there is the very real fact that a lot of Tuberculosis crosses over from Mexico, because it is not routinely tested for like it is here in the States. The ICE facilities have isolation beds for this to get illegals well and non-contagious before they are sent back to their native counties, we usually get "over-flows" from them...which means there is a lot of TB out there folks.

Now that there is a Possible Pandemic, something which the hospitals have been training for for the last few years...and we actually know what to be looking for, they can add throat swabs for the flu virus to the battery of tests commonly ordered, they can isolate the patients when they come in the door...except so many are coming in and we only have a few true isolation rooms, which are usually used for TB patients.

CDC may not have reported all the cases as yet, as our local news is reporting "confirmed" cases in Rio Grand City (Starr County), some in Navarro County, and Brownsville ...all which have been reports in school age children, with said schools being placed on mandatory closing until May 5-7 (different stations giving conflicting info). You go to the CDC website...and none of these "confirmed" reported illness are reflected on their "board" as they are still claiming only 3 cases in Texas, one in Dallas and two in San-Antonio. I just listened to a Yahoo video that two students in Cibilo, TX (not sure if that is spelled correctly or where exactly that is) have been confirmed with Swine flu. That brings the number of reported to around 9 cases scattered all over the state ...only three of which are through the official CDC website. Trust me ...there will be more. While I was getting my test done yesterday and issued my medications our ER was jam-packed and a number of the patients were wearing masks...something I HAVE NEVER seen anyone doing in the ER.

So I think this is the tip of the iceberg...and if it does turn out to be like the Spanish Flu of 1918 this could be the first wave. The first wave was mild then the virus mutated and came back with a vengeance 6 months later. Hopefully, if I have a case now, it will give me some immunity later when I may need it. Somebody has to be well enough to take care of the sick.

So folks, stay safe out there, wash your hands often, cover those coughs and sneezes, use the hand sanitizer, disinfect shared telephones, doorknobs, grocery cart handles...all the things you would do in the regular flu season. Be prudent with your own health.

Waiting to find out what the heck I have

2009-04-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

The Infection control Nurse called me last night at 9, on a weekend, she is going to call me this morning to let me know if I need to come in to pick up a prescription for the Tamiflu or if I need to go to my personal physician to get my throat swab done (only 70 percent accurate for flu type A anyhow). I sit here, with my low grade fever, my now sore throat and nausea, and wonder...am I getting better yet. The chills come and go, but seem to be less frequent...of course that could have been the soothing shower that lowered my temperature. Ah.....I hate to be sick!

Is it a Regular Upper Respiratory or is it the Swine Flu??

2009-04-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

OK. So, I had already read about the swine flu, like Friday morning. Commented to the hubby...."Wonder how they got a Swine/Aviary/Human never seen before flu...unless (oh now here comes the conspiracy theory) somebody genetically engineered that??? Not trying to be a fear flinger or something, but seems weird to me.

So I go to work Friday and the patient with the FEVER OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN who had been down attending some big MOTORCYCLE RALLY (you know the kind where they get wild and swap spit with people they don't know and will never see again) THEN TRAVELED TO MEXICO to buy his regular medications cheap....WHO HAD THIS COUGH UP A LUNG COUGH...with occasional RED OR BLOODY SPUTUM (that was actually screaming TB a little to me, but what the hell, who am I to tell all the fine doc's that maybe they need to retest the sputum?) WHO COUGHED IN MY FACE (yes it happens all the time) and whose helpful wife kept dragging out SOILED Kleenex's to the DESK to show me said SPUTUM (eewwwkkk!!!!), she was really a sweet lady...just not real bright about SPREADING GERMS.

It seemed to matter LITTLE that I practiced HAND HYGIENE RELIGIOUSLY (that's good hand washing in layman's terms). By the end of the night FRIDAY I was having a weird tickle in my throat...that turned into a HACK MY LUNG OUT dry cough.

Went home went to bed got up and went to work. The HACK MY LUNG OUT dry cough ...still present but which had also turned into a LOW GRADE FEVER, SLIGHT SORE THROAT, SLIGHT NAUSEA, AVERSION TO FOOD (me?????), almost total LARYNGITIS (do you hear my hubby praising God yet???). Anyway, I had to report this to the INFECTION CONTROL NURSE ( at home on a Sunday morning) because the CDC was at the hospital's down here yesterday looking for basically this SET OF SYMPTOMS. She decided they did not need to test me because my temp has not spiked up past 100 degree's yet. Hummmmm nobody seems to care that I always have a sub-normal temp of 96.7 or 96.8 for my ENTIRE LIFE and when I hit 99.7 that's the equivalence of anybody Else's temp being 101.7, and I FEEL LIKE SHIT... actually, pardon the language HAMMERED SHIT really describes it better.

It's probably just the change in the weather and all the wind carrying pollen...but the original cough was really strange. IT WAS EXACTLY like it felt like when I WAS GASSED at the prison...like little sharp particles were irritating my throat. I still don't have a runny nose, but it is hard to breath a little. I am going to the doc Monday to get my throat swab for Influenza A or strep. If I SPIKE A TEMP OVER 100 degrees then I WILL MEET THE CRITERIA needed to warrant a trip to the ER...and that's where I will be going.

My KIND AND CONSIDERATE SUPERVISOR has taken me off the schedule for tonight. The STAFF AND VISITORS AND PATIENTS were appreciative that I wore a MASK ALL NIGHT (my face itches like hell from the darned thing!) and DID GREAT HAND HYGIENE. IF I HAD KNOWN I WAS SICK BEFORE 6 P.M. I would not have gone to work. IF I HAD HAD FEVER before going to work I WOULD HAVE DONE THE PRUDENT THING AND STAYED HOME regardless.

So I'm going to lay down and try to sleep, if I am able to breath in the horizontal position.

Stay well.

Oh My Pretty

2009-04-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Dave: Oh My Pretty, you've been playing in the flour again!

Me: But Daddy, how did you Know?

Dave: The floor, the walls, the cabinet....your nose.

Guilty as charged. My favorite neighbors are having a BBQ tomorrow. I cannot go because I have to work, but non-the-less...I will cook, and cook, and cook....and hopefully get a nap before tonight....because I have to work. My neighbor/pastor/friend Joe, has Army buddies coming...he was stationed in Korea with these men when he was a mere 18 years of age. He just turned 68. They have not seen each other in 50 years. One couple is coming from California, I don't recall where the others are coming from. Irene, Joe's wife, the shy one....has been beside herself for days. Cleaning, cooking, planning....changing her mind, planning some more, and getting pink-faced and flustered. My sweet neighbor...who never asks for anything, asked me to make her some pineapple upside down cake...my specialty. Sitting in my kitchen, as I blog is a huge 14 X 9 scrumptlitious pineapple upside cake...and a small round 9" cake *ditto* for my sweetheart...who will be washing said floor, walls and cabinet! I have Toll-house cookies in the oven for the coffee and prayer tonight, and I put bread to bake in the bread-machine...nicknamed R2D2. All in all a pretty productive morning I'd say.

ON THE WORK FRONT: At work we've noticed a run on Aortic Aneurysms. We've had those of the dissecting variety (NOT GOOD), the bulging awaiting repair, and the newly repaired back with higher dissection and need of further intervention. These people won't be on a balloon pump, because, no matter how bad the heart...can't risk blowing the aneurysm...that's usually instant death or pretty close to it.

One elderly gent, who also had an MI and is not a surgical candidate...due to age and other factors....family made a DNR....I guess they thinks that means he will die right away. Actually, he is doing pretty good, and can probably live for years with his condition, if he doesn't do anything strenuous. He's got a few knots on his head from falling...syncope...and they've been doing a lot of adjusting to the BP meds to keep him in the low 100 systolic range. He's is cute as a bug....he only speaks a few words of English....but who can not love somebody who tells you how pretty you are .... every time you go into his room.... in English and in Spanish? Who cares if he has dementia...I like his touch of dementia...it made my day!

My other patient, an elderly lady, had a humongous AAA, not dissecting, but bulging...and found by ACCIDENT on a CT for something else. Imagine coming in for some relatively non-urgent testing and finding out you have a time-bomb literally ... tick tick ticking...with each and every heart-beat....scary as hell. I saw the sucker on the CT scan...and as you scrolled down it got bigger and Bigger and BIGGER....her only symptom...claudication (pain in the legs when walking)! Another case of really tight blood pressure control. The bad thing was that they did an aortagram/angiogram it check her heart out and she had multivessel disease. She had to have open heart surgery. I could not be for certain that she really understood the implications...she could die ... on the table, her prognosis was not good. I asked her about family, and she only had a sibling that lived far away...for HIPPA purposes I'll hit a couple of states away, in the Kentucky, Virgina, Carolina neck of the woods. She had called her sis...who was older than her, and sis was driving down, because she could not afford to fly. Sis was coming ALONE because she was widowed. It was going to take her three days to get there, because she would need to stop and rest. The morning I left she was going to surgery, they came and got her at the butt crack of dawn....I was still there...I went in, and held her hand, and told her I'd pray for her and check on her later in the day. She had tears in her eyes, and she held my hand so tight! I couldn't hardly sleep (that was the day the telephone pole was on fire and we had no electricity). Before I went to sleep around noon, I called CVR and checked on her. She had made it through surgery and was doing good. Praise God! Anyway, when I worked my last shift she was back to the floor and getting ready to go home, after she recovers from this she will be back for the aneurysm repair.

Well, going to put the last sheet of cookies in...and make a run to the neighbor's with all the goodies is tow.

Bible Study...the end of the blog

2009-04-23T06:05:00.001-07:00

My broadband link is slipping here in the blog-o-spere...and somehow the last of my blog was deleted. Here is the end...

God is there when my patient is crashing and burning...putting the idea's in my brain of what to do next. he's there for me...why can't I be there for him...on my day off...? If not for God's grace, I could be one o the poor unemployed, wondering where my next meal was coming from. I just don't appreciate the gifts I have been given.

I promise to do better. But, I still think Bible study would be better attended if they served Margarita's...just suggesting...LOL.

Now...that's the rest of the story.

Going back to bed now. I'm still in sleep deficiet. I really wanted to go to the beach today...if the weather permits...so I gotta get a couple more hours before I can even think about wrangling three weiner dogs with leashes up and down the shoreline.

Wednesday Night Bible Study

2009-04-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

I admit it. I resisted the idea of our small church starting up a bible study program on Wednesdays. I could number my reasons....

1. I work every other Wednesday and would miss sessions in a numbered lesson plan

2. My hubby is teaching, so I would be required to go..even if I don't want to (laziness you know)

3. I jealously guard those days off.

4. I would be expected to go...even if I don't want to...and I simply do not need anymore pressure.

Well I went to the first one last night. There was 5 people there ...Dave and I included. I actually enjoyed it. Even though I had to get our of bed early (on my first day off...I only slept 5 hours with a migraine), looked up all the scriptures (I hate being unprepared for anything), then I actually had to get dressed and do my makeup...on my day off. We were there from 7:30 till 9 pm. It didn't kill me. I got to thinking...well if I didn't work every other weekend, I would be in church every Sunday. Going to church every other Sunday and Bible study every other Wednesday...I'm still only going to church 4 times a month...Gee...I'm giving God like only 8-10 hours out of my life...not counting reading the bible study stuff and praying. I actually felt ashamed. What in the hell was I bitching about anyway??? God gives me more than 9-10 hours a day...He's there when I'm scared, lonely...or just need somebody to talk to. He's there when the no-driving assholes pull out in front of me on my way to work. He's there when my patient is crashing and burning...putting the idea's in my brain of what to do next.

arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-18T01:40:00.001-07:00

Some days I should just keep my nurse ass in the bed. Nuff said.

Todays Post

2009-04-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

Todays post...posted on Gingerjar (apparently I somehow have two blogs on the same blogspot with the same name, so you will just have to check it out), I would retype it but it was long.

Chow.

You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy!

2009-04-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

Had a patient last night that just turned all my cranks. She was funny, pissy, and prim all rolled into one. First thing I had spelled her name wrong on my consent form (seeing as how the day nurse was hogging the chart and I couldn't get any lables). With my fine 50 + eyesight I read an "R" as a "K", so I got my first dressing down due to my inability to spell. This progressed to the "Why the hell haven't I got my Nicotine patch, yet, it's been 3 hours?" Well if you've ever worked in a hospital and got sucked into pharmacy hell, you know 3 hours is really just a short wait...figuratively speaking that is.

One hour later I was able to finally present my patient with her Nicotine patch. She wanted me to put it on "good" so it wouldn't fall off. As soon as I put it on her daughter encouraged her to *breath deep* to get all the *smoke*. Oh, and she was serious!!!! I explained that it was absorbed through the skin. At this point the patient reaches over and scratches the patch, and sniffs. (HUH??) Then she asks..."What? They don't come in scratch and sniff flavors?".

Oh, and my patient mentioned that she was from Kansas...her exact remark..."How would you like to be raised in Wichita Kansas and be named Dorothy?????"

Toto...we're not in Kansas anymore.

Follow the yellow brick road.......

Remembering a patient....

2009-04-06T05:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the busy days, we get so tangled up in all the duties inherent in just nursing, that we forget to listen to the *people* behind the illness. I had a couple of patients lately that I'll probably never forget.

The first was an 88 year old gentleman who was having a bit of confusion at night. His spouse of 63 years (yup 63 years) was there practically every minute of the night and day. She looked surprisingly younger than him. He had three equally attractive children...who came to visit in the evenings, and were very attentive. You could tell from the family dynamics that this was a very close family. I had taken care of the Mr. for several nights, and he was just not getting better. After a battery of tests the physicians told the Mrs. that his heart was too weak for surgery ... and that he just wasn't going to get better. During the night, he took a turn for the worse, was not breathing well, having bursts of arrhythmia. The Mrs. wanted to call the kids for moral support, but decided to wait out the night, and the Mr. actually got a little better at daybreak.

She could not bear to see him waiting out his death in a hospital room, it was tearing her heart out. I suggested she talk to case management about Hospice care, for some reason no one had even mentioned it to her. She took him home after Hospice had lined up oxygen and a hospital bed. She hugged me before I left that morning. I wonder how he is doing now, or if he died. I think I'll always remember her holding his hand and blinking back the tears. It makes me think of me and Dave, and how lost I would be without him. The thought of losing somebody who is your whole life .... that is what he was to her and she was to him, if the thought made me cry I hate to even imagine the reality.

I don't take the newspaper or check out the online obit's, it's just too hard to take sometimes. I know we all have to die, but some people are so nice, and you do form a bond with them and their families. You just wish they could all beat the odds. But then, we would all live forever, then wouldn't we.

Summertime in the Valley....already!

2009-04-04T02:55:00.000-07:00

Wow. So it seems to be summertime here already. Yesterday was breezy and warm...like 86 degrees. The sun was shining and MY MAN was working on installing a pump for our newly drilled well...yee haw!!! Now I feel like a real Texan. I have my very own well with an electric pump and a genuine imitation antique hand pump that actually pumps water. Now if the electricity is off and I am craving a glass of H2O from the ground, all agricultural fertilizers and herbicides inside, I only need to walk out and pump. Of course, in theory, the well is only for "irrigation" because according to our county "laws" we cannot use any of our well water for "residential" usage . Not because of the possibility of fertilizer, herbicides or other contaminates, but because it is the "law" that you must use the water district water if you are within so many feet of a waterline. Now how is that for big brother telling you what to do? Chalk that right up with wearing your seat belt and trash pickup. Oh yes, The County mandates who picks up the trash...for the entire county. The County gets a contract with a company (not necessarily the lowest bid, although I don't understand that one). They kick out the other trash company for "substandard" service and install one that immediately raises the price and lowers the service. The other company actually did a bang-up job following Dolly, but did that get rewarded??? No, their contract was severed and the other big company took their sweet time delivering cans for the "new" customers. It really burns me that everything in this county is so controlled...if you are a citizen that is. Now if you are an illegal alien...and remember I live right next to Mexico....you can dump your trash anywhere you want...ditches, private property, lovely little parks, whatever....seems like the officials cannot catch you, but let anybody else throw out a gum wrapper and the cops are right there with their handy dandy little ticket pads. Just a thought, but since I've moved here I've noticed city and county officials getting handed indictments for just about everything. Could there be a little fraud in this here neck of the woods???? What do you think?

I fell off the Face of the Earth...or something like that...

2009-03-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

Ok Friends in the blogospere...if anybody has been wondering about ol' Gingerjar and what's she been up to, well I've been gone to Kentucky. My mom got sick and was hospitalized. She wasn't doing so good, so we flew there. Now, I haven't flown in almost 30 years...so it was quite the treat for me. I was terrified. I made my hubby go with me...good thing...even with "Navigator" I get lost. Luckily I wasn't driving the plane, or I probably would have ended up in Africa or something.

My mom is doing better and is home now. I told her I wanted to see her while she was still alive, I just don't get the point of going there when she dies to watch my step-dad dump her ashes in the mule pastor (which is her plan by the way). The mule won't care and she won't know if I'm there or not. Since we made an unexpected trip, I jokingly ( or not) told Dave that was our summer cruise, the one we couldn't afford. He was quick to point out he got an all inclusive trip to a resort in Cancun for less than we paid for the plane tickets to Kentucky. What can I say??? Inflation!

We did get to see some interesting "art" that was displayed in the hospital. This glass "jar" was on lighted display with the Artist's name on a brass plate. Everybody that walked past it laughed....if I can figure out how to download the picture from my phone to the computer I will post it...it looked like HUGE GLASS TESTICLES...MULTICOLORED AND TEXTURED JUST LIKE HAIR FOLICLES. I laughed so hard...every time...I *snort* walked *snort* past it! I actually had to rub them. Dave asked if that was like rubbing on Budda's belly...nope...it was just like rubbing Budda Ball's! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Kentuckians must have some strange idea's about art!

Oh, Home on the Range!!!!

2009-02-26T16:44:00.000-08:00

Where the buffolo don't roam..and the wind is blowing kazillion miles per hour! Planned the beach today. Dogs where pumped!!!! Thought they would be eating Turkey wieners and such on the sand, but no such luck. Too much wind. Instead we planted tree's, and marked the back property line. Dave on his shorts and me in my white bekini....in hopes that the wind would die down...not. Well , there is always hope...right??? Anyway, 10 beers and 5 holes (for the tree's later) we have decided it was a productive day off anyhow.

Little Mexico

2009-02-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went to "Little Mexico"...which is the huge flea market in Brownsville, TX. We took a translator (our preacher) so we could actually shop....lol. Anyway, I bought some palm trees for my yard and some other plants. Now, I have to leave my blogging friends and get to work..digging holes and watching Dave repaint the door. He's already had a cow because the "forest" green pain looks grass green in the daylight. Huummmm.... it's the back-door, I don't think anybody will care if it isn't an exact match...but he is Mr. Perfect, what more can I say????

Bad Company

2009-02-17T20:09:00.001-08:00

Rock n Roll baby...Bad Company, Pink Floyd ... and my hubby dancing Nakkid with a black cowboy hat...that and a glass with coke and whiskey...now that's what I call a perfect night off.

What's Black and Hairy and....

2009-02-15T06:06:00.000-08:00

What's black and hairy and sitting at the end of a drive-way on the way home to my house from work yesterday???? Is it a dog??? Is it a cow??? Is it a goat, you may ask. It was neither, either any of these common things. It was in fact...it appeared to be... let me be clear right here...I was neither inebriated nor was I drugged up...I was not in fact even sleepy....but sitting right there in somebodies driveway was one of the fugliest (yes a f##king ugly) BIG BLACK HAIRY MONKEY!!! Or maybe it was an orangutan or a small gorilla type primate...what ever the hell it was it was staring back at me....and turning it's head to watch me pass. NO...IT WAS NOT ONE OF THOSE UGLY CONCRETE GORILLA'S that people think it is cute to dress up with a red bandanna and a flag in it's hand. It wasn't a cut-out and it wasn't an apparition (well I hope not anyway)...as best I could tell it wasn't even a visual hallucination. I slowed down, I considered going back and checking it out again...but then I remembered that primates (other than humans) can be quite territorial and aggressive.

I considered calling 911...I played out the scenario in my head. "911...what's your Emergency?" " Well, sir, you see...there is this monkey sitting at the end of a drive-way" , "A monkey, are you sure lady?" "Yes, sir, a monkey!" "And how would a monkey sitting at the end of a drive-way constitute an emergency?" "Well sir, somebody may have a wreck when they see him...or he may impede traffic in someway..he is a wild animal you know?" "Well lady...what exactly was this alleged monkey doing when you spied him sitting at the end of a drive-way?" "Well, he appeared to be acting like a monkey and picking his nose and eating boogers," "Lady, are you sure that isn't a kid?".....well not likely I would be reporting that little critter.

Monkey's ...running wild in Texas...Monkeys...when you see one, there must be more of them. Used to, I thought Monkeys were the precursor to death in the ICU unit I used to work in. When-ever I would have a patient close to death they would start seeing monkeys in their room...monkey's on the ceiling...monkey's in the corner's...frisky monkey's everywhere...the patients would beg me to rid their room of monkey's! I asked a co-worker what was up with my patients seeing monkey's in their rooms...she informed me her patients saw bug's in the room...huge spiders and cock-roaches...We decided that my monkey's must be chasing her bugs out. Never did figure that one out.

Monkeys...in Texas...not in a zoo...go figure...what is this world coming to???

And the Wind Blow's wildly!!!

2009-02-08T15:40:00.000-08:00

Wow. We are having wind gusts...in excess of 40 mph. No sprinkles yet, but a kite hasn't got a chance in hell today of survival! I've had a tough few weeks at work.

Baratric nursing: Nursing care of the morbidly obese. Well I don't know what the exact definition of morbidly obese is...since I had a Doctor tell me I was very obese...at 180 lb and 5'8"...which pissed me off to no means! Made me want to gain more weight just to spite him...the skinny so and so.

Well our hospital is getting geared up to start doing baratric surgery. They have prepared by getting special "bari" beds and giving us "sensativity" training. What I have noticed they have not done....is get any kind of lift device or lift aid to help the nurse's caring for the post surgical patient's. I recently had a pt who weighed #681 pounds. He was miserable. He was in respiratory distress; with C-pap ....the man couldn't breath. They had him in a "bari" bed. I had to use a stool to reach him to do any care...suctioning....anything (and I am a tall woman!). He was not doing well on my shift..I managed to get a second line in him (I felt like the IV Diva!) and just before 7 a.m. he vomited and aspirated. The bed was up as high as it would go to sit him up, and there was literally nothing I could do except suction and bag him as I called for the rapid response team. Thank-fully since my respiratory therapist had been working closely with me all night, we were able to keep him oxygenated enough this way...but he was going downhill fast. We had to move him to ICU, which was no small feat in itself because the ER doc was hesitate to attempt to tube him (short neck, adipose tissue) due to probably only having one shot...and if he didn't get the tube the 1st time the man would die. So here we go down the hall with every man we could snag...ER Nurses, ER MD, all the floor nurses but one...it took 8 people just to push the bed, bagging all the way. THEN the HUGE BED got stuck in the ICU room's doorway... it was literally forced through the door (GUESS WHAT...NO ONE HAD THOUGHT TO MEASURE THE DOOR TO BED RATIO WHEN THE BEDS WERE ORDERED TO BE SURE THERE WAS ENOUGH CLEARANCE TO GET THE DAMNED BED INTO A ROOM WITH THE BED-RAILS UP!!!!) . We were still bagging...thank God the Respiratory Therapist was on the head side of the bed, stuck in the room. We finally got the bed unstuck ... now we know the trick for transport, let the rails down before going into the room, and hope like hell the patient doesn't fall out!

Update....that was 4 weeks ago. Pt was surgically intubated, then later trached and now he is doing well, and has lost almost 200 lbs, the first 50 was probably all fluid. He is getting his strength back, and communicating...sitting up watching tv. He's a really nice guy, I sure am glad he made it !

10 honest things.

2009-01-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

Nogging Blogging nominated me for an award...I am so honored. I think the rules are that you have to tell 10 honest things about yourself then nominate 7 more people.

1. I am so uninformed that I do not know how to pick up an award or post it on my page.

2. I truely and honestly love my hubby with all my heart.

3. I hate to clean closets...even when forced.

4. My worst Christmas was when I was 13 and my step-father CLYDE made us clean closets after we opened our Christmas presents. I remember crying the whole time. It was absolute torture!

5. Three people who have died I did not cry for...and maybe even deep in my heart I was a little glad they were gone and couldn't hurt anybody else. One died of old age, one died because he was murdered (couldn't have happened to a better person) and one I blogged about died in a one-man roll over alcohol induced accident.

6. I love vanilla ice cream...plain...no sprinkles...no chocolate...no frills.

7. I love my two boys totally.

8. I love being a nurse...although sometimes I burn out and want to veg at home.

9. I have a love / hate relationship with my mother...and have to BITE my tongue every time I talk to her (and chant in my head...remember she is old and humor her...remember she is in Kentucky and can't control you...remember that she is old and humor her..)

10. I love wearing bikini's even though God knows I'm 50 lbs too heavy and 25 years too old to do so. Thank God for backyards!

Now I nominate for the "Scrape Award"

darn...how the heck do you insert blog-sites in here?????

Head Nurse
Thoughts from the Nightshift
Red Dirt Woman
Wonderful World of Weiners
Blender Kimmy
Begger-shot-glass

darn, I cannot remember anybody else right now.

Follow-up and other Stuff....

2009-01-29T04:42:00.000-08:00

I went back to see the doctor yesterday, and the ta-ta's pic's are fine. The problem I was having (Pain, swelling and tenderness) resolved mysteriously after the ta-ta's were in the vise-grip of the x-ray machine...which was a very puzzling thing...maybe a lymph node was all jacked up or something. The doctor is clueless as am I. So, today I get to go and have some bloodwork done to check homone levels and stuff. Hopefully this problem will stay resolved.

When I was a child I had an injury to my left breast (I was 11). I was helping my grandma draw water from the cistren (we didn't have running water). We didn't have an actual well cover, but there were boards that were placed over the well to keep the cats from falling in (we had one cat named Leo that fell in and drowned causing grandpa to have to drain the well (by hand) and clean the well (accomplished by my uncle lowering him down into the 30-50 foot depth with a pully and rope. I remember that well, because I watched it all happen. My grandma was afraid that grandpa would get stuck in the well (rope break or something)...or have a heart attack and we wouldn't be able to get him out...but it all turned out fine. We never used the cistren water for drinking...it was bathing and clothes washing water only, all our drinking water was hauled from town in the old 5 gallon milk cans.

Anyway, back to the story. I was 11 and I was drawing water from the cistren/well. The boards were turned over so I could get the bucket out. When I leaned across to pick the bucket up off of the pully, there was a rusty nail sticking up out of the board (that I didn't see or know was there) and I leaned across it puncturing my nipple. I just remember it was horribly painful...and I was so embarrassed and I didn't tell anybody. I just sat down until the pain went away and I was able to breath again! I didn't know it at the time, but I formed a blood clot in that part of my anatomy. Several years later I had to go to the doctor because the blood clot broke loose and I had mastitis at the grand old age of 16, then again at age 17. My mother was madder than hell that I had hidden this injury from her. The mastitis was bad enough the doctor almost put me in the hospital to put me on IV antibotics. Then when I had my kids I nursed my second child and I had two or three severe bouts of mastitis on the same side that had to be treated with oral antibotics. So I was righously concerned when I suddenly started having a problem (again) with no precipitating factors. It is rather unusual for a woman of my age (past child-bearing age) who's had a hysterectomy, to have this type of problem...because face it...these ta-ta's arn't producing anything! I'm a nurse...and I was too embarrassed to take it to the doctor until I couldn't stand it anymore...I first blamed it on starting to work out at the gym and quit all upper body exercises...it still did not clear up. Then I thought maybe I really needed to get it checked out because I have been on estrogen therapy for 9 years...and that is a factor sometimes in tumor developement. I read and studied up on the internet as you can tell...LOL. Right now, the problem has resolved, mostly, but the doctor wants to do some follow-up bloodwork, which I will be submitting my precious blood for today.

Oh, and have you ever noticed that when there is a part of your body that is in pain...everything either bumps it or hurts it. The dogs want to stand with their feet ... where??? On your chest...most particularly on the sore side. Patient "accidently" punches you...not once...but twice while you are trying to start an IV ...where???? You got it...in the sore ta-ta. Ring the bell Mike Tyson...I'm going in for round three. I managed two months of pain with my friend "Alieve" before I gave in and went for the *painful* mamogram. If I had know it would *help* and relieved the problem I wouldn't have waited so long. So Girl-Friends....don't put off the exam's...just do it and get it over with!

A Beautiful Day to Be alive

2009-01-21T08:45:00.001-08:00

OK, so I am feeling optimistic today, very optimistic. I went yesterday to get the ta-ta's squished...and a cold read showed "normal". This made me very relieved as I've been having a problem for a couple of months now...and just finally gave in to going to the doctor. I have to go back next week. Maybe the fix will be something as simple as a hormone adjustment. You know us women, we think of the worst possible scenario's when anything is going wrong. I had decided if there was any cutting to be done I would op for that procedure where they pull the tummy up and use your own fat for reconstruction. Then if I had to have any medicine that would make my hair fall out I wanted to cut my hair and have a wig made out of it. Yes, I flew all up and down the scale of absurbity. So, here I sit .... optimistic and relieved.

Blazing Oven of Fury

2009-01-16T03:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, maybe not a blazing oven of fury...but certainly a blazing oven....a really blazing oven....one that was on fire so bad, I dare not use it to cook on (all the insulation burned out of the top and I'm not sure what it may have done to the electrical wires). I wanted a new oven. Yes, we can even say, I lusted for a new oven...but I *did not* intentionally touch that oven with the intent to commit oven murder. Actually, Dave and I had been out and had a few beers (the beginning of poor judgement), I decided to toast some pecans for a *healthy* snack to go with the few beers we had at the house. Then I made two mistakes (on top of drinking beer and attempting to use an appliance). I placed the pan too close to the top element and I *forgot* to set the timer.

We are sitting there watching my taped "American Idol" and listening to the good, the bad and the ugly....when Miss Abigail's nose goes into the air. Then Miss Izzadora's nose goes up and she begins shaking all over. We look up, and there is smoke literally boiling out of the oven. We run into the kitchen and the pecans are blazing. I made the common error of opening the oven door (never do that....it allows oxygen in...and do you know what oxygen does to a fire???). Licks of flame roared out of the oven and up to the stove top (I was SHOCKED). DAVE (enter the big strapping man on a white horse!) slams the door closed, turns off the electricity, pulls the stove out from the wall and unplugs it. By now the entire house is filled with horrible smelling smoke. To my complete amazement...although the smoke was making us cough and choke...none of our smoke detectors went off. Dave checked the batteries in the smoke detector's...and the battery's were fine and the smoke detector's tested normally....but with the dense smoke...they still did not go off.

Today we went and chose a new stove. Dave went with Gas since he does most of the cooking....my thought was..."he trust's me with gas????" Tomarro I am gonna look into replacing those worthless smoke detectors.

Update on my friend *L*: She has been extubated but is still *not there*. I appreciate the comments from my friends. I am trying to not let it get me down. I am going to visit her tomarro after I attend a mandatory class.

A Tribute To a Friend

2009-01-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

For my friend *L*

She lies silent in her hospital bed,
her brilliant blue eyes are closed.
A machine breaths in and out for her,
She cannot even wiggle her toes.

Lights are dimmed, voices hushed
and wires run to and fro.
Every two hours shes positioned and turned
She remains silent and can't even moan.

The New Year started with such promise,
what was in her mind we'll never know.
Her Husband went partying without her
came home to find her lying still and cold.

Now why she was in such despair
her friends and kids can only speculate,
for she left not a letter, an email, a note
when she decided to self medicate.

Could it have been a horrible accident?
Could a word from me changed her fate?
Could I have done something to stop her?
If I'd only talked to her that last day?

For you see, in retrospect thinking
for hindsight is 20/20 they suggest.
I'd noticed some bruises on her face
and decided to mind my own business.

Knowing now what I didn't know then,
I am weighed down in remorse.
If I'd pulled her aside and spoken,
Could my words have altered her course?

So she lies silent in her hospital bed
Her brilliant blue eyes are shut
and her friends, co-workers and kids
We never knew we'd miss her this much.

Day In the Sun

2009-01-08T15:17:00.000-08:00

If anybody is reading...that like my mom is in Kentucky with white stuff falling around their ears....eat your heart out...today I laid out in my back-yard in my bekini and actually got sun-burned...with 15spf sunscreen on. God I love being so close to the equator. Now, if I just had another extra day off I could have had a little drink with an umbrella in my hand! Non-the-less my winter blah's are much better (notice I didn't even blog for almost two weeks?).

Sunny, hot today...but windy and cloudy tomorrow when I will be officially off. Glad I got to soak up some natural antidepressant!

Extra Day Off...

2009-01-08T01:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I was put on call tonight. That was good right, except, exactly like last time, it was a night we were all bringing a special dinner for one of our Traveler's that is leaving and tonight was her last night. I had already prepared my food, had it heating in the crockpot. I had already loaded the promised doggie kennel (for her kitten to travel in) and was just about ready to go. So I killed time until about 10:15 , then I headed off to the hospital with my food in tow. We actually had a very good feast...and visit.

The only bad thing was that I asked about my patient I was taking care of in ICU the last day I worked. I had left after hanging blood for her that morning (Jan. 5...Monday Morning). I noticed that her room was empty and thought she had probably moved out and downgraded, because except for being anemic she was actually looking somewhat better. Imagine my shock when I found out that she had another gastric bleed (or her clips popped off, or she had another ulcer that ruptured), and that she actually coded and died. The traveler that is leaving was taking care of her that night. She had already called the doc that she didn't look good, and he was actually back on his way in and a team had been called to re-scope her, but she coded before they got there.

So...now I'm sad. She was a sweet little old granny, who had kept me pretty busy all night, so time really flew. We had bathed her and used my lavendar baby powder stash on her, and she was so appreciative of smelling good. Somebody who loved her had painted her fingernails and toenails bright pink. She had tattooed eyeliner and eybrows. I bet she was one hot chick in the day. It makes me sad to think of her life chapter ending.

Christmas coming....continued

2008-12-20T03:40:00.000-08:00

Darned FoxFire and Internet connection: I was on a roll when off goes my connection and I lost my blog. The only way to get it is to publish the draft and now it won't let me go in and edit.

Back to where I was. (Five years ago before I met him)

Dave was T-boned by an 18-wheeler pulling a low-boy trailer loaded with heavy, oilfield equipment. He had a head injury, a broken jaw, fractured vertebrae, whip-lash, and his right leg was crushed from about 5 inches below the hip joint all the way to the knee. He underwent extensive surgery on the leg. He was unable to work and was in physical therapy for over a year. He had to use his 401 K to live on, eventually had to file bankruptcy while he was waiting on his disability determination and workman's comp. That accident destroyed his life as he knew it. To add insult to injury, the DPS officer who worked the accident gave HIM a citation for at fault, although he CLEARLY had a head injury, had experience loss of consciousness and was unable to tell them exactly what happened, at the scene.

He went to court to fight it, Worker's Comp told him he did not need a lawyer...and since he was an honest man, he thought all he had to do was describe the accident and all would be ok. Not. The 18 - wheeler driver had pulled off the road, into the dirt right-of-way on the RIGHT side of the highway, he did not have on any lights, no blinkers, it was dusk. Dave continued down the road, he said there was so much dust from the 18-wheeler going off the right side of the road, that HE COULD NOT EVEN SEE the 18-wheeler....he thought the truck had pulled over to stop, .....instead the driver was swinging wide to turn LEFT into a side road. The Truck driver proceeded to turn left, not seeing Dave (remember all the dust) and T-boned him on the passenger side of Dave's vehicle. DPS did not cite the Truck Driver...who did not have on his running lights, or a turn signal, and who had in fact left the road-way. They did not take the driver to the ER for the STATE REQUIRED post-accident breath analyzer and drug testing....
Small community, small town judge, good-ol'-boy community, Dave's amazing inability to think he needed a lawyer. His ticket stood, so he was therefore deemed unable to sue the trucking company that HIT HIM! He lost everything! His job, his health, his faith, and almost his sanity. He went from never being late on any bill....with an excellent credit rating, to barely able to pay his morgage. He let his vehicle go back, he moved into an RV, his wife (at the time) blamed him for the change in their lifestyle...mostly she hated him because she had to go back to work. She had him placed on multiple anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. She turned him almost into a Zombie. He was miserable. She wanted out, and he gave her a divorce. HER LOSS, MY GAIN.

He took himself off all the psycho meds. He found out he was still worthy of love. Still, his macho....I'm the man, I should be earning the living .... gets in the way sometimes. It takes an act of Congress to get the man to take a muscle relaxant or a pain pill, when his leg is spasmed to the point it looks like the rod is going to break and all the pins and orthopedic paraphanilia is going to pop right out of the skin. He has refused to use his cane, to the point that he can barely walk at times. He refuses to use his handicap parking tag, we park out in Bum F.... Egypt and he is sometimes pale and almost falling down by the time we get into a store. Yet, his family, thinks he has life made....he has a wife who works, and he gets to "sit home" all day (night).

What the hell is wrong with those people? You would think that his family...who know him best, would know that being a stay at home husband is the last thing in the world Dave would ever want. He misses his job, he was an instrument technician and electrical engineer for a gas-plant in West Texas. He was also an assistant minister at a church I won't name. He lost that position because he couldn't PAY for a RENEWAL on some kind of ministry license required by their faith (WTF????) ... but, mainly the Primary Pastor couldn't use him anymore because he was not able to stand and preach, and he was having depression and not at a point where he was ready to be teaching Sunday School or going to retreats...What kinda church would not take up an offering and pay for that "required" license???? I'm good old, bible belt Baptist, our ministers get "the calling" and get ordained. I don't think they have to pay any fee based anything, to preach. He didn't get paid to preach, he preached from the heart.

Whew....got all that crap out didn't I??? ANYWAY, where I was going with the whole kit and kaboodle was that Dave doesn't want me to buy him anything...and I love buying him stuff he wants....that we can afford. He goes out of his way...everyday to make my life easy and to let me know how much he loves me and appreciates me. I truely am the most loved and luckiest woman on the face of the earth!

Christmas...a time for giving...to those we love, to those who are in need, to our church and to our community. I was I had the money that Donald Trump has...I would give it all away...

Ready or not...here it comes: Christmas

2008-12-20T03:28:00.000-08:00

Wow, for somebody who wasn't shopping much this Christmas, I sure have been wrapping a lot of stuff! I must just be a shop-a-holic! It's like, I see something...and it's , "hummmm Dave would sure look fantastic in that". He wan't a Harley for Christmas...but that isn't happening! Rich we ain't! But, hummm, nice warm snuggly clothes, something special to go with his guitars, a little of this and a little of that!

I'm excited ... I love having an excuse to buy stuff for him, because most of the time he won't let me spend money on him. He is so paranoid because his family tells him he is a "kept" man and that I am his "sugar momma". Sometimes I just want to smack them. They try to take his man-hood away, just because he can't work anymore. He cleans house and does the yard-work. At home he can work at his speed, and when his injured leg and back start giving him too much pain he can sit down and rest. He cannot walk up and down metal staircases anymore, he cannot do oil-field lifting, he cannot walk very far without agonizing pain...yet they want to make him feel "less than the best" for something that is out of his control. Dave was on the job, working for a petroleum company, when the company vehicle was T-boned by a

Time to Blog

2008-12-13T10:00:00.000-08:00

Lately, it seems like there is just not enough hours in the day. Friday, I got off at 8:15 a.m. and was too tired to go to the gym. I did not think I would make the eight mile drive home. Good thing I only experienced one red light (no going to sleep at the wheel drama there, thank God). I got home, fixed me a snack (night shift had eatten early because we had a spread for Jose who is going to days), so I was 9 hours without food. I could have snacked again when everybody else was, but I am trying to be good. So I come home and blow my diet with a chicken sandwich with a beer. Then 5 seconds later I'm out like a light in the chair. I decided that I was that totally sleepy because I ate mega-carbs...pizza and cake.

I slept most of Friday away, and got up just as the sun was going down. It was certainly crisp outside. Dave was burning the branches from the mesquite tree and it smelled so good. Then we watched t.v. until the wee hours. I have been up since about 8 since I couldn't sleep (night-shift) and by the time Dave gets up I'll be sleepy again. I hate having everything backwards, but I love working nights. I love that I can look though the charts and actually get a real grasp on what is going on with my patient's, instead of just pushing pills and papers all day. I love that my co-workers are my friends...I would hang out with them anytime. I'm blessed to have a job that I love.

Dave doesn't get why I like to blog. It's my de-stresser. Who needs Xanax when they have blogger? Who needs Ativan when they can go and read other peoples blogs. I don't lead an exciting life...and I am easily entertained, LOL, I figure this beats watching info-mercials for junk I don't want.

Guess it's time to try to wake up the sleeping prince, so we can go get out Christmas tree.

Christmas Cards

2008-12-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, I have been working non-stop for 4 hours making out Christmas cards. The only problem, is that I cannot seem to just do a christmas card without writting a note too...I just never have time to write all the letters I would like to. But, wow, when I start making out my cards, it's like, oh, I need to write her! or him! But, no body ever seems to write back. When I moved here to our new place I sent out umteen billion cards and letters. I got one letter back from one of my old friends in Beaumount...and that is all. One letter. I slaved for days handwritting dozens of letters and only one person had the manners to send a letter back. One person. Who I immediately wrote back to. One person. We can get on the internet for hours and hours...but we cannot put a pen to paper to communicate with a friend.

Speaking of communication. Dave is a genius with electrical stuff. He doesn't have an electrician license, but working at the gas-plant he was an instrumentation and electrical technician (with all their specialized training). So I have had to listen to all this electrical greek while he is figuring out what all he needs to install an outside outlet for the Christmas lights and timers. Granted, we already have an outlet, but it isn't "GFI" (?) PROTECTED and it wouldn't handle the load and the outside yada yada yada is not weather proof, and blah and blah and blah and blah....my eyes have been glazed over for at least 15 minutes...yet he continues to explain over and over what he is doing and why he is doing it...which he finishes with: "Well do you want me to wire it Hot or Cold?" Duh, as in "HOT" is fry your ass like a Christmas Turkey....and "Cold" is .... finish the hell up with your blogging and shut the computer down so I can work on the electrical outlet..... HUMMMMMMMMMMMM....how much insurance did I say I took out on you???? Just kidding....and on that note folks...guess I got to shut er down.

Have a great day.

And a Shoe Went to Flying

2008-12-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have now officially vowed never, never, never to go shopping on Black Friday again. Yes, I was lured by the possibility of some great bargains...yes I was lured by the promise of a very inexpensive, greatly discounted (if you could find it in the right size and color) leather Jacket I wanted for my honey for Christmas. Maybe it was the working 12 hours and then heading straight to the store, but somehow it was more than I bargained for. I'm looking at jackets and a beautiful cream colored dress shoe comes flying over the racks and nearly hits me. I cannot understand such frantic intensity for shopping. Darn, if that pair of shoes was so great, why is one on one side of the aisle and the other over there assulting my head???? Then I get home and later hear about some poor worker getting trampled in Wal-Mart of all places. Like, Wal-Mart is gonna run out of stuff to sale...no happening. And, Toyz-R-Us...who ever heard of people being murdered over toys. What in the hell is wrong with people. What happened to Christmas Spirit, what happened to manners, when did everything become me, mine, and I want. Somebody needs to spank these people!

Code Blue

2008-11-21T08:48:00.000-08:00

Last shift I worked, I came in to get report. J had recieved a new pt, who honestly, looking from the door looked like the foot was on the bannana peel. I asked her "why's he here and not in ICU?". "Oh, well they will have a room for him when the relief gets here...". "Ok, I tell her, I'll get report on the rest of my patient's from the other nurse and by that time the ICU nurse will be ready for report...no need in giving report to me...and me giving a 2nd hand report to ICU is there?" "Uh, OK she agreed (relunctantly because she really wanted to just leave and go home). She had had a long day. I had given report to her in ICU that morning and she had transferred patient's out and they had floated her to tele and given her a butt-load of admits. She looked like she had been basically run through the ringer.

Half-way through my report, J interrupts to tell me that the Powers-That-Be had decided to leave the patient in Tele because "he is doing better" (!). I asked her, if any of them had stepped out of their ivory office to take a peek at the man, because he doesn't look too good. She assured me that he looked better than he had on arrival, and had on his C-Pap and was resting.

I finished my report, then she starts giving me report on the "Banana Peel" guy, I'm looking in the door and I stop her cold...."Let's just go in the room, so I can be checking him out while you're talking, because to me he doesn't look good". "He's got a foley, and it's draining good, and he got lasix and he had C-pap, he's X-years old, and he seems to have some sort of sleep......."

At this point I interupt her, my stethoscope on his chest...."He ain't breathing!" "Uh, she says, his chest is going up and down.." "Yup...that's the C-pap working...he doesn't have any lung sounds..." I start trying to wake him up, shaking him ... doing sternal rubs...calling his name. Hey, J , was he responsive when you were in here...? "He was talking to me", she says. "Well something ain't right now...he's out of it...is he diabetic (I'm observing the ring of sweat on the bed, feeling the patient's skin which is diaphoretic and pale). "No"...

GET THE CRASH CART NOW.....I call the Supervisor for rapid response team, and call respiratory for rapid response team.

The Supervisor comes in and I let the Powers-that-Be know the situation...IE: He isn't moving any air, but he has a pulse and is sinus rhythem...

By this time respiratory is there and checking the O2 sat...which was to say the least dismal....We hit the button...Code Blue...and the rest of the team arrives. The er Doc tubes the guy, but they cannot get it in position, and bagging him is making him puff up like a puffer frog. The man had two docs working on him trying to get him intubated and an OG To get the air out of his stomach. In between we were getting good sats with bagging, just blowing him up like a puffer frog. Mid-way through he had a seizure (damn that sure isn't a good sign!), they finally got him tubes and over to ICU...where they had to CALL IN THE ICU nurse they had put on call. Didn't save any money there folks.

Last I saw, the guy was still tubed and looking pinker, but sedated...don't know how that will turn out. J stopped on her way out 2 hours late and thanked me for looking at the guy with "new eyes", because to her he looked better, and sometimes appearances can be deceiving.

The rest of my night was pretty good except I had one patient that the family even wanted me to come out of the CODE because their mom had some blood in her spit....hello....that's not life threatening...I'll be there when I'm thru here...saving a life...got it folks??? Later they complained to management that "I wasn't treating them right"....hummmm was it the code when I wouldn't desert my patient to look at spit...or was it me asking them to quit sucking her tonsils out through the yanker because she was gagging and that was putting her in pain (gallstones people!!!) and we had just pulled out the femoral line and there was that little bitty thing about possibly causing her to start bleeding....YOU KNOW talking common sense to the contrary!!!!??? I'm just a bitch I guess. Anyhow, my boss just shook her head...and went to her office..., you just cannot please everybody and GIVE GOOD CARE at the same time!

Wal-mart Go-Cart's!!!!

2008-11-13T06:03:00.001-08:00

Yesterday at Walmart there was this little old man on the handicap cart. One foot sported a blue foam foot guard and the other an ugly podiatry shoe...the kind you were after surgery. He was over in the dairy section looking at milk, he swung around and did a "U' turn , then he swung around and made it into a doughnut...then he did it about 4 more times. The funniest thing: the look he gave me.

Milk: $2.89
Cottage Cheese: $3.89
Blue Shoe: $25.00
Looking cool on the Wal-mart Go-Cart: "Priceless"

Add to it all the toothless grin full of wonder.....I was giggling all the way to the check-out.

Just do it.

2008-11-10T08:28:00.001-08:00

The whole USA only 40-50 cases ANNUALLY of TETNUS...if you get a puncture wound, or a sore, just do it...get the shot. Nothing like being one of the few nurses in the whole USA caring for somebody with TETNUS...to learn more than ya want to ever know about LOCKJAW.

Did you know that if you have lockjaw:

1. You require respiratory support...ie...a trach, because much liike meningitis ya cannot bend your neck.

2. That you will have TETNANY all over which means you are like in a spasm all over...particularly your face...ie: LOCKJAW. (kinda like grinding your teeth all night long, except with a bite block in...and loosened or broken teeth)

3. You probably won't live no matter what is done for you, because by the time it is reconized, being so rare and all, it is usually too late.

LOCKJAW...TETNUS...ANOTERH SUCKY WAY TO DIE.

JUST DO IT...GET IMMUNIZED!

Damn, I guess you can tell it was another hellious night.....tucking bundles of ice packs under 102.8 degreee armpits....

Damn, one more beer and I may just be unwound enough to go to bed. I think I've gritted my teeth all shift trying to do everything I can....wish I could just make everybody well. No body deserves to suffer like this.

The Giggle Box Turn Over

2008-11-06T02:52:00.000-08:00

When I was little I spent a lot of time at my Aunt Corabell's with my cousin Jimbo. We would giggle and tell secrets all night. My Aunt would knock on the door and tell us "hush up in there and go to sleep" and Jimbo would always answer "I can't Ginger knocked my gigglebox over!" That would set us off into another gale of laughter! I miss those days.

Well recently I had two incidents that knocked my gigglebox over. I actually woke up thinking about them and now I have to blog or I'll never get back to sleep.

Two weeks ago R had a patient that was in the middle group. I had A side, so I knew nothing about her patients. Half of her call bells ring at my station, and half of the call bells ring at the other station, so if she is on the other side, we answer the call bells. Well, one of her call bells was going off and I couldn't find the aide so I went to see what the lady needed. Well her daughter tells me she needs pulled up.

Now here a little physical description can go a long way: She was like 4 foot tall and really really round. She had very large bosom's and a double chin. I'm looking at her and thinking "Man, no way can I handle this alone." I go looking for reinforcements.

Everybody is busy. P is prepping a patient for surgery. I can't ask her to leave this man naked except for a towel and half his body hair in a cold room. R is in another patient room with a patient who is going south in a hurry and obviously she can't come. I go back to the room and tell the daughter it will be a little bit because everybody is busy. The daughter gets pissed at me and offers to help. I instruct her how to do it without hurting herself, and she's not really listening to me, so we get the pull pad and 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Nothing...this ladies butt is literally glued to the bed. Again, 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Nothing. I'm thinking "Damn...what the heck". I put her in reverse trendlenburg , "OK Honey, we've got to stand you on your head and let gravity help us out a little here." 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!!! Well she moves like 3 inches...and mind you, she was already all the way to the foot of the bed. Ok, I think, this really is not working. I put her back down flat and go and get another aide from the other side.

On the way to the room, I explain the problem. We get in the room and I put the patient back in trendlenburg and M gets on the other side. 1-2-3 HEAVE!!!! Ok, that daughter must have really been a wimp! Granny goes flying to the top of the bed, pillow behind the top of her head, up against the head of the bed, face between her massive breasts with the funniest look I've ever seen on a person's face. I look at her, I look at M and *choke* *cough*. "Oh my God miss, you've got head crunch here", I state as I straighten out the pillow and put the bed back up. M looks at Granny and *snort* lips twitch...she looked at me...I look at Granny who is trying to rearrange her neck rolls and bosom's and I literally lost it. I had to run out into the hallway. I was giggling and my mascara was running. My gigglebox turned over...I had to go into the doctor's dictation room because I was howling with laughter...and I could NOT stop. Co-workers were looking at me like I was deranged. GIGGLEBOX turnover I would snort and start laughing again. I laughed a full thirty minutes. I think stress had just caught up with me, I sure let it all rip! When it was all over I had no makeup left. I had to go to the bathroom to repair the damage. It was freaking hilarious!

Then last week I was taking care of a tubed patient and she had an air leak in the endotracheal tube. When the tube leaks the patient makes this funny gurgle sound that they should not be able to make. So the other nurse training me tells me to call respiratory and tell them the tube is leaking. I'm like, well can't we just add 1/2 cc of air until they get here? So we do...no problem.

I go to the phone, I phone respiratory and I'm telling F about it. Now we got this nurse that is from Kentucky working with us...her and I hold the trophy for hillbilly talking. No body seems to be able to understand us sometimes. So I'm telling F (who is Hispanic) about the cuff leak, and he doesn't understand me...so I repeat it...only the second time instead of cuff leak I say:

"The lady in Bed 7 has a cuff link in her ET tube". I realize what I said and I start laughing. I try to recover....I look to my right and M is rolling around in her chair snickering, I look at Ms. Kentucky and she is literally rolling her eyes and laughing...."uh, guess ya'll heard that huh?". F is still on the phone...and he's like" what, what, how did she get a cuff link in there?" I'm like...."no, no, damn it , you know what I meant!".

Well, they are still teasing me about the "cuff link"...hey...Gingerjar...was that Gold or Silver Cuff Link that lady had in her ET Tube????

Giggle Box Turn Over...God...I love my job!

Bracelet giveaway

2008-11-06T02:50:00.000-08:00

Oh, in case I didn't do it right here is the other blogspot id for the giveaway:

http://www.blogger.com/profile/05605214202876973830

I'm not computer literate to know how to insert a link into my post. Just not sophisticated I guess.

Bracelet giveaway: Follow the blogspot!!!

2008-11-06T02:45:00.000-08:00

Aleta is giving away a beautiful bracelet. You can get all the rules and details here:

http://fleurdealeta.blogspot.com

All you have to give up is a holiday memory....Isn't that easy!!!!

Darn I wish I had time to craft! I'm making my grand-daughters quilts...but they are the easy kind that don't take any real thinking to do. I just work on them in front of the tv, while the dogs snuggle down under my handiwork. I love doing it, and it is very relaxing. Between that and the gym I am probably the most kicked back ICU nurse you can imagine!

Fall has Arrived

2008-11-01T06:32:00.000-07:00

Wow! November already. I have so many things I need to do. Decorate for Thanksgiving (although I will be working), start my Christmas shopping (Samm's Warehouse...look out), clean house (never ending job).

It's chill here...just a little touch in the air. Yesterday I got off work early enough to actually see a sunrise!!!! It was amazing. The pinks, oranges, golds and that deep deep velvet blue of the tail end of the night. I was just really amazed! Working nights, I usually don't get off work till about 9 a.m. and then I've been trying to go to the gym, so I have sunshades on most days! I got off work yesterday at 7:10. I cannot remember ever leaving work so early.

I worked ICU, and I had my vented patient fairly stable with only one drip running and Good to go for surgery. Basically had nothing to do for her except titrate the drip and chart because had explicit orders not to turn her or do anything that could dislodge the temporary pacer lines inserted through her groin into her heart. It's been awhile since I've worked with a temp pacer and I had to look some stuff up. That's ok, since I'm re-training for ICU I had "people" who could "tell" me what to do...but I'm very particular. I like to know why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how everything is suppose to work...that way if it isn't working properly I know it before it becomes a problem! The patient only understood Spanish, so I would explain everything to the daughter who would translate. The nurse "training" me didn't like me explaining so much, but you know, the family is scared...they are scared their mother is dying, they need to know what I am doing and why I am doing it. They need to know what is planned for their mom to help "fix" her heart. They don't need false hope that "everything is gonna be ok". Their mom would not be in ICU with a tube down her throat and a billion wires everywhere if she was "ok".

I can't tell them what happened to her or why it happened...she came to us from another facility...they were just lucky as hell she was actually in the hospital when she coded. She got timely well performed CPR. She is actually able to communicate a little even with a tube. If that had happened at home, she probably would have been brain-dead by the time an ambulance would have gotten to her! So, even it she is intubated, she has still got a real fighting chance at living. I cannot tell you how many times we code a patient...and even if we get a heart rhythm and vent them for breathing, how many times it is just delaying death by only a few hours. This lady...she is aware of where she is, she can nod her head to questions, she was mouthing her daughters name when she was out of the room, she was following simple commands. I hope her surgery went well, I think she is going to be one of the lucky ones!

Careless Words

2008-10-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I start obsessing or thing about things from the past. You know...things you can't change or get out of your head. You forget then boom...so some reason the little niggly thought is there again. Careless words, careless thoughts, carelessness with a loved ones heart. Maybe carelessness is why I felt like my mother didn't really love me...I was just a burden, another brat...and a female one at that. Female brats are evil and untrustworthy. A mother must always be smarter, thinner, younger and sexier at all times, especially once that girl-child begins to grow female appearing breasts!

I have passed the 50 mark, the 40 mark, but the 30 mark was intimidating. Why??? My mother feared and hated 30. I can remember it like yesterday, I was 10. I don't know exactly what my mom said to make me think that 30 was so OLD, after all grandma was around 55 and was much older. Never-the-less, I thought my mother was gonna curl up and die...because she was OLD. Then, it occurred to my 10-year-old mind that not only was my mother gonna die before midnight because she was 30 and OLD, but that it was unthinkable that I would not give her a birthday present. We lived 13 miles out of town on a red-dirt road and 7 miles from the nearest store. I only had about 3 pennies, some rocks and some scraps of fabric in my Prince Albert can (yes RedDirt Woman...you reminded me of the prized Prince Albert cans!). I finally figured out something I could make for my mom. I careful used my 10-year-0ld hand to measure and borrowed grandma's "fabric" sissors to cut out my precious fabric. I carefully fashioned a loop on one corner, pot-holders! Well, not actually thick enough to pick up a pot, but remember I was 10....and didn't realize they were actually used for anything other than to hang on the wall in the kitchen. I carefully wrapped them in comic papers and tied a piece of my hoarded ribbon around the package. I was so pleased with myself. My mother would not go to her grave without a birthday present.

Mom came home from work, she was the "News Girl" on the local radio station...a job she hated...and she was tired. I remember she was resting on the divan after supper, shoes off and feet curled under her a piece of chocolate birthday cake in her hand when I presented her the package. I should have know she was pissed off from the way she sneered her lip at the package...but I was trying so hard to make her happy. Mom pulled off the comic paper and looked at the scrimpy little pieces of fabric. "What the hell is this?" she asked. "Pot-holders" I stammered. "Take this shit and get the hell out of here." Word for Word and I never forgot cursing because when somebody cussed that was a no-no in grandma's house, and there was sure to be heck to be paid! I remember flushing hot with embarrassment and running out of the room with tears filling my eyes. I could hear my grandmother admonish my mother with her full name, but didn't stay to listen to what was said. I went outside and climbed up in the chinaberry tree and satup there for hours, until it was dark and the mosquitoes were biting. I rememberthinking that I never wanted to ever be 30 if it made you be mean, ugly and OLD like that. The next day I threw my prized Prince Albert can, my scraps of fabric and all my treasures into the trash pile.

Mom never spoke to me ever about this childhood incident. One time I told her she had chicken legs when I was grown (30....grown ... not OLD) and to this day she will tell me every chance she gets to bring it up about how much I hurt her by making fun of her legs (which by the way....are still skinny), and I have said I'm sorry more times than can be counted, but she has never ever realized how much I remember the day she turned 30. I think to this day that scorned birthday present was a turning point in our relationship. A point where I knew that nothing I did would ever be good enough, but I never quit trying.

What age has brought to this experience is that I forgive her for being unkind to a child because I understand now that she was hurting. She and Daddy had just divorced, she had moved us back to Oklahoma from California. She was living with her parents in their house under their rules. She could only date if she was home by midnight. She was frustrated and horribly sad.

My mother undoubtably did many unkind things, but other times she did things that I didn't expect...like the time she gave me $50 out of the blue, I was 24, two weeks post-op from a hysterectomy and had a sick 15 month old baby and no money for medicine. I didn't ask, she just gave it to me with a hug. Then there was the time she called me and I was crying because my husband (#2) had gotten drunk, slapped me silly and called me all kinds of rotten names (curse words that don't bear repeating!) . She drove 4 hours in the middle of the night to give him a piece of her mind...after she pulled his drunken half-frozen ass out of the ditch he had passed out and rolled into. Me, I was waiting for him to freeze or drown and I wasn't helping him out of any ditches, I was actually praying to find him dead in the morning and pretending to be clueless. Come to think of it, maybe she didn't really do me a favor that time. Regardless, I appreciated her being a Lioness taking up for her cub.

So yes, careless words can be a double edged sword that can cut all the way to the heart. I make it a point to stop and think when I am angry...do I really want to loosen that sword??? Or is it better to walk away and fight another day? Me I choose to walk away, at least until I'm over my mad. I let all the poison cool, I go and write a blog and delete it. Then, I make up with who ever I was mad at, chances are it's all a misunderstanding because of careless words anyway.

Long week

2008-10-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a long week, productive in ways and non-productive in others.

I have been working ICU, which is always interesting in itself. I had a patient that had a lap choleycystectomy (gallbladder surgery). He and his wife were so appreciative of every little thing I did...it was a breath of fresh air! He wasn't really what I would call an ICU patient by the time I got there, but he had been in respiratory distress, so we were monitoring him pretty closely.

My other patient that night was a hoot. He had gotten sick working on his roof following Dolly. Now personally I don't think (especially after this week helping my hubby haul metal roofing material's up onto a roof) that an 70's something gent needs to be on a roof, but since it's very expensive to get repairs done, and the ol' boy knew what he was doing he worked on his roof. Well, the work was a little intense for him and he had a heart attack. His only complaint was that his shoulder was hurting. He had an old injury from bull-riding. BULL RIDING!!!! In his youth, of course, but man ...how interesting is that. Only in the South do you get a 70's year old complaining of his bull-riding injury!

The last night I worked I had one patient I'd already had, that had surgery (of course) and had a pacemaker, he was doing great, and I was coasting. My other patient had had major surgery several days before and had been confused off and on. The Doc had pulled his chest tubes and he was doing good, no pain, no shortness of breath. This should have made for an easy night, but due to his confusion I was having worries that he was going to fall, since he kept trying to get out of the bed. When I finally convienced him that it was 2 in the a.m. and not 2 in the p.m., he settled down to sleep...you could tell he didn't really believe me...but I lifted the shades and showed him the night sky and the street-lights. When we did his early a.m. x-ray there was indications that he was going to have to have the chest tube put back in. I had to call the doc. He was actually sleeping and doing ok, so I didn't awaken him, but I know he was going to be dissappointed to be hooked up again and not able to get around on his own. I wonder how he did? Guess I'll find out Monday night.

Me and some of my co-workers have decided to try to lose weight. I am sick of having a pot-belly that looks like I'm fixing to give birth at any second. We went to the Gym, after working our 12 hour shift. I did a punishing workout called Body Combat...I kept calling it Mortal Combat (like the game) ...then I walked a mile on the treadmill...then I did a class called Body Pump (a light-weight training class).....maybe doing two solid hours of exercise when I haven't done much in a long long long long time wasn't such a good idea. Then when I got up from my nap I helped haul metal up onto the roof and screw it down (as before mentioned). By the time it was getting dark my legs were freezing up...I could barely hobble to the truck to go to town to go out to eat. I could only eat about 1/3 of my meal (hurrah!), and this morning went back to the gym to walk on the treadmill again to try to loosen up my legs. Then I had to chase the dogs all over the two acres twice...so when I sat down again...you got it...my legs froze up again....Lord if I live through the agony maybe I can tone up again.

Why did I let myself get so flabby that a little exercise is such agony??? Oh, and poor Dave, after working on the roof all day yesterday, he got out at the store and almost couldn't get back into the truck because he started having muscle spasms in his legs. I had to shove him into the truck and drive him home and ply him with pain pills, muscle relaxants, and all kinds of analgisic balms to his muscles to get him to stop screaming. At least I'm not screaming ... yet... obviously I haven't worked hard enough yet.

Why are People so Inconsiderate??

2008-10-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

I worked last night, walked this morning (yesterday morning) and got woke up by Workmen on the roof...not their fault, you cannot roof a house without noise. I knew census was down, and since I only had 3 hours sleep in 24 hours, I called and got put on-call. When I was verified on call at 6 pm I laid back down and was dead to the world. So 3 hours later I get called by night shift supervisor, who is talking on another phone trying to decide whether to bring me into work or not. The whole gist of the conversation was that I would have to sit on 4th floor the rest of the night for a sleep study, and because I was on-call rather than schedule it was gonna cost the hospital time and a half instead of regular salary. So they decide to put the test off for the patient for one day to schedule somebody so it will not be as expensive (for the hospital), then she hangs up the other line, and tells me never mind...go back to sleep. What the fuck...just go back to sleep??? As you see it is now 1:46 a.m. and what am I not doing....I'm not freaking sleeping. So I've had 6 hours sleep in 38 hours...how does that compute to actual REST???? Not sure, but that time between 6 pm and 9 pm was awsome! I would love to just go back to sleep, but it's not happening, and I'm on-call for 1 hr and 19 minutes more, then I can take some Benadryl or something.

So, since I'm awake...here is my most favorite birthday memory:

My 11th birthday. My grandma baked a special cake for me. She had been practicing and practicing this new receipt for a Lemon cake (I loved lemons...but not necessarily lemon cake). She baked me a beautiful yellow Lemon cake and decorated it with those sugar characters you used to be able to buy at the grocery store, I remember it was a cowgirl, Then the candles were held by little candies. The candies actually tasted really gross on a Lemon cake, but to me it was wonderful and I bragged and bragged on the cake. My Uncle Dan (who is no longer living) was in from Oklahoma City and he brought me a bracelet with poodle dogs and every poodle dog had a pink rhinestone tail (my birthstone color). My mom bought me a book "Alice in Wonderland", which I still have...and I actually wrote in the book that I got it for my birthday...in little girl cursive. That book survived my house fire, because I had it packed at my mom's still, so I have a 40 year old copy of "Alice in Wonderland", wonder what the "Antiques Roadshow" would auction that buddy off for? LOL. Anyway I've never forgotten my cake with the cowgirl or how much I appreciated that my grandma went to all that trouble just for me...her little tom-boy grand-daughter!

This way a Birthday came...and went

2008-10-11T07:59:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was my Birthday and it came and went without a sniffle. I was 51...now I am still 51 and one day. What did I do with my second day of 51??? I walked the American Heart Association heart walk....3 whole miles...after my 13 hour shift and before I ate breakfast. I earned myself a free cap, a pat on the back...and since I've got home a bowl of cottage cheese. Isn't life grand???

Then I get home...surprise, my hubby went to Victoria Secret and got me a pretty sexy bra set in my favorite red. Somehow he doesn't see the little jiggles and rolls I got going, but I'll pretend I don't notice them either when I test run that little set!

I wanted to blog about my favorite birthday memory...but I'm just too darned tired. So...give me some good reading. Tell my your favorite birthday memory....

Insane Mama: A Big Old Spooky Mess

2008-10-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

Insane Mama: A Big Old Spooky Mess

You can follow the link to Insane Mama to enter a contest for gas money or a cash prize. All you have to do is submit a scary story or a Halloween story.

I have a doozy of a story. It's not a Halloween story, but it was very scary.

When I was married to Husband #4 (Don't Ask!)....we lived in a home from the '40's. We knew it was haunted. How did we know? Hummm...something about bangs in the night, voices screaming at the husband to "get down" and "stop" while he was painting his work-out room red. I got the hysterical man call at work at 2am...wanting to know where the hell the tequilla was so he could get his hands to stop shaking, and he was not a hysterical type of guy. Other times we would watch our two dogs, one a full grown German Shepherd watching something near the ceiling in the kitchen (always in the kitchen) and following it around the ceiling barking and whining and growling...and there was NOTHING there, not even a reflection of light from the street. The only other time the dogs acted that way was when somebody was breaking into the house next door and the dogs acted the same way while trying to scratch through the window to get at the burglar!

So, we pretty much were sure the house was haunted.

It was a few weeks before Halloween. My girlfriend Reggie and her *girl-friend* / *partner* were over visiting with her two boys. The boys didn't want to stay because it was getting dark and they had heard their mom talking with Hubby #4 about the house being haunted. Hubby #4 worked nights so he went to off to work, leaving me, my two girlfriends, his two daughts and two little boys to our own devices. We convinced the kids that ghosts are probably not real, and they if they were, we had lived in this house a long time...and the ghost was like Casper the Friendly Ghost because nothing bad had ever happened, just weird things like voices and noises.

We finally had every-body settled in eatting pop-corn and watching a DVD. We were watching Tom Hanks in "The Green Mile". We had been laughing and joking and everybody was in the living room. The porch light was on, all the lights in the living room were on, and all the lights in the dining room were on. The living room and the dining room were open...where it had been expanded into one big room at some time in the past. We were near the end of the show where the big Black Inmate is getting ready to go to the electric chair. He's walking down the hallway crying and lights start blowing out in the hallway on the show. At that EXACT moment all the lights in my living room, dining room and on my porch blew out...with sparks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The television did not go off or even flicker. Kids are screaming and all the grown ups stood up and screamed. My step-daughter almost had a panic attack...just sitting and shaking and going "oh, my God" Oh, my God" over and over. My other step daughter ran to her room and turned the light on in there.

Well, no body wanted to stay for the end of the movie. I had to replace all the light bulbs. The next morning Hubby #4 checked the fuse box and all the electrical stuff he could, but we never found an explanation for the lights going out....and the timeing??? Who could ever explain that?

To this day I still tell the story of the night the lights blew out at the same time as they did on "The Green Mile". I still have lots of witnesses that the story is true and I still love watching Tom Hanks in "The Green Mile". I no longer live in the haunted house, and I have never experinced anything like this again.

Something Drunk happened on the way to the Capitol

2008-10-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well, Austin being the party town it is advertised to be, I couldn't go to a 5 star hotel and not at least taste the party life, could I???? Apparently not...so with some recommendations from the locals we hailed a Taxi and went to eat at at a place called the Belmont...which I promptly dubbed Bellview ( like the crazy farm in New York City...oops sorry...politically correct...Psychiatric Facility...) ...and Bellview it stayed the rest of the time. It had a outside upstairs patio that looked down on the local talent...which was playing guitar and singing their little hearts our. I drank Grey Goose and OJ and ate a marvelous plank grilled Salmon with grilled asperagus. It was really tasty...and of course...with a name like Bellview...expensive to boot.

Later we walked down to an old club called Antoine's. It had sheet metal walls...and the ceiling was those restored plaster ceiling type tile painted an attractive (?) rust brown. The bathroom was cool, had sheet metal stalls made for size "0" girl's. I'm a comfortable size 12 and I had to almost turn sideways to get in the stall. I actually hit my knee on the tolite paper dispenser! The door to the stall looked like the ceiling tiles distressed by a hammer, but the sinks were cool. The cabinet top was like hammered brass with brass sinks made into them and the hardware was like copper colored with the porclain (ms??) handles...very antique looking.

Anyway at Antoine's they had a two man band called "The Best of Love". The lead singer and guitarist was a white dude...that sang so smooth a cajun beat you would not even believe his race...while looking at him. The drummer was coal black and a big giant of a guy, shaved head, pierced ears and all! Like Mr. Clean in negative. Anyhow, he was playing the drums with these crazy paddles like wooden kitchen spoons. The music was out of this world. The guitarist played his guitar laid on his lap like a steel guitar and used a glass slide. It sounded almost like a harmonica...the music sounded like Cajun, bayou, and the blues all slung together. Very original and very memoriable. We bought a homemade CD they had produced of their songs...they only have about 5 original songs...but they were great!

More Grey Goose and vodka (notice I'm calling it vodka and vodka by this point???). We got a taxi back to the hotel. We went up to the roof-top hot tub and lounged around. More Grey Goose with a splash of that orange stuff in it. Then back to the room. Around about this time I suddenly notice that the set has fell out of my Opal ring Dave gave me for Christmas. I was so upset. I looked for it everywhere...but everything was a bit blurrrrrrrrrrrrrry so I wound up just going to bed to sleep everything off.

WELL the next morning bright and early my brother wakes me up with a phone call wanting to know if we want to go to breakfast before going to the graduation ceremony at the Capitol (my son is graduating from the Police Academy at the Capitol building in Austin). WELL MENTIONING FOOD WAS NOT A VERY GREAT IDEA AT THIS POINT. All the fun from the evening before came rushing up on me. Thank God, Dave slept through most of this ....ah, worshiping of the white goddess...but later....oh my lord...later wasn't good. I didn't have a headache kinda hangover. Just one of those...everytime you turned your head fast the room spun, you almost pass out, then you need to throw up and are so thirsty you think your tongue is a sponge. WELL DAVE WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT SYMPATHETIC EITHER...HE THOUGHT I DESERVED THE REVENGE OF THE GOOSE. He forgot who poured him out of the taxi and up the stairs....and into the elevator and kept him from drowding in the hot tub. I had already thrown up 5 times before the taxi got there to take us to the Capitol.

Well you know how there are always lots of security hanging around the Captiol building on any given day, well since they are having a graduation of the Rookie Cops times that number by about 3 times and you can imagine how many policemen are hovering around the elevators. I start searching for a restroom (the taxi had to circle the Capitol twice to find the right entrance...it was about 98 degree's and he drove with the air-conditioning off)...spinning head, heat, circling taxi, quick walk to the right entrance, up lots of stairs, head spinning, head spinning, heat, ....elevator???? By this time I feel like I'm about to black-out or throw up whichever comes firts! Well, I couldn't find the bathroom. Old building, few signs...the only sign a tiny gold lettered "ladies" hidden down a hallway....with a turn. I dash acoss a slippery waxed floor on new heels praying....God God God...please God God God.....looking for....oh, a trash can.....yes...I embarrassed myself....Water in Water Out....I turn around to find out....I have been followed by multiple uniformed personnel (guess they thought I had a bomb).I was so embarrassed!!!! To tope everything off my ex-husbands new wife had just arrived in time to witness me making quite the spectical of myself. My humiliation was complete. I finally found the restroom, and with a lot of wet paper-towels to the face, was able to make the ceremony, and the picture taking session, and I didn't embarrass myself any further.

Grey Goose evil, Grey Goose evil, Grey Goose evil, Grey Goose evil (I am officially on the wagon...from Grey Goose anyway)

Water Water Everywhere

2008-09-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

Well, you know how it is, feast or famine, drought or flood. Since I haven't lived in this area that long, I wasn't too worried about the drought...except with all the wild-fires in the Spring and early summer. In fact when we were in Tennessee my hubby was so excited when it rained he got out the cam-recorder and documented it. It was really funny, to me, because I had spent the last few years either in Beaumont, Texas or the Piney forest of East Texas, where rain was more of a bother than a blessing. My hubby on the other hand (this was around the time we got married), had spent years in Carlsbad, New Mexico and West Texas...Midland and Odessa to be exact, then he had moved to the Rio Grande Valley. To him rain was not only a blessing, it was an occasion to be celebrated with champane!

Here, now....water, water, everywhere. Since Dolly we have been blessed with an over-abundance of rain. The soil here just cannot handle it. We live in black-land clay, you hear Rio Grande Valley and you think sand...but it just isn't so. With clay, after so much absorption...water just stands there going nowhere. Now remember we live in the country, so we have a septic system. After so much water, the septic lines and tanks fill up, they cannot drain because the ground is saturated. So, we are having trouble with our brand new septic system...and they just don't come with a garrantee. Oh, and remember the texas mosquitoes??? There is no stopping the breeding action when there is water standing inches above the ground everywhere you look. And the grass....beautiful...and deep...and unmowable...because the water is standing inches deep....and it HASN'T RAINED IN OVER A WEEK!

The lakes are full...for the first time...ever. I guess the water table has came up. I have a friend who cannot even shower at home because she lives on Class IV land...and apparently didn't do the recommended Class IV septic...and her well now smells like rotten eggs, and so does her bath water. So, guess since we have "city"water, we actually are doing ok. It's just that pesky little problem of water backing up in the bathtub. Guess it's a spit bath for me!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH

2008-09-26T11:43:00.001-07:00

My hubby is Mr. Technical Techo decided to change my homepage and his. Now we have something called Monzilla Foxfire and he has managed to hide all the blogs I follow that I had saved as favorites because I didn't know how to add a blog-roll. So all these great blogs I love to read I have to re-find, and If I've forgotten somebodies name or blog-spot...I'm basically screwed. So Here I sit with the Plot of Revenge...How he has Figured Out How to Pry me Off the COmputer to sit outside in the 97 degree heat With Him and Watch the Chicken Smoke...not happening...this gal is gonna figure this 'puter out....now were did I put that delete key?

Sucky Ways To Die

2008-09-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

I always thought of the many ways we destroy our bodies that liver failure would be the worst way to go. Yellow skin, yellow eyes, swollen belly, bleeding from every orfice, brain in shut down from over-abundance of ammonia, crapping every 15 minutes due to the meds to take said ammonia out of the system...yup a very sucky way to die.

I have revised my list to include total renal (kidney) failure. The kind where you have to have dialysis three times per week or swell up like a puffer fish and suffer agonizing pain all over and slow shut down of every system...most importantly...and not to be under-estimated your respiratory system.

I've had two patient's in less than than many weeks with basically the same thing. They both refuse dialysis...they know they are gonna die...but choose to live their last days without being hooked to the dialysis machine. That is their choice. My problem??? Doctors...who know the patient is in agonizing pain, can't breath because of the fluid overload and they want them to go for pointless and useless tests to tell them what they already know...duh...they are in kidney failure. Happened last week, Doc tells me to "convince" the patient to go for the CT Scan (humm, she is now 350# due to all the fluid, her legs are so heavy she can't move them, it is agony for us to just turn her to wash her bottom and back and the doc wants her to lay flat...transfer to a gurney...transfer ...still flat...to a tiny table that goes into the machine. Lie flat, possibly with her arms over her head...if they will go that high...then transfer back to the gurney, stay flat for the 15 minute trip back to her room and transfer back to her bed.) Now, if she survived all that "testing" just what good would it do? My answer to the doc. "Dude, she signed a DNR, She is wanting to go home with hospice, She is refusing hemodialysis...and this test is gonna help her, how?" "oh"...well he cancelled the test. She went home with her family by ambulance a couple of days later. I heard last night that she passed away, as expected, surrounded by her loving family.

Nuff said...I don't want liver failure or renal failure...

Not a Real Nurse?

2008-09-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

WEll, I got a little fed up with being the total support person for a year for the new nurse...and stressed by all the stuff going on at work...so I applied and was accepted for a new position. I'm gonna be a casemanager. I'll still be a nurse, just the go-to person for arranging home health, hospice, rehab, and lots of other marginal duties. So, my co-workers are looking at me like I'm a turn coat...I was even told I was no longer a "real nurse".

So, am I only a "real nurse" when I am handing out meds, mediating with a family, doing teaching, fielding orders and phone calls and all those things. Why is it if you arn't wiping bottoms and giving bed-baths you arn't a "real nurse". And speaking of that, why is it that the people who think you arn't a "real nurse" are the very people who won't "touch" a patient, unless they have no other choice...and pick your brains to pieces...but consider their-selves a "real nurse". Education is not what makes you a real nurse...caring is what makes you a real nurse. I think I can do a great job of caring, and helping people learn to care for themselves.

If I am not able to learn to do this new job, I'm sure their will be plenty of "real nurse" jobs for me to go back to.

On the flip side, my honey is looking forward to me being home nights and weekends. :)

Abby gets the bird

2008-09-19T08:23:00.001-07:00

Beautiful day yesterday, sunny, cool, little breeze blowing, so we opened up all the windows. Abby was playing vulture dog...just hanging on the back of the love seat looking out the window. Me, I was trying to catch a nap before I had to go to work...somehow 4 hours of sleep was not cutting it. All of a sudden, whack...whack...THUMP.

Apparently some nearsighted quails tried to fly right through the window screen, and Abby reacted like any red-blooded fraidy cat dog...and fell off the back of the love-seat. Then she tried to save face by jumping back up on the loveseat and raising nine kinds of billy hell barking and growling...which got the rest of the pack going.

Dave had to reported all this to me with glee, as I stumbled into the living room to see what all the fuss was about.

Too funny, then the pups all had to go out and pretend to be bird dogs...looking for birds...or feathers...or anything they could find and bark at it. Poor baby cow. Poor baby cow that is Abby's neighbor. Poor baby cow. Poor momma who got zero zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's.

We missed Ike...but...

2008-09-18T08:18:00.001-07:00

Well we missed Ike, but a lot of my friends and extended family didn't. My (ex) step-daughters evacuated to Sulfur, LA...and wound up getting hit harder than if they had stayed in Beaumont, and three days later were told to evac from Sulfur because they had been without electricity for 3 days, so they just went home to....la-da-da...no electricity. They are getting pretty used to it by now. I have friends working at the hospitals there who I haven't heard from yet. I hope to try again the next few days as peoples cell phones start powering up again and the towers are back up.

Here...we went to the beach on Tuesday, Padre Island...the access roads were closed. We took the dogs and walked in with a couple of sandwiches, wieners for the pups, and some towels to sit on. We had the best time ever. There were only two or three beach-combers...and we were able to let the dogs off the hook to run and play and explore in the dunes. Funny thing, the dunes are closer to the beach, and the beach sand is all packed down because the loose stuff washed out. The surf is still muddy and only an idiot would brave the rip-tides...but for a romp in the water with the puppies it was wonderful. Dave pronounced it as the best beach day he has ever had.

Amen!

YIKES...HERE COMES IKE!!!!!!!

2008-09-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

This is me and Abby working on a baby quilt for my new grandbaby. Notice how calm we appear. This was before we heard there was another hurricane in the gulf. Anxiety Annie...that should be my nickname, I an a ninny when it comes to storms that contain the following: wind, rain, lightening, and thunder...and did I mention wind, rain, lightening, and thunder....???

WEll somehow I got the picture on here twice...not what I wanted to do.

Ike is coming. We are warned of the following: Be prepared to evacuate with your patient's on a "volunteer" basis. (yeah right), you must report for work prepared for lock-in (in other words...once ya get here ya ain't going home...no matter what!). If you evacuate...you have a ride in an ambulance to a sister hospital where you will be responsible for a patient that is shipped....do not know if you will have a ride back in an ambulance or not...that is not known....you may know where you are going...you may not. You may have clean clothes with you, you may not, you will be responsible to pay for your own meals...if there are meals available (so take card, cash and extra undies kiddies...it might get rough!) When you get to the sister facility...you may or may not have a place to sleep (so are we taking care of the patient 24 hours a day for how long....and if we go to sleep after 36 hours or so is that a cause to be suspended or lose your nursing license??? or is that common sense?) or you stay at your facility...with admits pouring in because anybody with a chronic condition that is afraid to evac...like hemodialysis patients and patients on C-pap's (no electricity and every body panics)...so you may be caring for twice the patient's with half the helf and everybody is totally needy, and they bring oodles of family with them (who cannot be turned away). I understand everybody wants to be safe. But, when I report to work I leave my husband to fend for himself with three dogs in a mobile home in a least a Cat 3, and we know a Cat 3 and mobiles don't mix....I'm trying to talk him into evac before the storm to Austin or San Antonio so he can get a room, and be my rock in the storm when I evac to the same town...(I'll insist...I think), and I know I'll have a ride home...and I won't be so scared....of the wind, rain, lightening, and so on and so forth.....

Then of course there is the best case scenerio...it goes North and hits somebody else...but then that's where my son, daughter-in-law and grandson live...could be it would trace North....How selfish would it be to pray it go South of the Rio Grande???? The people there have nothing...no hurricane supplies, no government support, and they live in shacks...even I could not be so selfish....So.................

Anxienty Annie is praying for a miracle...that it peters out into a little ol' tropical storm Ike with a lot of rain and a lot of miracle in the thunder and that no body gets hurt or loses their homes.

50 1st dates....

2008-09-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Remember the show, 50 1st Dates with Drew Barrymore??? Well I had a simular experience last week with my new patient.

I recieved a 91 year old grandpa...with Alzheimers dementia. He had no family with him, and obviously was a poor historian. He was very pleasant and spoke a little English (Better than my little bit of Spanish). Every time I went into the room he would ask "Who are you?" in a fearful voice. Each time I calmly responded "I'm Ginger, your nurse." He would respond each time " I'm Mr. Jose." (not his real name). I would do what I needed and leave with a small light left on. About the 5th time this happened it started being funny. The aide went in with me to turn him. Now you have to know my aide...I'll call him Jay. Well Jay used to be an EMT which he thinks makes him ultimately qualified to tell the RN's what to do...or maybe it's because he is a man and is over 50 years old. Anyway, in his condensending voice (in front of the patient) he told me "YOU need to learn Spanish, why haven't you taken a Spanish course? You're a nurse." (the subtitle here is: you're a nurse I know you can afford it, don't you care that you can't talk to your patient's?). "Well Jay, I'd certainly love to take a class, but as you know the only time they teach it is at night....when I'm at work...and I can't take off work a whole semester to take a class." (unlike his family situation...we are a one income family!). My patient, Mr. Jose listened very carefully to what was being said....Jay told him in broken Spanish what we were going to do (give him a bath). Mr. Jose looked at Jay, looked at me....and shook his finger at Jay and said ....."YOU need to learn a little Spanish, SHE's ok!" Jay's jaw dropped to the floor, and I had to giggle, it was sooooo freaking funny. I actually think he meant to tell Jay he needed to learn a little manners!

Later when the doctor came in...Jose and I had another of our 50 1st Dates. "Who are you?", "I'm your nurse, Ginger".... The doc spoke fluent Spanish. She was talking to the patient and she started laughing, and patting his hand and saying, no no no...then another quick string of fast Spanish. I asked her what was so funny....She said she had asked him if he knew where he was and he had said "yes"....she said "well where are you at?" He responded "the funeral home"! No wonder he was so fearful everytime I went into the room...he thought he was dead!

Alzheimers has to be the saddest disease. I used to work with a nurse at the prison, her husband had Alzheimers, and he was in his early 50's. She eventually had to quit her nursing job to care for him full time. She had him in assisted living...but it still took her as a full-time caregiver to keep him safe.

I looked up some info on Alzheimers because my nursing mag's have printed articles about advances being made. A good resource is www.alz.org which explains about this disease, the progress being made and resources for caregivers.

Me, I wonder if Mr. Jose will be there on Monday still for our 50th 1st date?

Why Visitors Should Go Home...but they don't :(

2008-09-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

Had a patient repeat tonight. Same dude that almost coded on me with the same spouse that screamed at me and grabbed my arm. WELL LET ME TELL YA! The poor guy got no sleep last night...his wife poked and prodded and shook him all night...and would come get me...."his stomach is hurting him"...

Well Ms. PIMA (ok that is bad...but it stands for Pain in my Arse), what makes you think his abdomen is hurting him, he is actually asleep.

Well Ms. SmartyPants nurse when you take your hand push it five inches down into his stomach, grasp the "fat" and twist it elicites a moan and he starts slapping the side of his bed with his hand.

Ms. PIMA, perhaps if you didn't attempt to palpate his spine from the front, he might possibly stop hurting.

But, Ms. SmartyPants nurse, he must be hurting.

Ms. PIMA, I really must insist that you unhand your husbands stomach before he covers you with Pulmocare emesis, which wouldn't be very pleasant.

Well, Ms. SmartyPants nurse, I really insist that you medicate him for pain since he is obviously in pain. (actually by the point the patient WAS in fact moaning) I could "see" the pain. I bet in the depths of his mind, back behind the drug induced fog and the ICU psychosis..he is thinking...someday Ms. PIMA...someday I will run to the light...run to the light to get away from the constant goading, pinching, pushing and pulling on me you do!

Oh, Joy! She actually slept one hour last night...so my patient got to sleep one hour. She said she would go home for a few hours to sleep today, so the Mr. will get a little sleep...of course that means she will be back to fuss over him and pick, prod, and piddle all night. I swear she stood at the door's window watching me, and everytime my behind got near a chair so I could chart and check the Medication records for the next shift...she was calling me for something. I feel sorry for the Mr. Maybe they will send him to rehab so he can rest up before he has to go home.

Me. I got off work and went to the other hospital to actually visit somebody, my neighbor. She is so nice...she gave me an ivy she grew for our house. She had knee surgery and is a bit under the weather. I took her a card, a mum plant (gold and yellow...very pretty) and two magazines. Her hubby wasn't there yet. Their cow died last night and he's waiting for the county to come and bury her. They sure loved that cow...she actually died of old age! Ah, to be a cow...a HAPPY COW!!!

Oh, and speaking of HAPPY COW'S never never never never sent a FarSides cartoon with a cow on it to a sister-in-law....they just don't get the humor...especially when they (unbeknownest to you) have gained 50 lbs since you last saw them....yes...my bad. I was trying to cheer her up since she had just gotten released from the funny farm. I sent her a card that had a salesman cow on it and a housewife cow opens the door. Salesman cow asks "are you a happy cow?"....and the rest is history. My sister-in-law didn't speak to me for nearly a year.

It is a Hurricane Baby

2008-09-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

My ex-step-daughter who was due in two weeks and lives in a "sub" of Beumount, TX had to evacuate for Gustav. Her mom lives in Tyler, so there she went and when she got there had to go immediately to the hospital where she had a beautiful baby boy 5lbs and 6 oz, they named him Camdyn. So she'll always have the ultimate hurricane story!

What did that tree cost?!!!!

2008-08-29T02:11:00.000-07:00

Went to Lowe's to pick up a replacement tree for the fig tree that bit the dust following Dolly (too much standing water did it in). Found a lot of stuff to buy (guess Dave will be digging holes), I get to the check out and the girl is ringing up my purchases. Her eyes get really big, she looks at me, swallows and asks, "Ms. How much was that banana tree?". "Well it was originally $58, but is on sale for $24.". "Oh", she says, "Well I need to call my manager, it overcharged you." "Well how much does it say it costs?" I innocently ask, "UMMMM it rang up $10,000."...............!!!!! I look at the pitiful, on sale, only three-leaves left clearance banana tree..."Well I sure don't see GOLD on the leaves...I think the computer is wrong!" We got a good giggle out of it. I had to wait 30 minutes for management to come to the garden center, then she discounted it more because of the mixup. I got a $58 tree for $6.99. Quite the bargin...for a $10,000 item I thought.

AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH

2008-08-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

I AM A GOOD NURSE, POSSIBLY A GREAT NURSE, POSSIBLY AN EXTRAORDINARILY GREAT NURSE. But lately, it's been run, hurry, do this do that...now..now...snap...snap...snap...quick...oops, more, get me, bring me...now! No please or thank-you's ...just snapped orders from patient's, family members, and bosses. Ok, I get it, everybody is stressed. Everybody...is..sick..dying...or whatever. Family's are stressed...take it out on the nurse. Doctor's are stressed....take it out on the nurse. Housekeeping is stressed...take it out on the nurse. Pharmacy is stressed...take it out on the nurse...People at other facilities are stressed getting transfers from the shift before you came to work...take it out on the nurse.who.was.not.even.there.when.it.happened.and.expect.her.to.find.the.discharged.chart.
and.fax.what.you.want....in the middle...of a major code blue....(which she went to and did compressions and management of a balloon pump) ....and a fire drill...!!!!!!....and ER trying to give report on patient coming...AS SOON AS THE FIRE DRILL IS OVER!!!!! Even a good nurse, great nurse, or nurse extradinare is gonna reach reaction overload!

On top of everything else going on in this circus I call my LAST shift, I had an ICU transfer...on mega fluids 1/2 NS @120, GETTING a Golyte prep (ummmmh can we say 4 LITERS OF FLUID) for the 2ND DAY in a row (gee ICU nurse who transfered this patient, why did no one think to tell the MD that the patient started the day 7 LITERS OF FLUID positive...then add the next 4 LITERS...and fluid...and and and) and and...

I started watching his breathing very closely...his lung sounds...how he was abdominal heaving...side to side...Not midnight yet...called on-call to give a head's up in case the patient progressed to a more typical respiratory distress. Got order to D/C fluids down to keep vien open..(great, I'd already done that 3 hrs ago...and was planning to get an order for that as soon as the shit quit hitting the fan around here), no Lasix order (must see labs 1st). Well before lab got there...pt deoxgenated to low 80's (got a stat ABG +..that means arterial blood gases with all the electrolytes), put on non-rebreather at 100% oxygen. Called on-call back...as in GET HERE QUICK QUICK OR GIVE ICU ORDER...THIS PT NEEDS INTUBATED NOW! Oh, no, cannot sent to ICU or intubate without the MD showing up....buy now we are bagging and I've called for the rapid response team...Everybody shows up for the party...so I go to the phone and call the wife...who didn't really want to come, but I insisted.

She steps into the room, grabs me by the arm (yes there are bruises) shakes me SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WAS FINE WHEN I LEFT AND NOW YOU'VE TRIED TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hummmmmmmmmmmm....she was the one who insisted he have the test again the next day...with the mega prep...................I was the one who saved his life.

He's in ICU , vented, doing fine. Me I want to quit nursing....walk away, go back to being a secretary...where no body cares what you do or when you do it and if you don't get finished...who gives a shit???

Then to top the night off, since my intubated patient took the last ICU bed, I had to take a transfer...that was going to ICU...until my intubated patient took priority...and there was no bed left....so LUCKY ME....I got a patient that required me in the room the rest of my shift to keep her breathing...........

I left work after 9:30 a.m., Respiratory Doc came in and tapped my new patient's lungs and got her breathing again.

Now I can rest up. I'm off for 2 glorious days. My honey and I are thinking about me going back to travel nursing. Maybe I need a change of pace. Maybe I need a break....maybe I need another vacation. I'm feeling burnout.

Friends

2008-08-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

I was just sitting this morning drinking my coffee and thinking about friends. Friends I've had at different points in my life and where they are now and if I even know anymore.

I don't remember any real friends until 6th grade. Before that my cousins were my best friends. My favorite cousin was "Jimbo". We did everything together. We slept over at each others houses on weekends, we were in the 4-H club together. I felt like she was so lucky because she had sisters. They were all lots older, but she had them. She could ask them all kinds of questions...about makeup, boys, life in general. You know, all the things you want to know, but won't ask your mom.

Uncle Bud and Aunt Corabell owned a dairy. It was really neat (when it wasn't your responsiblity) to get up and go get the cows in, put the feed in the troughs and watch Uncle Bud clean and hook up the milkers. I was endlessly fasinated and did not at that time, appreciate how hard the work really was. That dairy was cleaner than most houses. Grandma and Grandpa had a milk cow...a herford white face...not exactly a quality..quanity producer, but she had lost her calf, so grandpa started feeding her up and milking her. We learned how to make home made butter and buttermilk. I learned how to hand milk, but my hands weren't very strong, so I didn't do it much, but I did know how. That was probably the meanest cow I ever knew, she would hide in the back pasture when it was time to milk her and we had to go hunt her over the whole 30 acres. We never knew if she was hiding in the gully or the woods, and once she even jumped the fence and hid on the ajoining property, but then I digress. I was talking about friends here.

Back to Jimbo. When I was 10 years old we moved to Texas. Not a long move, but it put Jimbo 40 miles away, which pretty much ended the sleepovers. We grew apart, met new friends and moved on with our lives. She grew up, had kids, and so on and so forth. When I was at my Aunts Funeral in December, I got her address and phone number from one of her sisters. I was so excited, it made me feel connected to family again. She lives not far from my brother Greenville, but very far from here. I called her and we talked nearly two hours. I have written her two letters....I invited her to come to visit, and stay overnight...even her daughter who was considering going to college down here. She never wrote back. She visited Padre Island this summer with her family, passing within miles of my home, but didn't bother to call. I guess too much time has passed for her to put anymore effort into this friendship. I didn't go to the family reunion, but my brother did, he talked to her, she mentioned her vacation...that's how I know she was down here. You'd think she would want to spend even a few hours talking about family, but guess not.

Then in high school my best friend was Mary. Mary dropped out of school when she was 17, but she was so smart. We stayed in touch, and our kids played together as children. She moved away from C'ville, then I moved away, then she moved back to that area, but I didn't. I've lost her address, but I still know where she lives, the last time I was through there I went by her house to visit...yes it's been 11 years, but next time I'm in that part of Texas I'll try again. I've tried to find her on the internet, but she has a very common last name, so that's impossible, I've tried listings for her small town, but her phone is not on any of them. I wonder if she remembers me...ever.

Then there was my best friend Janet. I hear from her occasionally....an email now and then.

I've had a lot of friends over the years, but we all get busy with our lives and don't take care of our friendships. I actually have friends on MySpace and Blogger that I have never met, and they are special friends to me....they listen to me, and answer me, and make me feel connected to the world. I think I really like this blogging thing. It gives me a chance to just think out my feelings and vent, and just be myself.

Last, but certainly not least....and not a "girlfriend", my best friend is Dave. He is my lover, my confidant, my everything. We talk for hours about nothing. We laugh, we eat, we tease, we watch tv, or not, we listen to music or to the silence ... just being around each other is enough. I've had a lot of friends of the years, but I've never had one who just knew what I needed by looking at me. He calls me on the phone, just to leave a message. He sends me little emails to work, knowing that when I get a chance to check it...be it 4 am or later, that it gives me a little boost just knowing that he is thinking about me. I don't think I could survive without him.

Friends....they just make like....fuller.........

Karoke

2008-08-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm off, and I'm drinking and not driving and doing really bad karoke at home. I have a machine, my sweetie piped it all through the tv and the surround sound (glutton for punishment he is)...but if I can stand his guitar practice, he can stand my singing....what, oh, well, where are all the dogs??? Do I see paws over the ears??? What was that howl??? A high "C" maybe??? Or a howl of severe pain??? It doesn't really matter, singing makes me feel happy, and happy is good on a day off.

Speaking of work, in a round-a-bout way. My co-worker , Ms. Newbie Nurse Forever called in "tired" to work. Actually called in and said she was too tired to work, she worked too hard last night, call her off, get somebody else to work. Hummmmmmmmmm. She had 4 patient's...I had six. She had one measly admit...I had two back to back admits, one ambulance transfer home, one hourly blood sugar on an insulin drip, one post surg 2 days, with a chest tube, and...that's how it goes. When she works me and the other experienced nurse get all the hard stuff, all the admits, any transfers or discharges...and she whines all night how over-worked she is. She is going on vacation soon....I looked on the schedule...17 days of pure bliss...no body picking my brain for anything....how ever will I survive???? Some days I come in so tired...and I feel like I have been in an episode of Alfred Hickocks "The Birds" and she has been picking at my brain all night long till the point I can't even think. How I drive home is on auto-pilot. I like her...as a person...as a friend...but as a nurse she is driving me and all my co-workers bonkers. She calls in all the time, tells us she's calling in because "I don't like the assignment I had, I'm too tired, they want me to work too hard"...and I wonder...she DOESN'T EVER TOUCH A PATIENT! She gets somebody else to do all her dirty work. Someday soon she may call in "Tired" and find out she doesn't even have a job anymore. In the meantime...I have 17 days of using my own brain for my own work..WooHoo. Oh, and when she was off "tired" I had two new travelers who didn't know where anything was or how our paperwork was to be done, and taking the time to help them still left me with plenty of time for my patients and admit...and I had the most patient's assigned to me because I was a "regular"....and I still had an EASIER night than with the 1 1/2 year "New Nurse Forever"!

Oh, and back to karoke. I rock...I roll, and I sing...bad karoke!

Dolly, Random weirdness

2008-08-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

Well, Dolly may be gone, but there are still weird things to see and experience.

The elevator at work. The rear door doesn't open. It always says it's on the 3rd floor no matter where it really is. When you get in it always says you're on the 13th floor or going to the 13th floor...and strangely we only have 4 floors and a roof! So is that Lucky 13...like the guitar pick's or Unlucky 13 like with superstion??

The parking lot in the mornings. More than trees being pulled up and disrupted, our parking lot is flooded everymore, with water pooling up from the sprinklers. Maybe they are stopped up from the stilt, but what the heck is the matter with the timers...the water is still pumping out in the mornings, not spraying, pumping like a cut artery. Weird.

Driving home, I realize the farmers have probably lost millions of dollars in the valley. Cotton lies on the ground like wet popcorn. What cotton is still on the bush is dangling like wet hankies. Not exactly the fluffy cotton I'm used to seeing.

Roof's covered with bright blue tarps.

Ditches full of stacks of tree limbs.

People helping people....now that's not only weird...it's surreal!